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Original poster

Should I be worried?

31 replies

Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 00:43

My next door neighbour has a baby of 10 months and a new boyfriend who lives there 6 nights out of 7. They sit in the garden, in the dark, from getting home from work until 1am every single night drinking wine and he chain smokes. Baby is upstairs in her room. They sit out as her landlord doesnt allow smoking in the house-(meanwhile my house stinks of smoke) My concern is .....is it acceptable to leave a baby every night like that while they are drinking a couple of bottles of wine? Am i being old fashioned in that at least one adult should be in the house?

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 20/07/2023 01:23

Aren't they in their own garden? Don't they have a monitor?

peakedatseven · 20/07/2023 01:30

Do you mean while the baby is asleep? And would they be close enough to hear if the baby woke up?

windowof · 20/07/2023 01:43

I would be concerned if it's every night. Alcohol and being alert don't go together, even if it's wine. People seem to see it as socially acceptable to glug a glass or two of wine every night but it's impairing their reactions and judgement whether they realise it or not.
Smoking is also really dangerous if they're then going in and cuddling the baby, if they really are chain smoking then the poor baby will be breathing it in too off their clothes etc. Keep an eye and always listen to your gut.

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Families
Aquamarine1029 · 20/07/2023 01:44

Exactly how long are you spying on them to know exactly what they are doing, every second, every night?

It sounds like you need a hobby.

Original poster
Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:32

Wow, thats what you get from my post? The gardens are very small and are enclosed like a courtyard so sound travels, i have windows open and they sit 3 feet away from my back door! Never mind i guess you dont give a toss about a baby being subjected to that. Roll on

OP posts:
GoodChat · 20/07/2023 09:34

If the baby is asleep what is the issue?

tealandteal · 20/07/2023 09:35

I suppose it depends on what time they go out there? If they get home at 4pm and leave the baby alone upstairs then that’s not OK. If they are sitting out from say 8pm I don’t see how that is a problem, they could still hear the baby. Annoying about the smoke.

Gateappreciation · 20/07/2023 09:37

I’d be concerned as well. We always had one no -drinking parent on duty. One or two glasses, may not be so bad - maybe used for unwinding. But anymore and every night, not so good.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/07/2023 09:41

Are they drunk?

Original poster
Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:42

Its the 6 nights out of 7 they are there. She stays with friends 1 night a week. I am very concerned, 2 wine bottles are left at the bin area every day to be taken away. Shes also had a temper meltdown when little girl was crying hard last week. she got baby in the stroller and literally ran away from the house with her leaving the front door open. I only heard/saw that as i was weeding my garden.

OP posts:
Original poster
Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:43

Im guessing you say its acceptable

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 20/07/2023 09:45

Call SS if you are concerned.

HolHello · 20/07/2023 09:46

I'm wondering how you keep track?

You know it's 6/7 nights. Do you mark it down on a calendar?
You know what time they start drinking. What time they go to bed. How many glasses they're having. How many bottles are thrown away.

Tbh you sound like a nightmare.

I'm teetotal, always have been but drinking once the babies gone to bed isn't any of your business if she other wise looks healthy and taken care of.

Is she dirty? Is she ignored when she cries?

Do you have detailed logs of these things? 🤔

Original poster
Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:49

Babys room is on other side of the house. She has no monitor, doesnt like them. Only know that as her friend mentioned it.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 20/07/2023 09:51

Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:49

Babys room is on other side of the house. She has no monitor, doesnt like them. Only know that as her friend mentioned it.

It doesn't sound like you're worried, more just judgemental.

Have you ever heard baby crying at night and being ignored?

Pancakewaffle · 20/07/2023 09:51

If someone came on here asking if was acceptable to be drinking a bottle of wine a night outside while their baby slept upstairs, MN would turn on them instantly telling them they had a serious problem, need AA and clearly don't care about their child.

I'm not sure why everyone is so quick to say this is acceptable every single night.

Also, If they are going inside and then allowing their baby in bed with them, after booze and alcohol, that's a huge risk to the baby.

I'm not sure what you can do about it, but I don't think it's as acceptable as everyone here seems to think

Pancakewaffle · 20/07/2023 09:52

No baby monitor makes this 100x worse

Original poster
Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:52

2 bottles of wine, sometimes 3 every night?

OP posts:
JustMint · 20/07/2023 09:57

If you are worried then call social services or report to NSPCC

However you can’t force parents not to smoke or drink because they have a baby.

Many (not all) babies at ten months old are reliably sleeping through.

Do you know they are splitting the wine equally or is she just having one or two glasses?

Maybe they have a camera to see the baby?

RaininSummer · 20/07/2023 09:59

I don't think there is anything you can do other than keep an eye out for the baby's welfare but it doesn't sound great for a newish mum to be drunk every night and possibly prioritising a new boyfriend.

ThankTwixItsFriday · 20/07/2023 10:04

If you can hear the baby screaming and crying for the majority of the time they are out there and is being ignored, then you have a good reason to be worried.
If they are smoking outside to keep smoke away from the baby and no sound of a distressed baby then you are being unreasonable.
How do you know who is drinking what and when? How do you know the empty bottles aren’t an accumulation?. Or do you watch every glass that is drunk and by who?

GoodChat · 20/07/2023 10:12

If they are going inside and then allowing their baby in bed with them, after booze and alcohol, that's a huge risk to the baby.

The baby sleeps in their own room. There's absolutely no suggestion they're co-sleeping

Annipause · 20/07/2023 10:13

Wow, i cant believe some of the answers given! The poster is concerned about a neighbours baby is alone in a house, no monitor and the parent + boyfriend are drinking outside and ya'll are calling her out for bein nosey etc?? Thats disgusting!

I would be concerned too. What happens if something happens to the child-you would then all jump and say she wasnt a good neighbour by NOT stepping up and reporting your concerns to SS.

Please, either speak to mom about even getting a monitor for safety, could you babysit maybe? All else fails, call and get advice from SS

GoodChat · 20/07/2023 10:14

Isi1657 · 20/07/2023 09:52

2 bottles of wine, sometimes 3 every night?

Is there any suggestion, at all, that the baby is at any kind of risk, aside from personal judgment of their alcohol consumption?

Michellebops · 20/07/2023 10:43

Goodness some of the replies here ... 😱

No that is not acceptable and in the interest of the baby you can contact social services and anonymously raise your concerns.

The baby deserves better

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