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Original poster

Anyone else sick of kids excelling at sport?

134 replies

LaMaG · 29/07/2023 11:42

My DS15 is quite talented at a particular sport and much as I support him I am sick to death at the extent it has taken over our lives. He plays locally but also for a county team so almost every weekend is spent travelling hours away, they never provide team buses. Dh goes to all the matches and no one ever car pools. DS was young when this kicked off and I had babies at home so DH got very involved and I stepped back. But I bring him to training twice a week for this and then he still has club level training and another sport too. He does gym work every day he doesn't have training so I'm constantly working my life around it, I can't even do an evening class. It affects meal times too. I feel guilty for complaining as some people are so passionate about this, I have a colleague who is quite in awe of it and many others tell us how proud we must be. DH says I just don't get it as I don't follow sport but I am proud I just resent how it becomes our whole lives. Its also dealing with the constant drama of losing and anger if he is left on the bench etc. Dh is worse than DS! There is a constant risk he will get dropped and every thing is analysed and obsessed about. Everyone was shouting this morning cos a training top went missing, it's always drama drama drama. Any other frustrated sports mums out there who understand?

OP posts:
user1477391263 · 29/07/2023 21:33

My experience is that parents who have got suckered into this tend to justify it by saying things like “Yes, well, it costs thousands of pounds a year, but at least it means my child isn’t staring at screens for hours on end every evening!!”

Which ignores the fact that they could just do what I do, ie put appropriate limits on screen time use (passwords, taking away phones) and enforce the rules, which also works just fine and costs 0 pounds a year.

caringcarer · 29/07/2023 21:38

My Foster son is obsessive about cricket. He trains 3 times a week then there is swim training twice a week to keep his fitness level up. He plays club games on Saturdays and 17 cricket one evening a week.plus county games and county training. We love that he enjoys it so.much and is so talented. I drive him to training and matches and DH comes too on weekends. We take a picnic and make the best of supporting his team. I sometimes collect a couple of his teammates and drive them too. I do the scoring as I'm there anyway. He does other sports too every week like karate and Crav Magar but cricket is his love and obsession.

Thisismynewusername1 · 29/07/2023 21:41

The training, competitions and day to day stuff is a doddle compared to the politics in team GB.

I’m sick of the favouritism, the control, the holding funding over their heads, ignoring kids/coaches they don’t like, the whole arrogance of middle aged men who think they can predict the future and know which 12 year olds are going to make pro, even over junior international athletes.
picking who they think will get the results, not who is getting the results.

i swear lottery funding has done a lot of harm to sport in this country.

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caringcarer · 29/07/2023 21:42

I do get frustrated we can't seem to get a holiday in the summer because cricket is a short season but DFS is going to Dubai to play cricket over Oct half term and DH and I are finally getting a romantic cruise break. So looking forward to it. His coach is apparently disappointed I won't be going as he says I'm good around the excitable players calming them and scoring.

ActDottie · 29/07/2023 21:43

My brother and I did a sport like this as kids, made GB junior team etc. lots of weekends away, my dad despite working a busy long hours job though was so dedicated to taking us each week etc. he really was super dad! I personally think it’s sad you can’t recognise how amazing all this is for your son.

TweetyMcTweetFace · 29/07/2023 21:53

My brothers were both professional rugby players, one an international.

My childhood was spent in rugby clubs all over the place. I started to read the Sunday Times, Inc all the supplements from cover to cover each Sunday in the car when they were playing. I learned loads so it paid off.

Plus, my geography of the UK is excellent as we went everywhere once they started to rise through the county/north/south/international levels.

It completely takes over. The focus and dedication required is unbelievable. Kind of hope my child isn't as sporty as we were as a family! (He isn't going to play rugby that's for sure!!)

XelaM · 29/07/2023 21:58

ladyvivienne · 29/07/2023 19:51

It's really not that bad. Try GB level at age 10 and all that that encompasses.

Gymnastics your kid is training 15 hours a week by the age of 6 - rising to 28+hours by age 10/11. Usually at a club that isn't particularly local to you if you want the 'best' for your child so you're either dropping and staying for 5 hour shifts, or dropping and recollecting a few hours later. Comps and/or grades every couple of months lasting bloody hours. Plus the shitty internal culture of that sport.

You seem to be doing a lot for only county standard at age 15? Is it really worth it? Sorry to sound horrid, but if he was 'quite talented' he'd be on a national team by now having done it since he was very young and then it could be worth it (still probably wouldn't be, barely anyone 'makes it' ) This sounds more like a hobby he has. I'd ask him to cut back a bit as it's obviously affecting family life for really not much point!

That's a very catty post. It totally depends on the sport! Gymnastics and figure skating are the only sports that pick off talent pre-puberty.

Team sports are completely different. For example, a footballer who is super talented at the age of 10 is absolutely not guaranteed to make the Premier League unless he can show that talent at 16-18.

Neverseenbefore · 29/07/2023 22:02

My DD was into dance. She trained several days a week from age 11 and more from age 14. But she could get herself to dance class and back, as it was local. She did become a professional ballet dancer in a national company, so in that sense it was worth it. But it was hard on us all. Dance is a very competitive world, and not particularly pleasant.

AliceMcK · 29/07/2023 22:10

ElizabethBest · 29/07/2023 21:14

YANBU. I used to nanny for a girl who was a junior competitive swimmer. I used to pick her up at 5am 3 days a week, to get her in the pool for 5:30am. She’d train until 7am, eat a packed breakfast I’d made her the night before that had to be tediously nutritionally balanced, drop her at school then go to my day job. 4 nights a week after work I’d pick her up from school at 6pm (fancy private school, she did prep there), she’d eat a snack I made the night before in my car on the way to the pool then she’d be back in the water at 6:45pm for 2 hours. Dinner would again be eaten in my car on the way back and I’d drop her home at around 9:30pm. Her mum and dad did the weekends. She was TWELVE. By the time training finished at night she was so tired I had to help her get dressed. Her parents paid me well, covered the petrol, food shopping for her meals, and she was the loveliest little girl but I have to admit I rejoiced when she quit at 15, and it could all stop. It’s a shame - watching her swim was like watching lightning. But it’s just not sustainable for any family unless you can afford a nanny without severely straining the family dynamic, and it’s so much pressure on the child!

This makes me so sad, that poor child. There should be limits on how much children should be forced to train.

Lovetoridemybicycle · 29/07/2023 22:32

I have a 17 yr old national junior champion. 6 days a week training, but strict rest days and gentle recovery days. It's tough but we are determined that the younger sibling is not adversely affected. This means us splitting and going in opposite directions a lot but it wouldn't be fair otherwise. It takes a lot of planning and organisation but the sport makes her so happy.
When we do get time all together, we make a point of doing silly things together. It seems to work but sometimes I do wish we weren't so busy all the time.

MyOtherCarisAFerrari · 29/07/2023 22:35

Thisismynewusername1 · 29/07/2023 21:41

The training, competitions and day to day stuff is a doddle compared to the politics in team GB.

I’m sick of the favouritism, the control, the holding funding over their heads, ignoring kids/coaches they don’t like, the whole arrogance of middle aged men who think they can predict the future and know which 12 year olds are going to make pro, even over junior international athletes.
picking who they think will get the results, not who is getting the results.

i swear lottery funding has done a lot of harm to sport in this country.

Unrelated but I agree.
I was mattress shopping today and got really cross upon seeing the Team GB logo !
https://www.dreams.co.uk/the-dream-team-range/all

I liked some of those but like hell am I supporting them. No way. Neither mattress salesmen nor DH understood my annoyance but then again they're both the furthest thing from athletes anyway.

The Dream Team Range | Brands | Dreams

Proud to be the Official Sleep Partner of Team GB and ParalympicsGB

https://www.dreams.co.uk/the-dream-team-range/all

londonmummy1966 · 29/07/2023 22:44

On another level DS is disappointed his siblings have no interest, its often entire families on the sideline and we are the exception.

I have to say that your DS sounds pretty bratty - tell him that if he continues complaining he'll be expected to spend 2 out of 3 weekends supporting his siblings to demonstrate commitment to their interests for a change. My not so D brother was a Cathedral chorister and I spent my lie being dragged around behind him being told what a musical genius he was and yet when my county youth orchestra had a concert often none of my family turned up and certainly not DB as he needed a break from music.....

londonmummy1966 · 29/07/2023 22:46

Actually the worst of all were the choristers, every single weekend, Easter and Christmas was completely taken over by singing.

My life for years - and as a girl I was an inferior being who was not worthy to sing....

mellicauli · 29/07/2023 22:57

I hear you. Even 2 pretty average sports kids can ruin most weekends of the year.

Could you get him an ebike for going up that hill? (I think 14 is min age - expensive I know..)

Squirrelsnut · 29/07/2023 22:59

My friend has a very sporty child and I've always been secretly glad (while pleased for him) that I didn't because it takes up sooo much of their free family time. Plus the sibling isn't sporty and they must feel it sometimes.

Alexandra2001 · 29/07/2023 23:04

My DD did running and cycling to national level, i loved supporting her.

why have kids if your so fucking miserable at their success? i guess you'd rather moan about them stuck in their rooms gaming all night...

She still runs competitively, no Laura Muir but its given her an inner strength that she wouldn't otherwise have.

user1477391263 · 29/07/2023 23:45

Alexandra2001 · 29/07/2023 23:04

My DD did running and cycling to national level, i loved supporting her.

why have kids if your so fucking miserable at their success? i guess you'd rather moan about them stuck in their rooms gaming all night...

She still runs competitively, no Laura Muir but its given her an inner strength that she wouldn't otherwise have.

Oh look, perfect example of what I mentioned in my previous post (with some swearing thrown in for good measure).

mastertomsmum · 29/07/2023 23:51

My only concern is where it leads. Is it compatible with necessary academic progress? Does it prepare them for when the sport is done and real life begins?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2023 00:07

XelaM · 29/07/2023 12:19

Yes! My daughter dreams of a show jumping career and her (and my life) revolve around the livery yard where she spends every day (at the detriment to everything else especially school). She can never go away of holiday like a normal person because there are always weekend shows or training that we would miss and the ponies have to be kept fit and I'm risking the wrath of her coach. Weekends/holidays and weekday evenings are always taken up by it and it always involves me driving and paying obscene amounts of money for the whole privilege and the costs just get more obscene as time goes on. I am very proud of her dedication to the sport and resilience, but it completely takes over your life. This summer we had to cut a trip short by half because she had to be back for training/a show.

Is she an only child?

XelaM · 30/07/2023 00:17

SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2023 00:07

Is she an only child?

Show quote history

Yes. No way could I afford it for two. If I ever have a second they'll be going to state school and running for free 😂

XelaM · 30/07/2023 00:19

Sorry, should have said that I'm also paying for her school in addition to the ponies 🙈I could never afford it for two kids

SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2023 00:22

XelaM · 30/07/2023 00:19

Sorry, should have said that I'm also paying for her school in addition to the ponies 🙈I could never afford it for two kids

I was just wondering if there was a sibling at home ripping of the heads of My Little Ponies, hungry and alone 😂😂

XelaM · 30/07/2023 00:29

primoseyellow · 29/07/2023 19:42

@XelaM Wow, your daughter must be very good. Where do you find ponies from that can compete at that level?

One is ours (found via her instructor) and the second pony doesn't belong to us but my daughter was offered to ride/compete on it, as it's a young pony "with potential" and belongs to a child who is scared of it. When buying I would only buy on recommendation from someone knowledgeable you trust (instructor/yard owner) but that's because I'm not horsey myself so have no clue 😂

XelaM · 30/07/2023 00:31

SleepingStandingUp · 30/07/2023 00:22

I was just wondering if there was a sibling at home ripping of the heads of My Little Ponies, hungry and alone 😂😂

Show quote history

😂 Haha

Crumbcatcher · 30/07/2023 00:33

I like taking my DC to their things, it reminds me of everything my mum did for me. She let me try all sorts of hobbies, drove me all over the place. I don't mind if my DC don't do any of their clubs professionally, they get a lot more out of it than just the sport.

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