Kids left alone in evenings !

[conceredornot]

Neighbour is a lone father to two kids, both primary school age roughly between 9-11

He goes out probably 3-4 evenings a week and leaves them alone sometimes till 10.30-11pm sometimes till 2-3am

He also goes out early sometimes around 5.30am with golf clubs, they are also left alone a lot though day when he goes out and seem to be taking themselves off and home to holiday clubs alone too

Is this a concern or at there ages is it ok ?

There's no law against it

All children have different levels of maturity

But yes he's neglecting them somewhat which is sad

Although there's no law against it, That's neglect.

I personally wouldn't leave my kids at that age alone at such late times each to their own

That's awful. And awful that some people seem to think it's just a 'meh, each to their own' thing.

Poor kids. What a selfish arsehole.

I'm wondering if I should report it but unsure who too, I know what school they are at but obviously school holiday

I know the youngest child has done behaviour issues/ adhd

Don't know what your problem is with my comment I said each to their own as there not my kids and I would not leave my kids in situations like this I don't see you doing anything more than commenting on this thread like me so next time don't come for me I never sat there and said it was okay but if he wants to do that with his kids that on him! I only care about the safety of my children and they are safe! Move along start an argument elsewhere

This is clearly completely anecdotal and not in the slightest bit scientific, but I find that as a rule, single parents tend to give their children more independence, earlier, particularly in the context of being left at home. I have a few friends who are single parents and it's not actually uncommon for them to leave the DC alone, with the older one nominally looking after the younger one. Doesn't seem to do anyone any harm.

Having said that, this does seem like a lot and I would think it's a bit sad that the children aren't seeing their dad much if he's out this much. It's not quite the same as my friend leaving her 12 year old and 7 year old so she can zip out to Sainsbury's.

That's not right, they're too young to cope if there was an emergency or to be honest, if they just fight a lot and one picks on the other etc.

Plus if he's out that much, maybe they're not being well fed or checking they wash, do homework etc either. Being out 4 nights a week seems quite excessive to me, even with a babysitter!

I’m not surprised one has behavioural issues, they are parentless for half the evenings of a week. I do wonder about asking the police in case he’d cut back if they mentioned it to him. And saying to the kids that they can always come knock on your door if they need?

School safeguarding lead should be monitoring emails during the holiday, but can contact NSPCC

Yes I wasn't sure if I should go to police, school or social services but it does seem worrying

Dad also appears to have regular late night lady visitors too

How do you know they are alone? Do you have the house under surveillance?

xxalhxx Chill out. Alittlelighttouchonthetiller didnt mention you by name. I read her comment and assumed she meant the swathes of people that think this sort of situation is "meh each to their own thing" -not you specifically.

Ring childrens social care and report it to them.

Definitely report it. That's not okay

Poor children. You know he's a lone father and I don't think he has any help. I think only you know if you should be calling social services. Are you close to your neighbours. For me, if he's trying his best to keep the family together, working to feed them, then I won't. I'll let him know that in case of emergencies, the children can knock on your door.

However, it sounds like he's out for more than work. I think that's when it's neglectful.

I'd call 101 when I know they've been left for over 2 hours in the evening.

Have you had a chat with him or DC ? Is he working evenings or going to the pub?

Reporte tô social services, these children are way too young to be on their own, let alone with the younger one being ND.

If he's going out to work is one thing but going out with golf clubs and all suggests otherwise.

I only care about the safety of my children and they are safe!

Then you are an awful person.

Personally, I don't feel it's the right thing to leave DC of that age alone on their own in the evenings. The only reasonable exception would be if he's going out to work in the evenings to make ends meet, although it's far from ideal. If he's going out socialising constantly, then it's certainly neglect.

I was left alone for hours or days at this age. I guess that's why I don't see a problem with it. Parents would be on holiday or at work neighbours would check in. Guess it was a different time then. I don't leave mine like I was but I also wouldn't go out my way to report someone for going to work and leaving their kids at home for a few hours. I also wouldn't be so nosey to notice any lady visitors. Guess I'm a minority here on MN.

What a blanket statement about single parents! I have raised d's alone and he only had the odd hour alone from 11 or 12. I have never left him ever for hours on end. To think many of us would routinely leave children alone aged 9 is appalling. Such an assumption!

That's sad, poor children. I wouldn't leave mine alone at that age personally.

I work in safeguarding and I’d call the police on an evening that I know he’s left them alone by at least 10pm; that’s too young and in terms of the law comes under child neglect