Do you have friends outside of your social class?

[tolatola]

I hadn’t realised what a bubble I live in. I’m privately educated, come from a very upper middle class family, went to Cambridge, and now work in an ‘elite’ profession. I live in an expensive area of London. Naturally, my friends or social time is spent through people met through work, university, or family members.

I went on holiday recently to a seaside town. We rented a house on the seafront. We went to a local pub and got chatting away to a lovely couple. They were from London, but very very working class. We had a lovely evening chatting. But it made me realise that I live in a real bubble. How many people have friendships that span class boundaries?

What's the difference between working class and very, very working class?

It's "vaar vaar" no? 😁

If you kids go to a state primary then surely they mix with everyone and so probably do you (unless it's a very posh area). If they're in a fee paying school and you work in an elite industry, I can see how you'd get yourself in a situation where you don't mix socially with anyone down the class ladder. Not healthy in my opinion.

OP how did you manage to get through Cambridge without making any friends outside your milieu? That takes some doing.

I do
I have friends from most backgrounds such as a single Mum who arrived in this country a few years ago and was on benefits before going to Uni and someone who is from Aristocracy, a few Company Directors, a waitress, barmaid, Doctor, Teachers.
I went to Private school but on a scholarship and my brother was at a rough Comp so I met a variety of people. The DC went to quite a mixed Primary and then Private Secondary so the parents I met vary too.
I can happily mix with anyone really and walk into most social situations

Friends, who are they 😄

I don't have friends like you, no. Not by design, I just don't inhabit the same spaces. Same with people at the other end of the scale.

The work I've done, places I socialise etc tend to have the same middling, been to uni have career type jobs but not financially comfortable people.

Unless people have transgressed boundaries themselves most birds of a feather flock together!

@Indigotree Fair enough. The actual statistics don't support you, but they could be wrong.

I don't think it's about class, it's about income and hobbies.

People don't like to associate with people who eg have smaller houses and less expensive cars, so they don't.

But when you have a hobby, to some degree it's a great leveller, so it doesn't matter how much you earn. Obviously this doesn't apply to expensive hobbies and I suppose you can make any hobby expensive, (eg go running but do half- marathons in different cities every month) but you have something in common with someone that doesn't involve money, you see past it more easily.

I know people like to say we have a class system in the UK, but it's about money.

Perhaps statistics tend to look at income as a marker of class, rather than cultural background? I don't know.

Did you find out what they call their grandmother? I bet it is Nana.

🤣

Yes, lots of different classes.
Live in an International, ex pat community, most people are very wealthy.
I grew up middle class, but parents were working class (dad at least)
I lived in a nice area, went to a good, state school, but had friends from private schools etc. I also had friends from the local estate and Dh is working class, so I sort of mix with anyone, so long as they’re down to earth, decent people.

I do, because my extended family is very mixed, and because we are a racially mixed family. But I think it's normal to live in social bubbles.

I do. I’m northern and WC. I went to a red brick uni where naturally there were a lot LOT of UMC/UC people. I made friends with a group of 4 other girls. 1 very similar background to me, one kind of MC you’d say (parents are teachers) and two of them certainly UMC/UC. We are all still great friends 14 years later but visiting each other and each others families/homes is an eye opener for sure. We mostly take the piss out of each other.

Now I think about it, no. All my friends were privately educated, all are middle / upper middle class. Not by design.

Me: Respectable working class/lower middle class
My friends: Lower working class through to established middle class.

Quite a lot of my friendships have been made through lefty circles/activism.
In the past I was involved in a lot of environmental activism and I knew a lot more posh people.
These days, I mostly do community organising on my rough estate so......not so much....

What's going on tonight...

Is the Nana poster your mum?!

I have a very varied circle.
I come from a MC home but then parents themselves came from WC backgrounds and we were never super well off or anything, just comfortable holiday usually once a year and two cars on the 1990s.
But then my dad passed away when I was still in primary school and mum developed severe MH issues. Things were very difficult at home and I tended to gravitate to friends who also had struggles at home I.e. domestic violence. Lots of these kids were from WC homes. We are still friends now as adults and I wonder if this is why I have never really discriminated as to who I am friends with

Yes. I don't just have friends outside my social class, I have family too.
My parents are totally working class. My MIL is from an upper class (landed gentry) family. DH and I are middle class (I guess I've come 'up', and he's come 'down', as it were).
We moved to a little town where we had no links and met pretty much all of our friends through outdoor pursuits. Outdoor pursuits span all social classes, so the group we mix with includes every sort of person - BUT they are all outdoorsy.

Those wc fuckers are everywhere , get above their station some of them. Should stick to sitting on couches in their front gardens

some of my friends are solid middle class (dentist, ceo, partner in accounting firm); some are teachers, scientists, nurses, some are accounts clerks, waitresses, bus drivers… so a bit of a mix

You’ve seriously never thought about it? That’s so depressing.
Life would be very dull if we all just stuck to our ‘own class’. What a stultifying way to live.

I live in a rural village so of course have friends from all different backgrounds. I think it’s quite hard to live in the country and be active in your local community for this not to be the case.

Yes and no, I suppose most of my friends are university educated, liberal professionals but we do socialise with all kinds of people through work etc. it's not intentional though, they are just the people I know

Oh did the nana thread go a bit class orientated then? yaaaawn.
I think class is just another lense. Agree we probably gravitate towards people with similar values.