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Original poster

Tonight is my last night in the house I've lived in for 24 years

26 replies

Fwendi · 26/07/2023 20:15

It's the house my dc grew up in, the house my dh died in, the house I've loved - and, at times, hated in equal measure . I don't quite know how to feel.

I'm trying to embrace the "it's an exciting new chapter" outlook but it currently just feels like lots of endings :(.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/07/2023 20:16

Where are you going to OP?

mrsbyers · 26/07/2023 20:16

Just walk around once all packed up and spend a moment in each room remembering and thank the house for your happy memories then close the door and focus on making new ones

RandomMess · 26/07/2023 20:31

We sold the family home where my DC were born. I had to go back regularly and stay in it - camping on the floor.

Honestly it was just a building not home anymore. I was very surprised I had no emotional connection to it was our stuff was removed.

LividHot · 26/07/2023 20:34

It's okay to feel this way.

Do a walk round like PP said. I'd film a video of saying goodbye to each room, and you can look back on it.

Often it feels different when everything is empty.

Let yourself feel the good and the sad times.

Original poster
Fwendi · 26/07/2023 20:35

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/07/2023 20:16

Where are you going to OP?

After nearly 2 years of looking practically all over the country - I'm only moving about 3 miles away!

But it's a big move in terms of life stages if you see what I mean - ie, downsizing, youngest dc off to uni etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fwendi · 26/07/2023 20:36

@mrsbyers I will do this :).

The plus side is I've had a massive sort out.

OP posts:
Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 26/07/2023 20:37

Embrace the you time op. Your New Page can be you based!

MeinKraft · 26/07/2023 20:37

Might be a good time to look at some counselling sessions if you have access to them through work or something like that? Just seems like a point in life that it would be nice to having some talking therapy to help you gather your thoughts.

justaweeone · 26/07/2023 20:39

❤️thinking of you xx

Original poster
Fwendi · 26/07/2023 20:39

I knew I'd get some sensible words here - thank you :).

OP posts:
EmmaEmerald · 26/07/2023 20:39

I get it OP

I was terribly homesick for the first few weeks, hopefully you won't be. But now I'm at home in my new place. It's hard to say goodbye, I know. Hugs if wanted.

CopperSeahorses · 26/07/2023 20:45

I get it. I need to move at some point in the future but I am not ready yet. I haven't lived here as long as you lived in your house but it was the house that DH and I chose, together. He died in this room where I am sitting right now, this room gives me great comfort and leaving the house feels like the final step in leaving him behind.

Good luck in your new chapter Flowers

tillytoodles1 · 26/07/2023 20:47

Our house was repossessed as my H became very ill and I had to be his carer. We moved into an adapted council flat, but before we left I stood in the rooms and realised that my memories of the happy times we spent there were still in my head. We drove away for the last time feeling better about what was coming next.

Joy5 · 26/07/2023 20:57

I moved out of the family home 3 years ago, due to a divorce where my son had died in his sleep nearly 10 years before.

I was the same as you full of dread about leaving, but once it had happened it stopped mattering. All my feelings and memories stayed with me and the house just wasn’t important anymore.

Sending a hug you will get through it and your memories will remain

Crikeyalmighty · 26/07/2023 21:01

@Fwendi I do understand how you feel - as the old saying goes, when one door closes another opens. It's ok to feel melancholic about it if you do.

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 26/07/2023 21:14

I remember hating my first house-it was too far from my family and friends,my abusive ex lived almost in the next street-he could look into my bedroom window,it was miles from the area I'd grown up in-the list was endless

id brought up 3 kids to school age there,I'd given birth to my ds there (that was an accident!),a lot of memories where wrapped up in it-good and bad

I'd put a lot of money into it-as a skint single mum,it had been hard

I cried my eyes out all the way to the next house-it didn't help that I'd not had a chance to walk round and say goodbye to each room-the new people (quite rightly) wanted me out so they could move in and make it their home

I now live many miles away from that house-i hope it's where I will end my days-id be devastated to have to leave it,but if you take your stuff out,it really is just an empty shell
Sending hugs

Original poster
Fwendi · 26/07/2023 22:43

Thanks so much for the kind words and wise advice. And I'm so sorry to those who have lost loved ones. Their memories will always be with us but sometimes places and memories are so intertwined it's hard to appreciate that 💐

OP posts:
LaMaG · 26/07/2023 22:46

Joy5 · 26/07/2023 20:57

I moved out of the family home 3 years ago, due to a divorce where my son had died in his sleep nearly 10 years before.

I was the same as you full of dread about leaving, but once it had happened it stopped mattering. All my feelings and memories stayed with me and the house just wasn’t important anymore.

Sending a hug you will get through it and your memories will remain

I'm so sorry to hear about your son xx

Yellowdays · 26/07/2023 23:10

I moved in similar circumstances OP. I love my new house.

Restinggoddess · 26/07/2023 23:22

Did the same as you - 18 years in a house where DV grew up and many happy memories. DH did so much DIY it was so special
Took lots of photos and said goodbye to each room
Currently doing up a different house and sometime I miss the ‘old house’ but I remember the good times and think about the new memories we will make here ( once DH finishes all the DIY)
Change is difficult but invigorating

Best of luck in your new home

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/07/2023 23:56

Joy5 · 26/07/2023 20:57

I moved out of the family home 3 years ago, due to a divorce where my son had died in his sleep nearly 10 years before.

I was the same as you full of dread about leaving, but once it had happened it stopped mattering. All my feelings and memories stayed with me and the house just wasn’t important anymore.

Sending a hug you will get through it and your memories will remain

I am so sorry you lost your son.

💐

caringcarer · 27/07/2023 00:46

OP if you have any nice plants in your garden take cuttings with you. It will be a comfort to see them growing in your new garden.

RandomMess · 27/07/2023 09:33

Hope your moving day goes smoothly. Time for more memories in a new place taking all the good ones with you too Flowers

Shoesonthefloor · 27/07/2023 09:36

🩷 for all those who've lost someone close

EvelynKatie · 27/07/2023 09:58

I was quite emotional leaving a house I only lived in for 3 years but it was more what I went through personally in that time whilst living there on my own, and the love and attention I spent on it, I was very sad to leave. The morning I was waiting for the call to say it had gone through and to drop my keys off, I just silently spent time in each room remembering the change in my life from when I moved in to leaving. I took photos of each room and then left.

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