Normalising small homes

[lorieats99]

I feel like you just see those big 4-5 bedroom homes on Instagram, and it’s often young-ish people in their 20s or 30s in them. I think that will be a thing of the past soon with rising costs. We rent a small-ish 2 bed new build and it’s easy to begin to feel inadequate about it! When guests come over there isn’t really anywhere for them to sit, as we just have one sofa. Two rooms upstairs, two rooms downstairs, downstairs WC and upstairs bathroom. Lovely spacious garden.

It feels like our home, I’d like a 3 bed in an ideal world but I don’t think that’s happening for us for realistically quite a while. Despite both being on average incomes we will probably be in our 40s before we achieve our forever home status. We are TTC soon, we have a small bedroom for the baby but we would have no room for a playroom or anything like that & I’m wondering how much this matters. I know in some parts of Europe people raise families in flats and apartments, and it’s very normal over there!

Does anyone else have a small home?

I grew up in a 'small' home. It was a 3 bedroom (2 bed and a box) built in the 1030s. I was one of 7 kids that were brought up in that house.

We shared bedrooms (of course) and for a while Mum and Dad had bunks in the boxroom. Eldest was 15 years older than youngest.

I started in the cot in my parents room, then went into bunks in the boxroom with my elder sister, then my younger sister went in there with the elder and I went into a big bedroom with 3 brothers (2 bunks). As older ones left there was increasingly more room BUT we managed. Downstairs we had a dining room (homework room), a kitchen and a sitting room (lounge).

It's great if kids can have their own rooms but it is not essential.

My kids had their own rooms - but one was in a 6ft x 8ft box room.

Maybe there was a 'golden age' where each child had a decent sized bedroom to themselves - but it certainly didn't apply to all children. it isn't necessary for a healthy and happy life AND as the housing situation changes, and is now, maybe people are going to have to accept that a small home (as many already have) is perfectly ok and it is the love, affection and attention within the home is more important than how big it is.

(My ex grew up in a large 3 bed terrace, they had 10 kids and all grew up fine)

I love my small house. It means I don't have rooms for guests.

The issue is that the TV & social media portray everyone with spacious houses, large affluently furnished sitting rooms etc. but I'm not sure that's the norm

Exactly, one of my dc is extremely happy in their 3 bed Victorian semi but you'd struggle to get a film crew in her living room. I can't remember the dimensions but it's big enough for two sofas and a tv and that's about it.

We live in a typical Victorian terrace so even though we now have 4.5/5 beds (one is a single we use as an office) thanks to a loft conversion there isn’t a great deal of living space. So no playroom, no utility room, no garage, no shed because the ‘garden’ is a tiny paved square, not a single non kitchen cupboard downstairs- the only storage is up in the eaves and is accessible only by moving DD’s bed and the hoover has to live in a wardrobe in the spare room. We love it though, the house is in quite a nice part of London so it’s definitely a choice we’re making to live as we do. I genuinely don’t know how people manage the upkeep of big houses and gardens!

I’ve always through that if I could build my own house I would like a lot of land, and decent sized rooms, but I’d still have only two bedrooms, with one craft room / office. I wouldn’t want a huge house, just lots of land and bigger rooms.

Remember Instagram isn't real life! At most it's the very best bits of someone's life that they want to show off. If all 20 somethings could afford 4/5 bedroom homes nobody would bother posting about them

The problem is right there in your OP - equating 'small homes' to 'flats and apartments'.
I will never understand the British obsession with landed property, gardens in particular. Personally I wouldn't buy a flat here to live, but that is because they are seen as such 'second class' options that protections for leaseholders aren't as stringent as the other countries.
But seriously, look at the DIY thread and almost every post has people drooling over gardens for 'kids to play in', to 'sit in' etc etc. In actual fact the weather is too grim most of the time to do anything in it. You can let dogs and cats out to toilet. That's it, I suppose.

In other countries flats are serious family homes. 2-3 story, 3 beds, indoor stairs, big kitchen. The only difference is they aren't on land. Now I appreciate that of course there is the difficulty of somewhat 'communal' living but well designed flats are relatively soundproof and under good management/regulation issues like cladding and spiralling maintenance fees should be avoidable.

Where's the land to build of this going to come from on a small island? In places people want to live in obviously.

But it depends on where the house is, it’s value.
Some 4 bedroom houses are in cheap area, maybe high unemployment, anti social behaviour.
Some 2 bedroom houses are worth a million pounds and in posh areas.

It’s not about the size of the house it’s the location and value of the house.

I grew up in a 'small' home. It was a 3 bedroom (2 bed and a box) built in the 1030s

Dirt floor, no glass in the windows and a thatched roof?

It must have been hard.

Mine is 75sqm, not sure how that compares. 2 bed apartment
I don't feel like a grownup, which sounds ridiculous but inviting someone to your house feels like an adult but when I have people invited over I don't feel like it's an "adult" place to live

... and then the bloody French came along 😡

The vast majority of people live in small homes. Poor people out number rich people by a ton.
However Instagram users like to see something different, interesting and glamorous that's the only reason "big house accounts" are popular. Don't take anything on insta to heart, small homes already are the norm

OP the bonus of your house and lack of seating is fab! Limited guests!

i grew up in a 3 bed terrace. Loved it and it was kinda cosy. Its was home and all my friends lived in similar homes. Huge quarrying area.

still live around the place but in a small holding. Very old Detached 4 bed quarry cottage. We extended it as we liked and to what the planning allowed us to. Its not huge but a bedroom each for the kids, kitchen with small table (not used though) and a living room/dining.

knocking down walls weren’t an option! Over a meter thick

I grew up in a flat and then a 70 sqm 2 bed house. I was an only child. I’m in my late 30s and i’m finally living in a house with two bathrooms. Revolutionary. I never noticed it being too small- I had my own room & in the living room we did family stuff. Generally meant I cycled off to a friends rather than the other way round which effectively gave my parents free teenage childcare!

Oh and Instagram sells you something that isn’t real. Most on credit, staged and lacking colour and life,

TV and social media isn't exactly realistic though is it? It's supposed to be aspirational.

Also they might be American, they have massive houses there, so much more space.

Agree with the European flats comment too, we live in one and it's really spacious.

I have a 2 bed flat and would probably be having a baby in it. I am aiming to upsize to a bigger flat but given that mortgage interest rates are higher now it's probably best to accumulate more equity. I don't believe in overstretching so it would probably still be a flat in our area of London.

My parents are in their 60s and are quite happy. You have a living room! You can have people round. Life isn’t worth waiting for something like that to change. We never had people round for sit down dinner except family as you can barely fit in the kitchen but instead had a buffet where you ate in the living room. Kids sat on the floor. Much less stress on catering too.

So many people live in flats - some 1 bed flats - for their entire lives. These people have parties!

@purpletrees16 I know, it's ridiculous and I don't know why I get that feeling!
Every time my dad comes over he always says "you keep the place so lovely"

I think it's because I lived in halls at uni for so long, and the entrance area reminds me of that

I live in a small two bed but it’s just me and my child, it seems large to us! We have a large garden, lounge and a kitchen diner. My kid has the largest bedroom as they have lots of toys, that stops them spreading all over the house :) works for us!

Google Marie kondo. We put far too much crap in our houses, the less clutter we have the more spacious rooms feel

Currently in our mortgages 2 bed 1970s mid terrace. It's the same size as a three bed new build mid terrace!

We love our home. We chose the area over the size of the home (would want the third bedroom as guest room/wfh office and a drive way) the area was invaluable over lockdown- live 5 minute walk to the beach, less than a minute walk to huge green and play parks and live walking distance to small airport and a nature reserve.

The walls are thicker than the cheaper 3 bed council homes that are cheaper so we don't hear our neighbours. We also have wonderful neighbours. To upgrade we would be paying £100k more and we would rather have the financial freedom (once it's paid off) than a huge house.

We have done various bits to make space saving and quality of life improvements such as boxing in the stairs and putting in build ins for the coats and shoes with a door leading to the lounge so it's separated from upstairs, a downstairs bathroom with a mini pantry etc. I live in an area where my friends either have big 4 bed houses but can't afford to go out much with their kids or they rent and pay the same if not more than mortgage on the 4 bed houses so it's the same issue.

I want to know what young people in their 20s and 30s you follow that have their own large homes 😂 I fit the age profile, out of all of my friends (different groups from school to college to workmates), 1 owns a tiny house, 3 own an average size house, 3 are renting and the vast majority are living at home....

My niece and her husband have bought this, it’s tiny.

I don’t know many people with a large house AND a happy marriage tbh
There’s no causal link there…