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Original poster

What would you expect a 16 year old to pay for?

73 replies

PabloFlowerface · 28/07/2023 17:29

My 16 year old has just got a job which will be paying him £550 a month.

I currently pay ..

£100 pocket money a month
£70 gym a month
£30 contacts lenses a month
£80 college lunches / drinks a month

Plus of course his clothes and all the other bits and pieces they need and want at this age.

I can afford this and we are comfortable but I do 'notice' it. I do feel it sometimes!

So .. what would be reasonable for him to take over? I don't want to be 'mean' but I also don't want to create a situation where he has more disposable income than me.

I suppose I'm saying I want him to start slowly finding his way with all of this and to begin budgeting etc

I'm thinking of still paying for his contacts lenses and his clothes (but he can now pick up the cost of the expensive football shirts he likes!) and he can now pay for his gym membership and his treat food (to be clear, we always have loads of food he could take to college at home so buying stuff out is a bit of a luxury)

Anyway.. thoughts? What would you do if this was you?

OP posts:
Original poster
PabloFlowerface · 28/07/2023 17:51

@Augustus40 I know, it's really high. I could make it a bit cheaper by signing him up for a full year but I don't want to do that because he may stop going and then I'm tied in to the contract

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 28/07/2023 17:53

When mine got part time jobs alongside their studies, I didn't stop anything I already paid for, or provided for them. If you do that, it could disincentivise them from working.
If you stop the pocket money, for example, then the hours he works are only increasing his income by £450. If you stop the gym as well, then the hours he works would only gain him £380pm. Is it then worth him doing the work?

If the motivation to work is the money, then decreasing what he already has doesn't make sense. I was happy to give mine pocket money until the end of the school year they turned 18.

That said, my dc never had anything like that amount of pocket money, and I sure as heck would never have been paying out £70pm for gym membership.

Original poster
PabloFlowerface · 28/07/2023 18:13

@UsingChangeofName I think he will be able to cope!

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 28/07/2023 18:18

£25 / week pocket money isn't a ridiculous amount for a 16yo.

I'd stop the pocket money and digest 50% each on gym, carton paying the rest.

isitaline97 · 28/07/2023 18:24

UsingChangeofName · 28/07/2023 17:53

When mine got part time jobs alongside their studies, I didn't stop anything I already paid for, or provided for them. If you do that, it could disincentivise them from working.
If you stop the pocket money, for example, then the hours he works are only increasing his income by £450. If you stop the gym as well, then the hours he works would only gain him £380pm. Is it then worth him doing the work?

If the motivation to work is the money, then decreasing what he already has doesn't make sense. I was happy to give mine pocket money until the end of the school year they turned 18.

That said, my dc never had anything like that amount of pocket money, and I sure as heck would never have been paying out £70pm for gym membership.

Maybe it will make him prioritise his spending though? £70 on a gym is extortionate, must be a posh gym 😂.

I get where you are coming from though. Then again if it was me I would make sure he knows he wouldn't be getting his pocket money back if he quit his job just because he'd rather get handouts from parents! 😂

PTSDBarbiegirl · 28/07/2023 18:27

Pocket money & gym. I'd class the rest as parenting 'fees'. If I was struggling for money I'd only provide meals, lunches at work & all the utilities, mortgage and bills.

fartfacenotfatface · 28/07/2023 18:29

From the list - gym and pocket money.

Contact lenses and college lunches are essentials. Maybe for the lunches I'd reduce the payment to whatever the basic rate is for a standard main meal and given them the option to make a packed lunch (with food supplied from the household budget) or pay the difference if they want to spend more on lunch.

Thisismynewusername1 · 28/07/2023 18:30

I don’t think £70/month is extortionate!

paying for your kids hobbies is normal. Mine is in a swim club, I pay way more than £70. The other used to do singing/dancing, also way more than £70! Most 16 year olds do some sort of activity?

eldest earned about £400/month.

I paid for swimming, phone, lenses, braces, all major expenses.

she paid for all her travel, lunches etc at college. Clothes, basically anything she bought when I wasn’t with her.

DelphiniumBlue · 28/07/2023 18:33

If he's still at school, then essential clothing should probably be covered by you, eg 1 pair of boots, 1 pair of trainers, a waterproof jacket, a couple of pairs of jeans. Not party clothes, extras, branded/expensive gear.
I wouldn't pay £70 pm gym fees for myself, let alone a child, unless it's something you feel keeps him out of trouble! If he's going several times a week then maybe it's worth it, if you can afford it?
School lunch should be your shout, up to a pre-agreed limit, but he can take a water bottle and cover his own extras . Maybe he can take a packed lunch sometimes? Mine never would, they would have rather starved than produce a lunch from home, and there was nowhere to store it during the day anyway.
I'd stop or reduce the pocket money, and let him pay for his own outings.

gingerguineapig · 28/07/2023 18:35

£100 pocket money is a lot but it feels like punishing him for working if you take it away. Maybe you could say you will put it in savings for him instead?

I'd say he can pay for his own gym membership though. He might find something cheaper if he looks around (I do an outdoor fitness class which is £30 a month for unlimited sessions). £70 is silly money.

isitaline97 · 28/07/2023 18:36

Thisismynewusername1 · 28/07/2023 18:30

I don’t think £70/month is extortionate!

paying for your kids hobbies is normal. Mine is in a swim club, I pay way more than £70. The other used to do singing/dancing, also way more than £70! Most 16 year olds do some sort of activity?

eldest earned about £400/month.

I paid for swimming, phone, lenses, braces, all major expenses.

she paid for all her travel, lunches etc at college. Clothes, basically anything she bought when I wasn’t with her.

It is for a gym fee in my opinion! The 24hr Jetts gym near me is £16 a month including classes! Most other gyms hover at around £20-£30. I'd expect to pay £70 a month for a decent health club maybe with spa etc, I'm up north maybe it's cheaper here? (Although I'm not sure of OPs location!) obviously other things like swim lessons, dance clubs, gymnastics clubs get pricey but not a gym membership from my experience anyway 😂

caringcarer · 28/07/2023 18:44

I'd stop paying him pocket money but continue with the bus pass, contact lenses, clothing (although he could buy his own football tops, unless it's part of birthday or Xmas gifts), gym membership and lunches whilst he is still at college. He's done well to gain a part time job at 16, but it's a bit of a disincentive to earn what you think will be extra money for yourself if you suddenly find the financial support you used to get is taken away and you are not much better off for working, particularly as he wants to save up for driving lessons. He's only 16, not 18. If he works a few extra hours next year you could look at asking him to pay his own lunches but I'm assuming you do still get child benefits for him so I'd pay his lunches out of that. In my view when he leaves education is the time he should be paying for himself.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/07/2023 18:46

Your Ds sounds very lucky!

£70 a month gym 😳

My dd is 17yo and gets £40 a month, I pay for essentials such as basic food, clothes and toiletries. She gets a bursary for travel and college related costs.

She has a PT job and pays for everything else.

I'm a single parent and there's no chance of giving her more financial support sadly.

AliMonkey · 28/07/2023 18:48

At 16, we got DD to pay for "non essential clothes", toiletries, gifts, meals/days out with friends. The first two were because she was starting to get quite expensive tastes in clothes and toiletries and wanted her to have to think about whether they were worth it and budget if necessary

Mummyneedsacoffee · 28/07/2023 18:52

We currently pay for:
gym
glasses/contacts
£100 per month pocket money
any essentials (underwear, trainers, basic clothes etc) anything they WANT like expensive trainers or expensive clothes etc comes out of their wages and/or pocket money.

if they want extra lunches (Ie. Not made lunch at home where plenty is available ) that’s on them.

🙂

Popfan · 28/07/2023 19:35

I also agree if you stop paying for things he already gets such as the pocket money and gym he's going to wonder what the point of the job is. I get totally where you are coming from but a teenager won't see it like that. Tricky one!

strongcupofTea · 28/07/2023 19:39

Why are you giving him £100 a month pocket money? And why are paying for a mega expensive gym???

Stop giving him pocket money and gym membership. That should be on him.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 28/07/2023 19:39

My parents stopped pocket money when I got a job and I thought that was fair enough, they still paid for contacts/glasses till I was 18 and got a full time(ish) job as the NHS glasses didn't get thinned down so they were still reasonably expensive. They also bought basic clothing till I was 18 and I bough going out/fashion stuff I wanted.

strongcupofTea · 28/07/2023 19:40

PabloFlowerface · 28/07/2023 17:33

@GoodVibesHere this is just a supermarket job for 12 hours a week

He's in full time education

That's £11.40 an hour which supermarket is it ?

strongcupofTea · 28/07/2023 19:43

PabloFlowerface · 28/07/2023 17:38

@bagforlifeamnesty he's not spoilt I promise! But what he is is very fortunate and lucky that we are able to provide so much for him.

He realises he's fortunate and he's grateful for all the things he has.

But now that he has his first job, I'm just considering what he can now pay for

Oh he is spoilt OP. £100 a month pocket money and £70 fancy luxury gym membership and £30 on contact lenses. He's well spoilt.
My 17 year old hasn't had pocket money since she left school and she has to make her own packed much for college and pay for her own £15 a month gym membership and her own contact lenses (£9.99pm subscription)

Jackonary · 28/07/2023 19:53

I agree a bit about the disincentive problem. I think I would pay for contact lenses and the gym and keep giving him the £100 but that would be his clothing and college allowance (so he would need to top up himself if he wants to eat out every lunchtime or by expensive clothes). I would also plan to let him pay for his own driving lessons (unless you have already paid for an older sibling).

fireflyloo · 28/07/2023 19:58

I'd stop the pocket money, or save it for him. £70 for a gym is extortionate for a 16 year old.

fireflyloo · 28/07/2023 19:59

Also I'd try and encourage him to save 50% of his salary.

AliceMcK · 28/07/2023 20:06

I agree pocket money and gym are now his responsibility and I’d maybe cut back on lunches, if he wants extra treats he can pay himself.

MargaretThursday · 28/07/2023 20:07

Would you have kept giving him pocket money and paying for everything if he hadn't got a job?
Are you involved in getting him there/back from the job?

If you aren't doing anything towards the job, and if you would have continued paying for everything if he hadn't got a job, it seems a little mean to penalise him for getting a job.

If he's expecting lifts, then I think it's fair to stop the pocket money for petrol/time though.