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Original poster

Changing name/title after marriage

29 replies

TwoPots13Pans · 02/08/2023 22:31

So many questions!
I'm from a foreign country where people don't change their name after getting married. Because of this it's very difficult for me to legally change my name but I was thinking of just using it socially, e.g. anytime it's not a legal form. Does anybody else do this?
Also if my legal name is still the same should I use Ms. or Mrs?

Btw I know people will comment asking me why I care so much about using his name but the truth is I don't even have a surname! Our 'surnames' are patronyms, in our original language my full name is 'TwoPots daughter of TwoPotsDad'sFirstName'.

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoPots13Pans · 03/08/2023 16:47

*won't have a British passport I mean.
I have my own country passport of course

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoPots13Pans · 03/08/2023 17:01

MonsterCalling · 03/08/2023 08:14

Sure, but if you knocked off the sarcasm for a minute you would note that OP is from a patronymic naming culture, so it would be completely illogical for her to give her children her current surname.

She could of course give her children a matronymic surname or additional middle name if she wishes.

Show quote history

Thank you for actually reading my post!

@GCWorkNightmare @LividHot If I had an official surname I would actually keep it and give both to my children. Like the Spanish do. But hyphenated. This may be outing but my 'surname' is not even my father's FIRST name, it's both his given names!

So say my father's full name is Adrian Mark son of Thomas. My full name is TwoPots Adrian Mark. Which sounds really odd.

Keeping it preserves none of my wider heritage. It's just my dad's name. There's no long history behind it. I did consider using our 'clan' (I don't know what's called in English!) name as my surname. But unlike just showing a marriage certificate to prove that I've taken my husband's name that would be a lot more complicated and I would have to 'officially' change my name.

My husband couldn't care less btw. He would happily take my surname if I wished, or a combination. But then he would just have his FIL's first name as his surname!

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoPots13Pans · 03/08/2023 17:05

BringOnSummerHolidays · 03/08/2023 09:21

I’m also from a culture that do not change name. I kept mine and use it at work. I don’t mind being called Mrs Childrenname because that’s what schools usually do. I am sure you can call yourself whatever you like socially. As in telling what others should call you as, on social media etc.

That makes sense, thanks.
I don't have my real name on any social media, except for maybe LinkedIn.
In terms of professional reputation I suppose there's no law that says I should use my 'passport' name so I could use my married name.
I don't have anything 'published' yet so I'm not going to subsume previous professional achievements using my old name.

OP posts:
ELHAMsmum · 26/09/2023 17:22

What about applying for carers allowance I'm married but haven't changed my name on anything not even my benefits so do they need to know I'm married?

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