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Original poster

Would you be annoyed if your partner went away with his dad instead of visiting your family?

33 replies

emritza · 03/08/2023 11:44

Every year I go and visit my step-siblings in Glasgow (we live in Bristol). My partner came last year and met them all. We go the same weekend every year. This is the only time each year that I see them.

My partner has told me he is going to go away with his dad instead. He's going to a city that I wanted to go to for a long time, and we had vague plans to go to one year. He said he'd love for me to come, but knows I have the visit to Glasgow. He suggested I do the Glasgow weekend a different one this year, but usually I go up for my brother's birthday.

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 03/08/2023 11:45

Wouldnt bother me at all.

Approaching · 03/08/2023 11:45

He sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Original poster
emritza · 03/08/2023 11:59

But he knew this is the weekend of Glasgow

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 03/08/2023 12:01

sounds fine, you go see your family - he sees his.

Whaleandsnail6 · 03/08/2023 12:01

Sounds fine. You have the option to either change the Glasgow weekend if it isnt already fully arranged or to continue with your plans and him his.

MWNA · 03/08/2023 12:30

Why should he prioritise your family over his?
He seems to be behaving perfectly reasonably.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 03/08/2023 12:32

I wouldn’t have an issue with this at all

pinkyredrose · 03/08/2023 12:33

Have you asked him why he picked that weekend?

Smashingwatermelons · 03/08/2023 12:35

Sounds like a good plan - if you want to join him, change your Glasgow weekend. If you prefer to go to Glasgow, you can do that.
Sounds like the choice is yours.

Hannahsbananas · 03/08/2023 12:35

emritza · 03/08/2023 11:59

But he knew this is the weekend of Glasgow

So? Very odd that you expect him to prioritise your step siblings over his Dad.

continentallentil · 03/08/2023 12:36

Surely you can switch the Glasgow weekend - if you think he won’t go back to his city it’s the sensible thing to do.

Going forward you can manage it differently - discuss that with him.

Tinkerbyebye · 03/08/2023 12:37

I wouldn’t be bothered if he wanted to go somewhere with his dad, however I would be upset if he booked a visit to a city I wanted to go to, and he knew that.

so options are, you move your weekend as he suggests, do you need to go for your brothers birthday? Or you go as planned and he does his thing, or you talk to him about how upset you are he has booked a weekend to a city he knows you want to visit on a weekend you know each year you visit family, so can he go somewhere else and you do the city together at some other time

Gnomegnomegnome · 03/08/2023 12:37

I don’t really understand. You do your thing and he does his? That’s perfectly fine.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/08/2023 12:38

This is YOUR weekend in Glasgow. He's met everyone. Now go up and enjoy he mg with your siblings.

He's got a chance to go with his Dad, don't guilt him into giving it up to watch you hang out with your family. He'll resent you and it's selfish.

CorylusAgain · 03/08/2023 12:38

Is your question about him not visiting your step siblings or that he's arranged a trip to a place you want visit without checking you could go?

Takoneko · 03/08/2023 12:38

I don’t think he’s done anything wrong. He can go with his dad and you go to see your family. He’s even offered you the option to come with them if you want. Just because you usually go at one specific time, doesn’t mean it has to be that way. If going on that weekend is really important to you then you go to Glasgow and you can go to the other city another time.

purplecorkheart · 03/08/2023 12:38

Perfectly fine. You do your thing and he does his. You could also change the date of your trip if it really bothers you.

Hannahsbananas · 03/08/2023 12:39

Tinkerbyebye · 03/08/2023 12:37

I wouldn’t be bothered if he wanted to go somewhere with his dad, however I would be upset if he booked a visit to a city I wanted to go to, and he knew that.

so options are, you move your weekend as he suggests, do you need to go for your brothers birthday? Or you go as planned and he does his thing, or you talk to him about how upset you are he has booked a weekend to a city he knows you want to visit on a weekend you know each year you visit family, so can he go somewhere else and you do the city together at some other time

so can he go somewhere else and you do the city together at some other time
Go somewhere else??
You can’t be serious.

WandaWonder · 03/08/2023 12:40

No issues at all

mindutopia · 03/08/2023 12:41

Nope wouldn't bother me. Actually, I bloody wish he would just visit his family instead of wishing me to attend and supervise them. I don't like the whole because we're in a relationship, we have to do everything together thing. I like visiting people without dh and I would love it if dh did more visiting with his family without me. I love him. But we don't need to do everything together and it's important to maintain those relationships as an individual, not just as part of a couple. I suspect he probably didn't enjoy the visit last year, probably isn't keen to make it a regular occurrence, so is very happy for you both to do your own thing, which is fine.

Takoneko · 03/08/2023 12:41

Tinkerbyebye · 03/08/2023 12:37

I wouldn’t be bothered if he wanted to go somewhere with his dad, however I would be upset if he booked a visit to a city I wanted to go to, and he knew that.

so options are, you move your weekend as he suggests, do you need to go for your brothers birthday? Or you go as planned and he does his thing, or you talk to him about how upset you are he has booked a weekend to a city he knows you want to visit on a weekend you know each year you visit family, so can he go somewhere else and you do the city together at some other time

It’s possible to visit a city more than once. He can go with his Dad and then at a later date also go with the OP. There is no reason at all for him to cancel going to a place with his dad (that perhaps his dad really wants to go to) just because the OP wants to go there too.

CurlewKate · 03/08/2023 12:58

It's a bit shit if he knew the Glasgow weekend dates before he booked the trip with his dad. And surely anyway it's easier to rearrange a trip with one person than a whole family?

VeridicalVagabond · 03/08/2023 13:03

I don't really see the issue, you both get to go spend time with your respective families. You can always go to this city together as a couple at a later date if you really want to visit.

CrazyFrogDingDing · 03/08/2023 13:10

It wouldn't bother me. I would still go and visit while he did his thing with his dad.
Then I'd visit the place that I wanted to go to at a later date. Hopefully while he was there with his dad he would have scouted the best bars and eateries for my visit.

Hannahsbananas · 03/08/2023 13:38

CurlewKate · 03/08/2023 12:58

It's a bit shit if he knew the Glasgow weekend dates before he booked the trip with his dad. And surely anyway it's easier to rearrange a trip with one person than a whole family?

Not a reason in the world to rearrange anything.

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