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Original poster

Normalising small homes

261 replies

lorieats99 · 27/07/2023 19:42

I feel like you just see those big 4-5 bedroom homes on Instagram, and it’s often young-ish people in their 20s or 30s in them. I think that will be a thing of the past soon with rising costs. We rent a small-ish 2 bed new build and it’s easy to begin to feel inadequate about it! When guests come over there isn’t really anywhere for them to sit, as we just have one sofa. Two rooms upstairs, two rooms downstairs, downstairs WC and upstairs bathroom. Lovely spacious garden.

It feels like our home, I’d like a 3 bed in an ideal world but I don’t think that’s happening for us for realistically quite a while. Despite both being on average incomes we will probably be in our 40s before we achieve our forever home status. We are TTC soon, we have a small bedroom for the baby but we would have no room for a playroom or anything like that & I’m wondering how much this matters. I know in some parts of Europe people raise families in flats and apartments, and it’s very normal over there!

Does anyone else have a small home?

OP posts:
TrueScrumptious · 30/07/2023 13:28

thebinkster · 30/07/2023 13:27

Can we have another engagement ring thread please.It's pouring rain outside and I'm stuck in the house on my own bored to tears.

Sure, but maybe not on the small homes thread!

thebinkster · 30/07/2023 14:33

Sorry wrong thread

klj78 · 30/07/2023 18:40

We live in Somerset, it’s not too expensive for my kids to move out, they just have different priorities and are happy to live at home with minimal expenses.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 30/07/2023 19:43

gallop17 · 29/07/2023 13:52

@LakieLady new homes are no different to old homes in that you get what you pay for, you can get bigger new homes but you have to pay more.

Absolutely, not all new builds are small, not by a long shot, all depends on your price point.

SummerBunn · 30/07/2023 19:58

I raised my children in a two bed flat. Totally normal. I live in a three bed now, but it took years of saving and extra hours working to afford.

LolaSmiles · 30/07/2023 20:01

I think people should have the houses that facilitate their lifestyle, but not overstretch themselves for luxuries that they don't need.

Someone seemed surprised to me that we don't keep a guest bedroom ready for visitors. We have the space, but I'd rather not have to share an office space with DH when we WFH. We have a day bed for when we have guests, which is rare.

Imdrivinginmygetawaycar · 30/07/2023 20:14

Oh I'd love a house to fit my lifestyle.

We both wfh and alternate the kitchen table. Individual offices on top of kids bedrooms is properly out of the league of most.

Skiggles2018 · 30/07/2023 22:14

LolaSmiles · 30/07/2023 20:01

I think people should have the houses that facilitate their lifestyle, but not overstretch themselves for luxuries that they don't need.

Someone seemed surprised to me that we don't keep a guest bedroom ready for visitors. We have the space, but I'd rather not have to share an office space with DH when we WFH. We have a day bed for when we have guests, which is rare.

Facilitating my lifestyle would definitely mean I have a pool.
Not an inflatable one either!

PassTheSnacks · 31/07/2023 03:55

You've missed the point completely - I never said there was no benefit. You are clearly financially fortunate to not only be able to purchase a property with such a large garden, but also maintain and grow all of that stuff. That takes time and effort so you're not working your fingers to the bone.

Lol!!! I am a lone parent. I work extremely hard to provide this home for my children. Who are both disabled by the way. None of this has happened because I am "fortunate". Best not to make assumptions about people.

LolaSmiles · 31/07/2023 06:08

I was clumsy with my phrasing, sorry.

I didn't mean we should all sit demand everything we would love. It was more that I was questioning the idea that having a 4/5 bed house isn't just an Instagram thing with everyone having a playroom etc. If people can afford a house that meets their lifestyle needs (eg enough bedrooms for their DC to have a non-overcrowded bedroom, space to WFH so they're not sitting at the kitchen table expecting the other parent to keep quiet with DC etc) then that's unlikely to go away.

Some box rooms are barely big enough for a single bed, so they're either a study or a nursery.
Smaller houses could work better if they had better room dimensions. My friend's 2 up 2 down has two bigger, more usable bedrooms than some of my other friends' 3 bed semis.

Doone21 · 31/07/2023 08:04

New builds are notorious for being cramped. My best buy was a 2 bed maisonette in an old converted house, cheap as no garden but near park so it worked fine for us. It was massive.

purplehair1 · 31/07/2023 08:20

Have a bigger house now but when my son was first born we lived in a tiny house with his room being not much bigger than the actual cot itself in Bristol. Playroom was not something that was a thing in our circle of friends! Lovely little house though.

CKMc2b · 31/07/2023 12:07

Honestly, I wouldn't worry so much. There are negatives with living in a bigger place and a seperate house. Lots of outdoor work to be done/gardening which I hate. My place is full of sandflies and mozzies especially in summer which is annoying. 4 bed, 2 bath, so lots of cleaning to do (seperate lounge, dining room, kitchen and laundry), and also a bigger mortgage to start. It's overwhelming trying to take care of cooking for 4, studying, working, looking after a baby, and a cat sometimes when you look around at what needs to be tired you just get defeated and go to bed. Lol

CKMc2b · 31/07/2023 12:08

tidied sorry for the typos

Fairhsa · 31/07/2023 15:21

I live in Hong Kong. People raise children and keep granny in flats which are the size of a normal living room in many countries. 400 sq ft flats are considered luxury. And yet people do fine.

Enterchat · 31/07/2023 22:04

Also worth remembering your child is u likely to be bothered that your house is small, they’ll be more bothered about the memories you make.

This sounds like a platitude but omg it is so true. We lived in a really shonky house for years. The landlord was a crook, the men he hired to do work were sex pests, the roof leaked, it was damp, it was fucking awful. I tried and tried to get something better but kept missing out due to only having one income . I eventually found a really nice house where the landlord agreed for us to get a tenancy and I was so happy. No more damp, leaks, no more living in a shit hole, but turns out ds1 was really sad because we'd be leaving our home which is the place where he'd built his childhood memories. It was literally all he thought of. He was sad about leaving his bedroom behind because that's where he'd had playdates and sleepovers and thought his little thoughts and lived his little life. Even though every time I decorated it it would turn to shit within weeks because of the damp and leaks. He literally didn't care.

It brought me up quite sharp to realise that all the time I'd been desperate to get out that house as far as he was concerned he was king of his castle in it.

EleanorLucyG · 01/08/2023 10:26

Milkmani · 29/07/2023 09:20

It depends where you live, we are in Surrey (stayed close to my parents as one is terminally ill) we earn £120,000 combined and there isn’t a lot left after mortgage, nursery fees, utilities. We keep to a strict budget, shop at Aldi/Lidl, have only Amazon prime for tv, oldish phones, no takeaways/dinners out, certainly can’t afford a holiday this year and live in a very small two bed house. We get by but don’t have much money left at the end of each month. Obviously there are people a lot worse of but I honestly thought we would have a good lifestyle with our current combined earning but with the increase in everything I feel a bit miffed I can’t just go out and buy a new pair of jeans if I fancy it, I always buy secondhand or eBay if I need something.

I’m hoping things will change in a couple of years when my son starts school and I can work towards a promotion. I’m good with the budget, it’s just that everything is so expensive at the moment.

Show quote history

No, I doesn't depend where you live. You're broke, sure. But you're broke because of your choices. Not saying your choices are bad, not at all, totally understandable you'd want to live near terminally ill parents. BUT you have choices and options available to you on your salary that you simply wouldn't have if you were truly on a low income - if you earned min wage or thereabouts. In that case you wouldn't be able to choose to live near you parents in Surrey. And if it gets too much for you living there and feeling squeezed financially as you currently are, you can choose to move away to somewhere cheaper. Someone on a genuinely low income will already be living somewhere cheaper and they're probably feeling squeezed too, but they can't do anything about it.

To whoever said council housing isn't Nirvana. You're right, but if you're in poverty it's a darn sight better than the alternative ie private rent. Lots of council housing is shit. Bad neighborhood, antisocial behaviour from neighbours, landlord who isn't so great with repairs, sometimes a building that frankly needs demolishing and rebuilding to make it habitable. But, it's better than not being able to secure private rent, having to declare as homeless and go into a hostel or b&b sometimes for years and getting moved between different ones, having to constantly pack up and move potentially every 6 months if your private rental tenancy isn't renewed and the costs of that. Losing almost all your possessions if you become homeless because unless you can afford a storage unit and a removal van to get your stuff there that's what happens. Imagine losing all your furniture and white goods and having to replace it when you're eventually housed somewhere, which could be another private rental where in 6 months time the same situation occurs again. The stress of never knowing how long you can stay somewhere. Knowing that if you decorate it at all, it's all money down the drain when you leave if you don't end up staying long. Having a council flat stops all that. It gives you a home you can call your own. You can't be moved on unless you're not paying rent or antisocial. You have freedom to decorate and know it's not a waste of money. If you ever need to go on housing benefit, you know the rent isn't going to exceed the maximum amount of HB. If the landlord doesn't do repairs you can get environmental health involved to force them and you won't find the landlord declines to renew your tenancy in response, because they can't. Because the rent is set fair and not inflated as private rents are, you'll have a better quality of life on a low income than someone earning the same but in a private rental. So no, not Nirvana, and some unfortunate people will find their particular circumstances a living hell, but it does in a lot of cases eliminate a lot of the stresses and hardships that private renters face.

To Rosetintedmemories £130k inst a low income. You're the squeezed middle, I get it, it sucks. But you didn't suddenly become low income just because you can't afford stuff in the area you currently live. If you were private renting and got evicted, you could house yourself tomorrow by going out and purchasing a house somewhere cheaper. That's not an option to someone on a low income. You have options, you have choices. They may all suck but at least they're there.

Imdrivinginmygetawaycar · 01/08/2023 10:31

Well said!

rosetintedmemories2023 · 01/08/2023 11:02

EleanorLucyG · 01/08/2023 10:26

No, I doesn't depend where you live. You're broke, sure. But you're broke because of your choices. Not saying your choices are bad, not at all, totally understandable you'd want to live near terminally ill parents. BUT you have choices and options available to you on your salary that you simply wouldn't have if you were truly on a low income - if you earned min wage or thereabouts. In that case you wouldn't be able to choose to live near you parents in Surrey. And if it gets too much for you living there and feeling squeezed financially as you currently are, you can choose to move away to somewhere cheaper. Someone on a genuinely low income will already be living somewhere cheaper and they're probably feeling squeezed too, but they can't do anything about it.

To whoever said council housing isn't Nirvana. You're right, but if you're in poverty it's a darn sight better than the alternative ie private rent. Lots of council housing is shit. Bad neighborhood, antisocial behaviour from neighbours, landlord who isn't so great with repairs, sometimes a building that frankly needs demolishing and rebuilding to make it habitable. But, it's better than not being able to secure private rent, having to declare as homeless and go into a hostel or b&b sometimes for years and getting moved between different ones, having to constantly pack up and move potentially every 6 months if your private rental tenancy isn't renewed and the costs of that. Losing almost all your possessions if you become homeless because unless you can afford a storage unit and a removal van to get your stuff there that's what happens. Imagine losing all your furniture and white goods and having to replace it when you're eventually housed somewhere, which could be another private rental where in 6 months time the same situation occurs again. The stress of never knowing how long you can stay somewhere. Knowing that if you decorate it at all, it's all money down the drain when you leave if you don't end up staying long. Having a council flat stops all that. It gives you a home you can call your own. You can't be moved on unless you're not paying rent or antisocial. You have freedom to decorate and know it's not a waste of money. If you ever need to go on housing benefit, you know the rent isn't going to exceed the maximum amount of HB. If the landlord doesn't do repairs you can get environmental health involved to force them and you won't find the landlord declines to renew your tenancy in response, because they can't. Because the rent is set fair and not inflated as private rents are, you'll have a better quality of life on a low income than someone earning the same but in a private rental. So no, not Nirvana, and some unfortunate people will find their particular circumstances a living hell, but it does in a lot of cases eliminate a lot of the stresses and hardships that private renters face.

To Rosetintedmemories £130k inst a low income. You're the squeezed middle, I get it, it sucks. But you didn't suddenly become low income just because you can't afford stuff in the area you currently live. If you were private renting and got evicted, you could house yourself tomorrow by going out and purchasing a house somewhere cheaper. That's not an option to someone on a low income. You have options, you have choices. They may all suck but at least they're there.

Show quote history

My point wasn't that i can't afford stuff. my mortgage is 14% of nett household income, and even if it rose £500, it would be 22% of nett income. I don't have a car so i really only spend on food, gas/electricity, internet and mostly non essential luxuries. My point is that it is a low income because it buys me the same kind of home in a similar area as my DH's mum (who was on means tested benefits during the blair years) though i can also enjoy a lot of holidays and consumer goods at the same time (which has also become cheaper relative to income). It is also low relative to the many many rich people who also live in the UK.

Imdrivinginmygetawaycar · 01/08/2023 11:08

😂

Milkmani · 01/08/2023 11:10

EleanorLucyG · 01/08/2023 10:26

No, I doesn't depend where you live. You're broke, sure. But you're broke because of your choices. Not saying your choices are bad, not at all, totally understandable you'd want to live near terminally ill parents. BUT you have choices and options available to you on your salary that you simply wouldn't have if you were truly on a low income - if you earned min wage or thereabouts. In that case you wouldn't be able to choose to live near you parents in Surrey. And if it gets too much for you living there and feeling squeezed financially as you currently are, you can choose to move away to somewhere cheaper. Someone on a genuinely low income will already be living somewhere cheaper and they're probably feeling squeezed too, but they can't do anything about it.

To whoever said council housing isn't Nirvana. You're right, but if you're in poverty it's a darn sight better than the alternative ie private rent. Lots of council housing is shit. Bad neighborhood, antisocial behaviour from neighbours, landlord who isn't so great with repairs, sometimes a building that frankly needs demolishing and rebuilding to make it habitable. But, it's better than not being able to secure private rent, having to declare as homeless and go into a hostel or b&b sometimes for years and getting moved between different ones, having to constantly pack up and move potentially every 6 months if your private rental tenancy isn't renewed and the costs of that. Losing almost all your possessions if you become homeless because unless you can afford a storage unit and a removal van to get your stuff there that's what happens. Imagine losing all your furniture and white goods and having to replace it when you're eventually housed somewhere, which could be another private rental where in 6 months time the same situation occurs again. The stress of never knowing how long you can stay somewhere. Knowing that if you decorate it at all, it's all money down the drain when you leave if you don't end up staying long. Having a council flat stops all that. It gives you a home you can call your own. You can't be moved on unless you're not paying rent or antisocial. You have freedom to decorate and know it's not a waste of money. If you ever need to go on housing benefit, you know the rent isn't going to exceed the maximum amount of HB. If the landlord doesn't do repairs you can get environmental health involved to force them and you won't find the landlord declines to renew your tenancy in response, because they can't. Because the rent is set fair and not inflated as private rents are, you'll have a better quality of life on a low income than someone earning the same but in a private rental. So no, not Nirvana, and some unfortunate people will find their particular circumstances a living hell, but it does in a lot of cases eliminate a lot of the stresses and hardships that private renters face.

To Rosetintedmemories £130k inst a low income. You're the squeezed middle, I get it, it sucks. But you didn't suddenly become low income just because you can't afford stuff in the area you currently live. If you were private renting and got evicted, you could house yourself tomorrow by going out and purchasing a house somewhere cheaper. That's not an option to someone on a low income. You have options, you have choices. They may all suck but at least they're there.

Show quote history

Totally, not saying I’m low income but for those squeezed in the middle there is little to financial help available- quite rightly as that should be reserved for low incomes. Although I do struggle to understand how someone in a HA home is able to take £4-5k holidays annually like one of my colleagues, one of life’s great mysteries I guess. But like I said in my original post, fully aware I’m not on a low income but you’d think it would go further. I did grow up in a low income home and as soon as my parents could afford it we moved out of a council house and they paid their way, allowing someone who truly needed the home to have it.

Life is expensive in the UK but it won’t be getting any better.

addictedtotheflats · 01/08/2023 11:26

I feel the same, my house sounds like yours minus the downstairs toilet. We have no hallway and the front room is a thoroughfare, we have just about managed with 1 DC but are about to have our second. However, I'm not prepared to double (or more) my mortgage repayments at this point so we are staying put and keeping myself grounded by telling myself we are lucky to own a property were not at risk of losing in the current cost of living crisis.

gogomoto · 01/08/2023 11:41

@lorieats99

It's never been the norm to have a huge house, certainly not in your 20's. The idea everyone can have a big 4 bed detached is fantasy.

Flats and small houses are the norm for most people

rosetintedmemories2023 · 01/08/2023 13:17

Milkmani · 01/08/2023 11:10

Totally, not saying I’m low income but for those squeezed in the middle there is little to financial help available- quite rightly as that should be reserved for low incomes. Although I do struggle to understand how someone in a HA home is able to take £4-5k holidays annually like one of my colleagues, one of life’s great mysteries I guess. But like I said in my original post, fully aware I’m not on a low income but you’d think it would go further. I did grow up in a low income home and as soon as my parents could afford it we moved out of a council house and they paid their way, allowing someone who truly needed the home to have it.

Life is expensive in the UK but it won’t be getting any better.

Show quote history

That's why there is no appetite for funding for council housing. People associate them with the very poorest and as evident on this thread, no one likes to think of themselves as poor. Even the people who are poor. If council flats were thought of as homes for ordinary people aka not rich people, people would feel much more invested in the project.

I guess I am a bit of an odd duck it gives me hope that I am 'poor'. The only way is up. I have something to fight for and I will keep working my way up. It can only get better. And I know that I am not being snobby or arrogant or having a misplace sense of my own importance. I know that I am poor and I have a lot to strive for.

rosetintedmemories2023 · 01/08/2023 13:22

And the result of lack of investment in council housing is that people who think they are rich buy private homes they can ill afford and think that is aspirational. I am not sure what is aspirational about having a big mortgage and having to scrimp on heating. But yet people have no choice as there is no council housing. On my relatively meagre household income of £130k I would far prefer paying the council £1500 rent per month for a nice 3 bed flat as opposed to the £1020 per month for my private 1930s 2 bed flat. At least that is going to subsidize housing for some poor people. The interest on the other hand that I pay to the bank goes to make the bank richer and also the price I paid for my flat went to make some ex landlord very wealthy. People should be able to buy private houses if they want to waste their money but people should have the choice.