Changing name/title after marriage

[TwoPots13Pans]

So many questions!
I'm from a foreign country where people don't change their name after getting married. Because of this it's very difficult for me to legally change my name but I was thinking of just using it socially, e.g. anytime it's not a legal form. Does anybody else do this?
Also if my legal name is still the same should I use Ms. or Mrs?

Btw I know people will comment asking me why I care so much about using his name but the truth is I don't even have a surname! Our 'surnames' are patronyms, in our original language my full name is 'TwoPots daughter of TwoPotsDad'sFirstName'.

I kept my name. I use Ms. My dd has my name so at least she will be able to start the tradition of inheriting a woman's name.

She uses Ms already (still a teenager) and is adamant she will keep her name if/when she marries.

I believe some woman use their husband's name socially. Pretty easy to do.

My friend hasn't legally changed her name (in passport and bank acct etc) but she calls herself Mrs X and only books holidays under her maiden name now.

If you have a uk bank acct and passport you can take a copy of your wedding certificate to change your name I believe.

Can she do that? Do they not check that her name matches travel documents?

I can change my name in the UK the problem is I cannot do it in my home country without going to court. Maybe when I am a British citizen but not now.

I did wonder whether I could change my name 'in Britain' so things like driving license, bank statements etc and just keep my maiden name on my passport. But I don't want to cause any immigration confusion.

Does socially mean restaurant bookings and such?
What about at work?
I have been trying to get my 'display name' changed but work are claiming they cannot do that it has to be the same as my legal name. Personally I think they just CBA as other people have done it before

As long as your passport matches any tickets then you’re fine. You can use your married name if you want to otherwise.

i never changed my name on marriage (or my title as I have a phd). So I use my original name on everything, especially at work.

I don't object if the kids school or a restaurant want to call me Mrs DHname, but that doesn't really matter.

Absolutely no need for anyone to change name or title on marriage. Whole thing befuzzles me.

In the U.K. it is legal (and common) to use your married and maiden names interchangeably. If you ever need to prove that both names are you, then your marriage certificate does that.

When I first married, I changed my passport to my married name (pre-marriage, so I could book honeymoon as Mr and Mrs X and travel under my new married name) but left my driving licence (and insurance) in my maiden name so that I had ID for both names. I had bank accounts in both names. I stayed as my maiden name at work.

A long time down the line, my driving licence (and insurance - important that they're the same name) and work are now in my married name. I still have bank accounts in both names.

It is no hassle at all using two names for different things. If I need to provide ID for a maiden name bank account, then I now use married name passport/driving licence, plus marriage certificate. Nobody has ever raised an eyebrow at this.

It is very common to use a married name socially without changing anything legally.

If you have DC you may want to consider giving them your maiden name as an additional middle name (even though this probably won’t make grammatical sense in your native language) as this can be helpful when travelling.

I use a mix. I didn't legally change my name after marriage. Randomly the bank did though to my name - husbands name. I use that for school stuff for kids. I use his name when it'll help. Otherwise I use mine.

or (shock, horror) give DC your surname, what with you being the one growing them and all.

While 99.99% of men just carry on as before.

I haven’t changed my name but I do put Mrs on forms etc. titles are choice, not legally recognised, so you can use whatever. If you’re going to change your name formally it’s best to do everything,

I know one woman who uses her birth name, her married name or a double barrelled version of them interchangeably. How she remembers which paperwork has which name i don't know!

My mum noticed recently that her library card is in her old married name and was registered at our old house. She got married and moved 20 years ago. Shows how often she visits the library!

You don’t have to change your name.

I use my married name in the UK and all my documents and accounts are in that name. But, my passport and original ID is in my maiden name. It's difficult for me to change my name overseas and submitting the paperwork. Also, if I named changed getting passport renewed would be even more of faff than it already is.

I just have to produce my uk marriage certificate with any other form of ID, usually my passport and everything has been fine. I keep a certified copy of my marriage certificate on me at all times folded up In my purse.

I've not had any issues at all and our children carry Hs surname. We registered the births I just produce my marriage cert and all is good.

Been doing this for 19 years now.

Sure, but if you knocked off the sarcasm for a minute you would note that OP is from a patronymic naming culture, so it would be completely illogical for her to give her children her current surname.

She could of course give her children a matronymic surname or additional middle name if she wishes.

How do you change culture by toeing the line?

I kept my name and remained Ms when I got married for the 2nd time last year.

For my first marriage I did change my name. When the marriage ended, I changed my name by deed poll to my mother's maiden name as I preferred it to my own maiden name.

Ironically, my mother kept my father's name when she divorced him, even after she remarried.

So I have my mother's maiden name and she has mine.

Now my husband has one name, I have another and my teens have their dad's name. It has been interesting at the airport on occasions so we always bring documentation with evidence of who we are all.

But in this day and age I think you can do what you like in this respect.

I’m also from a culture that do not change name. I kept mine and use it at work. I don’t mind being called Mrs Childrenname because that’s what schools usually do. I am sure you can call yourself whatever you like socially. As in telling what others should call you as, on social media etc.

The day blokes are changing their own names on marriage routinely is the day this stops being an antiquated patriarchal system of oppression.

Don’t do it.

Source: two failed marriages, three surnames and a huge relief I kept my chosen (third) name rather than take a fourth. Kid is double-barrelled and while it’s clunky it’s FAIR.

For title, I have a PhD but I get all variations of Ms, Miss and Mrs. I can’t be bothered correcting people, so I answer to all.

“She could of course give her children a matronymic surname or additional middle name if she wishes.”

Ironically, my mother kept my father's name when she divorced him, even after she remarried.

It’s only ironic if you believe women never own their own names.

Thanks for your helpful answer - so as long as have proof of ID for both names it will be fine, from what you say.
My home country has a national identity card and that's the source of truth, your name has to match that. I suppose the UK doesn't have anything like that. Maybe a passport, but I'm not a British citizen so I won't have one.