Should I be worried?

[Isi1657]

My next door neighbour has a baby of 10 months and a new boyfriend who lives there 6 nights out of 7. They sit in the garden, in the dark, from getting home from work until 1am every single night drinking wine and he chain smokes. Baby is upstairs in her room. They sit out as her landlord doesnt allow smoking in the house-(meanwhile my house stinks of smoke) My concern is .....is it acceptable to leave a baby every night like that while they are drinking a couple of bottles of wine? Am i being old fashioned in that at least one adult should be in the house?

I'm not saying they are, but it is a possibility. How many parents do you know who put their baby to sleep in their own room and then they end up in their bed anyway? There's no way of knowing if this is happening or not, but it doesn't sit right with me (and I have a child and I'm not teetotal).

I don't think there's anything you can do, unless as PP are saying you hear clear signs of neglect

I'm not sure why nearly everyone on here seems to think 2 to 3 bottles of wine is normal for unwinding of an evening- regardless of whether there's a baby involved.
Baby may well have learned it's not worth crying as nobody comes anyway.
Can guarantee if this were a mum saying they drink wine every night in the garden, smoke and have no baby monitor, not one of you would be congratulating her on her great parenting approach.
If anything happened to the baby you would all be the first to go, "wHy DiD NoBoDy sAy SoMeThInG?"
Yet here's someone trying to say something before it reaches that point and you're all jumping on her and dismissing the idea that alcohol and cigarettes are being used around a baby along with neglect.

I love that last week there was a thread full of people saying they never ever have a drop of alcohol in the care of their children. And now everyone thinks 2nd/3rd hand smoke and binge drinking every night with a baby is totally fine.

Yes, you're right, it's worrying. Dh and I often sat out in the garden having a few drinks when ours were babies - with a monitor, not every night, not getting completely sloshed. I think as a special occasion, yes, fine. If it's every night, no it's not normal or healthy, but I don't know this is really the sort of thing that warrants SS involvement, though I agree it does sound like she needs support. Would it be possible to contact the local HV service? They likely have her on their radar, but they may be able to check in with her more regularly.

That's an odd thing to just mention and fits your narrative very conveniently.

I don’t agree that parents should be drunk in charge of a child and getting pissed in the garden every night is not great. Sorry but you can’t properly take care of a child when you’re drinking excessively. So yeah the set up isn’t ideal but unless you’re sure they’re definitely drunk and think the baby is in danger (rather than asleep) then I’d keep my thoughts to myself.

Whatever happened to minding your own business... your neighbours should be able to have a glass of wine in the garden without a bunch of busy bodies judging them because they have a 10 month old. As long as the baby isn't screaming all night at the same time they are outside having said glass of wine what's the issue here?