Son's girlfriend's parents gave me a birthday present....

[CurlewKate]

Son and gf are 22, live together and seem very happy and settled. I've met her parents a couple of times and liked them. It was my birthday yesterday and they sent a card, which was lovely- and a voucher for a local farm shop for £30- which was unexpected! Would you be surprised? I'm going to have to up my game at Christmas, aren't I??

Arrghh! Stressful. Sweet, but stressful!

Oh god, this would be my nightmare.
What they have given you, albeit very nice, is the gift of reciprocity.

Wow, that's lovely of them!!

I started dating my dh 2 weeks before Xmas. I met them after a week, can't even remember how it came about. They were so lovely. Dh my then bf popped round xmas day and i had a gift card and chocs from his parents. I was so suprised. And a toys r us voucher for dc. They hadn't met him at that point either

@UselessAtPacking that's so lovely!

God, there’s no pleasing some people.

They is extremely kind op !!! They are a good sort

@ChChChangeIsAfoot "Oh god, this would be my nightmare.
What they have given you, albeit very nice, is the gift of reciprocity."

That made me laugh because the ds concerned was given a plant for his 18th and wailed "Who gives responsibility for a present!!"

Sounds like they want to get to know you better ☺️

Is their daughter an only child and is your son her very first boyfriend? It seems nice but a bit much.

My parents exchange gifts with DHs parents and my brothers parents in law. They have done since before we were married, from being in a serious relationship.

My parents also give gifts to my best friend's parents, even tho the only link they have is their daughters being friends.

Some people are just like that.

Oh no! That's so nice of them but also very inconsiderate.

I think you definitely shouldn't start getting them presents. At Christmas time send a card and a modest box of chocolates nice and early so they can see what you've got them. Don't wrap it. Then it's up to them what they do.

My Mum always used to buy an Easter Egg and birthday and Xmas gifts for my best friend and my sister's best friend. My sister's best friend was an orphan so I understood that but not really sure why my best friend got a gift too except of maybe wanting to treat them the same.

Why should I be pleased at now having to afford a gift to exchange with someone?
How many occasions each year will I have to be doing this?
Just birthdays?
birthday and Christmas?
Easter?
Wedding anniversary too?

I don’t even buy siblings gifts, just the children, so yes, this would be a nightmare scenario for me.
Lucky for you if you don’t have to think this way.

I feel the same as @ChChChangeIsAfoot Although a nice gesture on the face of it, for me I'd also feel pressure to be reciprocating- and then where does it stop?
All I have ever wanted is a reasonable working relationship with my children's friends/partners families.
Certainly don't want to be friends with them. That would all be a bit too much Gavin and Stacey for me!
Siblings and I also don't exchange gifts except on special birthdays and anniversaries.

You donr have to buy,them.gifta. just send a message of thanks via your aon. And don't,buy,them.a gift .
It will be fine.

Surprised yes.

Actually, I love giving presents and would certainly have given them something at Christmas. I was just surprised at it being a birthday and 30 quid seems a lot! The farm shop has a cafe, so maybe I'll take son and gf for coffee and cake with the card.

Oh, I'd dislike this too, OP, whilst also thinking it was very kind of them. I find present buying quite stressful, especially for someone I don't know, and this would make me feel like I'd been given responsibility. I'd now have to find out when their birthdays are, and remember to buy something.

I'm just not someone who likes presents that much - giving or receiving. And then that makes me feel like a horrible ungrateful person.

Two good things (as well as having received a nice present):

at least you can use it to treat yourself - it's not random tat that you don't want/need and have to find space for.

you know how much they spent, so you can reciprocate with a similar amount (and a similar style of gift, ie a voucher)

Christ, you think you’re shocked on here and then you read this. Absolute cunts.

(Sorry for un-Chat-like bad language 🤭)

My parents and in laws have a great relationship and maybe they're looking for something like this too?

We've holidayed together and see a lot of each other, which is lovely for the grandkids (although your DC is perhaps a bit young to be thinking of kids!).

Just different to you. Not going to call you a cunt though 😇

Tbh part of it is having children in their 30s so there have been a fair partners between them since the teenage years. Several long term though not permanent partners.
Break ups are even more difficult to navigate than they need to be if the extended families have got too involved with each other.

We get on perfectly well with the current ( hopefully permanent) in laws, and we've done family meals ( and weddings) in a friendly manner, but I still don't want to be exchanging presents with them.

@Hibiscrubbed " Christ, you think you’re shocked on here and then you read this. Absolute cunts"
Out of interest, is that directed at me?