Does anyone else get holiday dread?

[hopeishere]

We are going away this week. Instead of feeling excited I just feel like I'm dreading it and thinking things like 'this time two weeks we will be on our way home'.

I don't like leaving the dog. I worry about getting sick while we are there. I've done loads of research but I still can't relax into it.

The preparation and travel day I find stressful as well as the day we leave. When I'm there I enjoy it, but have sometimes thought, is it worth it, especially if we go abroad as I find that more stressful. This year I'm greatfull we've managed to afford a holiday for the children.

Why allow yourself to get in this state? How
about only thinking good thoughts, imagining yourself on the beach, sitting in the sun etc?
So many things can happen to us, even when we’re not on holiday, but we can’t control the future, so what’s the point in catastrophising?

I love holidays and my favourite moment was when we locked the front door and the family got into the car, feeling like great times lie ahead. My kids are grown up now and do their own thing. DH and I have lovely holidays together but I really miss those exciting and special times with us all. They are special times so enjoy them to the max!

Yes! I almost had a panic attack about going to Devon last year!!

It's odd because I love the idea of going away - am always researching and looking at holidays but it's the lead up. This time I've deliberately booked earlyish (10am) flights so we will be up and straight to the airport. No hanging about. It's a short flight. Transfer booked at the other end (to save stress of working out public transport). It's all planned but it's the "what ifs" in my head that cause me stress.

Hopefully everyone on the thread has a good time!!

If it helps @LaFemmeAnglaise we did the long crossing from Bilbao at Easter in gale force winds. I had every sea sickness remedy known to man in my bag, ranging from acupressure wrist bands right through to proper strong drugs. We used precisely none of it and we were all absolutely fine. The ferry operated on some kind of witchcraft! You could see fully scary seas outside but barely feel it on board. I have no idea how! The only small drama we had was everything sliding off the tables in the cabin at night and I was the only one who noticed, scrabbling about picking stuff up off the floor in the dark. Everyone else slept through it 😜

I hate leaving for holidays. I hate being stuck somewhere and suddenly wondering if the gas is on. Or wondering if I locked the door. Or if I forgot to turn off the electricity.

No. I love holidays and wish I could go more often. If you "dread" them don't go.

Yep. I think I like the idea more than the reality. Takes me 3 days to unclench and then I'm depressed about coming home. I'm a nightmare

We returned last week from a week away that I didn’t want to go on and I was right. In fact we came home a day early. The ‘premier’ accommodation really wasn’t and I just didn’t enjoy it. Not helped by someone hitting the car early in the week either.

I am currently having a few days in London which has, for various reasons been incredibly stressful in the planning. (Lots of other things to co-ordinate with kept changing; train strikes tube strikes then not tube strikes, etc). Completely floored with anxiety over it all.

Have been telling myself once we get going it will be better and it was to an extent but lack of sleep - anxiety related in the run up and noisy hotel room last night - is making me very shaky and tearful.

Hotel is moving me so it should get better and all the other bits are falling into place but I am counting down the days till I go home.

Why allow yourself to get in this state? How
about only thinking good thoughts, imagining yourself on the beach, sitting in the sun etc?
So many things can happen to us, even when we’re not on holiday, but we can’t control the future, so what’s the point in catastrophising?

If only it was so easy! Believe me I recognise that it’s a waste of time getting in a state, but on the other hand the catastrophising can help you be better prepared to an extent.

Yes, it's such hard work. I won't go on holiday without the dog now because I don't want to leave him. There's so much to organise beforehand; hanging about at ferry terminals, airports; the expense; prepping at work before you go and trying to catch up when you get back...it hardly seems worth it. And now the planet is heating up I just don't enjoy hot places in the same way at all. I know I'm a misery...

I'm the same OP, I don't get a choice DH is obsessed with holidays and it's priority above all other expenses. He gets all excited while I organise and pack everything. Then I spend a week or two minding kids, same crap i do at home but with sunscreen and all the insecurities of being away. If I complain to anyone I'm spoilt and entitled, aren't I so lucky to be able to go etc. Also DH likes to make everything complicated, he used to love travelling in his youth and we end up with really complicated schedules, saving money flying to some random airport and doing a road trip etc in a hired car and moving about a bit then usually camping for a week or so. Two of DS are ND and being in new places is a real trigger for one of them, flying triggers the other. Its a nightmare.

We has a massive row over it a few years ago and this year finally we had a week away through a travel agent and it was so easy, like a dream. Plus kids are getting older so we could leave them roam freely in a small safe place. first family holiday I ever enjoyed.

Have you always been like this? What were your childhood holidays like? Are you getting treatment / mental health support?

It's very unusual to be "floored with anxiety" over a couple of days in a London hotel. If you're not already exploring how to improve that then it would be worth it, for your own benefit moving forward.

No, I haven't always been like this. I am well aware it's not normal, and it's certainly not normal for me. There are a lot of other factors I haven't gone into but at the moment I am just taking it a day at a time, and hoping that a good sleep tonight will change things.

This made me laugh because it describes holiday me exactly (although I am a neurotic loon most of the time really). It stems from being outside of my controlled environment. The last holiday apartment had dodgy windows and I spent the whole time in a window closing war with the MIL because I was terrified DD would fall out. I hate "holidays". Give me a nice city break in Edinburgh or York at a Premier Inn any day.

Yes. Not dread so much as discomfort.
my three are young adults now and I am so happy that I can just give them money to go off on holidays with their mates rather than have to go myself!
I have travelled the world. Taken the children on amazing holidays. Lived abroad. I did it to give them experiences and have no regrets but I am much happier at home.
This is the first year when I am going nowhere apart from a few overnight trips. It’s wonderful.
I am in London and just want to potter about in Art Galleries and museums on my weeks off work and then come home to my own house. It’s going to save me so much money in retirement!

The accommodation being haunted is a new one for my worry list 🤣

Yep and me. DH and I are going away next week to a beautiful seaside place that I love so much for two nights TWO NIGHTS and I’m already thinking this time next week I’ll be home. Silly really but there we are

Solidarity with all the "this time next weekers!"

I love holidays- in theory. I love the planning, the booking and while I'm there.
It's the few weeks run up that almost makes me think it's not worthwhile.
I have multiple health conditions though all well controlled (my annual travel insurance is over £500).
So my worries are what if I'm ill? I have SVT but haven't had an attack for 6 years so why would I worry about having one on holiday? I research clinics and hospitals. I can get quite ill with infections though I never have on holiday, often on return home.

I'm due to go in a few weeks and now have a uti. Time for it to be resolved but I now have yet another thing to declare to insurance.

I do agree that an element of catastrophising helps plan for all eventualities. Just wish it wasn't at 3am.

I do agree that an element of catastrophising helps plan for all eventualities. Just wish it wasn't at 3am

Oh captain, my captain!

I think for me it’s a combination of things. Some health issues have scared me, particularly when I have developed an ear infection in one holiday and a UTI on another. Being out of Europe complicates Everything and makes me panic. Covid killed all the joy for me with all the forms and testing and stress. Also Have to get a cat sitter for my cat when we previously had someone at home to look after her. Also worrying about family members who are experiencing difficulties. I worry about what might happen with them whilst I’m away. Plus the whole packing/cleaning/organising thing is just too much for me now .

Absolutely 💯

No. If I felt like that, I wouldn’t go.

I love going away but I do get a bit stressed leading up to it. Not because of the holiday but just getting everything ready and sorting the pets out. Once we've actually left the house that all goes away though.