The Roman Catholic Church

[Orfuln]

Following the death of Sinead O'Connor.

Obviously the acts and crimes of this church are vast and can't be contained to one place. But in honour of a great woman, if you find it in yourself, give your testimony here.

Mine : my father was institutionalised, brutalised and brainwashed in childhood by the Catholic organisation who schooled him following the death of his father. He was an unhappy and violent man who didn't understand family relationships and consequently my own childhood was blighted with violence and misery. I did however learn my catechism very well. I now absolutely reject it.

Fair enough. My family are catholic, I am to an extent, but I've only ever had a positive experience in the church. I went to a gorgeous Indy catholic school with really kind nuns; my local priest is just lovely. I would say I'm more spiritually Christian than attached to the church.

See, that says it all! You did nothing at all, as an innocent baby, but were somehow tainted? They'd love your arse on a pew now, they're desperate to make up numbers.

How anyone can support any religion that has covered up so much abuse is beyond belief

Letterfrack - mentioned upthread. Even the word makes me shudder. My dad now in 80s said as a young kid the threat would be if you do wrong you get sent to Letterfrack. The abuse wasn't incidental, like rogue Christian brothers, it was part and parcel of being there. Apparently they targeted orphans for sexual abuse cos no one would believe them, that's what I've heard anyhow. Dad didn't know about sexual abuse but that there was something sinister and evil about that place. That was in the 60s. My gran in the 1920s tells of a day she dropped something over to the priest and her father went mad when he found the housekeeper wasn't home, he told her never to be alone with that man no matter what but wouldn't say why. Yet when the 'scandals' broke everyone was shocked and outraged. This is what infuriates me, not one journalist, public figure or media organisation had the balls to speak up for 60 years of independence and all then feigned innocence. Men sent their kids to be altar boys generation after generation although many had been abused. Do we really believe not one politician had a personal experience or knew about it happening? It makes me so angry. It wasn't just the 'church' it was every single person who stayed silent. Shame on the lot of them. Until a young singer in 1990 spoke on US TV.

My grandmother was Catholic, whilst my grandfather was Protestant. The day after my father was born, the local priest turned up and told them that dad was a bastard because they’d married in a registry office. Grandad chased him down the drive with a large stick.

My Catholic mother-in-law regularly attended church, worked in a Catholic nursing home looking after the nuns, and was a thoroughly good woman. When she was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago there was no care, no concern, not even prayers or a visit. The priest didn’t give a stuff. She felt so let down at the end of her life.

My DH was raised catholic and I'm a NI protestant.
His grandmother doesn't believe we are married because we were married in a civil ceremony and I refused to convert to catholicism.
I grew up going to church three or four times a week plus youth groups, sunday school and bible classes.
DH was an altar boy in his church.

My sister was molested by a youth leader at our church and the Rector covered it up.

DH and I have absolutely no time for organised religion and all our children went to secular schools, I very sincerely regret baptising them but my mother kicked up a fuss at the time.

They really practise what they preach alright. Ffs.

And as long as the Abusers confessed it was all ok

Letterfrack was the worst of them all. They had a big hall where the villagers would come in to watch the films they showed on the projector. Boys on one side, villagers on the other.

They saw, they knew. Everyone knew. Runaways were marched straight back by anyone who found them.

We didn't baptise our daughter. More raised eyebrows than i thought at the time but mostly it was fine. I think none of them wanted a monologue from me. She's going into 6th now, we had to move schools and managed 2 ETs (with effort, the first was not local). And i honestly wouldn't give it up for the world. They learn about religions, so they're not ignorant, but they're not indoctrinated. This should be what schools are, education not indoctrination.

And i'm so sorry about your sister :(

I can’t believe it’s legal to send a child to catholic school, what an epic crock of sh1t. When shown around our local catholic primary school, there was an odd cupboard with two chairs in it, I asked ‘what’s this room for?’, was told each class room has a worry box for the kids to put their concerns into, apparently the visiting priest would take the children individually into this room to discuss these every Friday. Went home feeling absolutely sickened.

I think it was 96% religious schools when my daughter was starting out, vast majority catholic. She's 11 now, nearly 12. We specifically moved somewhere to be close to an educate together school, and when we moved again, we had a plan worked out to get to the closest educate together which was far away (happily, they moved that year to around the corner so we were very lucky). But i was very much 'over my dead body' wrt a catholic school if i could avoid it at all. But i was lucky, i had the option, loads of people don't. So it sucks.

Ditto apart from one rotten bullying teacher. I'd say our experience is more common. Money and class definitely a big part of it too. Pupils at fee paying schools run by the Sisters of Mercy or Christian brothers wouldn't be getting slapped.

And sexual abuse is a crime . Crimes require means , motive and opportunity. We all went home to our families every evening so there's no opportunity. The poor children in ' care homes' or orphans had a much worse experience. Also ' a fish rots from the head' . I remember Ronnie Drew saying how happy he was at his convent school. Everyone loved the head nun - whatever they're called. But he had a horrible time at Christian Brothers.

My own brother hated the nuns in his time so it's down to leadership . But I repeat , the state is equally culpable. Let's entrust the care of our children to young men and women who are not allowed to marry. Celibacy is a war against nature - what could possibly go wrong. Oh and they are unpaid ! That's a result for the public finances. Insanity.

A lot of comments on this thread relate to Ireland and there is no denial to some of the events of the past. There is also cultural element here, ops father might have been traumatised by his own father death as much as his religious upbringing.
The church is changing all over the world, children of unmarried couples are being baptised, multi faith marriages and gay people takin communion. It’s a religion of love and forgiveness which also gives many people a way to escape the commercial world we live in. The numbers are not dwindling here young people want to be part of Catholic Church too with many attending World Youth Days in Lisbon.

I'm glad it worked for you. I always think it is amazing that the families don't get criticism for not supporting their daughters. My great aunt had an illegitimate baby, small Irish town, very religious family. Baby and mother lived with parents/grandparents. I'm sure it must have been difficult for them but they wouldn't turn their own out.

This wouldn't apply now (i hope) but 30 years ago even there would have been parents who wouldn't have dreamt of going against the church. They might have watched and warned, but had there been the complaints there should have been, it wouldn't have been allowed to go on so long. It was a complete stranglehold.

Raised by a devoutly catholic mother and a lapsed catholic, firmly atheist Father. He supported the fact that our Mother wanted us to be raised as catholics but took no part in the religion. We went to catholic schools where I was punched by a nun and our headmaster beat children on a regular basis and carried a plaited leather whip he called his ‘three legged friend’. Many years later a priest tried to kiss me … with tongues! I am not a practicing catholic. I admired Sinead for the stance she took when nobody else would. May she rest in peace.

Thank you.

We live in England now so luckily I have a proper choice about schools. My children have probably been to church less than 10 times in their lives.

My NI family are deeply religious and I'm looked on with suspicion almost because I'm not.
We just don't talk about it!

You know that isn't how confession works?

Yeah, despite my rantings above my kids go to a Catholic school but when they started almost all schools were Catholic anyhow, as @Chickenkeev said so it was just a matter of sending to the local school. Religion is taught as a separate subject and obviously Catholic but they learn about other religions and practices and its about tolerance forgiveness love etc. My daughters pal has 2 mums, there is an openly gay male teacher, no one knows or asks if the parents are married. Holy Communion is optional.

Men sent their kids to be altar boys generation after generation although many had been abused.

This is the mentality that's hard to fathom I think.

With respect, in ireland, they were not forthcoming wrt abuse and reparations. They fought tooth and nail against any removal of catholicism from laws. They are afraid ( and rightly so imo) of allowing people choice. They are afraid people won't choose them. And so they should be.

My husband’s birth mother was a Residential School survivor. It resulted in massive addiction issues that saw her children born with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). She lost custody of all her children over time. My husband was part of the 60s Scoop, when it was policy so the Canadian government to place Indigenous children with white families.

Residential Schools were run by priests and nuns in cooperation with the Canadian (and US) government. We KNOW children were abused, neglected and murdered there. We KNOW that thousands of unmarked graves exist on Residences School land, and we KNOW that they haven’t searched all of them.

Until every lost child is found and returned to their families, and every living person who was involved is criminally charged, (the last school closed in the 90s) I have nothing but disgust towards the organization and severe distrust of people who are able to ignore these issues and still follow it.

Explain the whole absolution thing please?