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Original poster

Was my answer annoying and AIBU

64 replies

Totalk · 19/07/2023 19:52

Yesterday, at dinner table, DS, DD and me are sat having our own bowl of soup noodles, Hubby comes along, sits to have dinner (his own bowl of soup noodles) and looks at me and asks, “Does anyone want more of this”. I replied, If you want to have the rice and curry in the kitchen (leftover from yesterday) you can have that. He then just stomps off and bangs the door behind him.
Today he comes home with allergy (never had them before) and I ask him, what he had eaten, and he replies some Kebabs (frozen supermarket) for packed lunch and “
MY NOODLES” (which he had yesterday night in addition to the leftover curry and rice)

Was I unreasonable to be offended by his behaviour last night and now
implying that, there was something wrong with the soup noodles I made?

OP posts:

CatchHimDerry · 19/07/2023 23:14

1stepforward2stepsback · 19/07/2023 23:09

I’m envisioning a table of pink knitted Clangers eating Soup Dragon’s soup and blue string pudding.

😂

Bumcake · 19/07/2023 23:18

I’m imagining soup noodles as being pho. Other than that I don’t understand a word of what’s going on.

Sodie · 19/07/2023 23:19

Ok I think I know what happened.....by him saying does anyone want more (whilst staring at you) you felt he was implying that he didn't want the bloody soup noodles and was being passive aggressive. So you shut it down before it became a thing by saying have yesterday's curry and rice if you prefer?

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HundredMilesAnHour · 19/07/2023 23:23

My head hurts just reading this.

minou123 · 19/07/2023 23:25

Can you please go and ask him what he meant when he said "Does anyone want more of this"

Did he mean "I don't like this, do you want mine?"
Or did he mean "I like this, does anyone else want a second helping?".

I won't sleep otherwise

Greenfree · 19/07/2023 23:26

What have the allergy's got to do with it? I'm a bit confused why the noodles were even there if you had leftover curry and rice to eat? I donk think noodles are an ideal meal but I get if budgets only allow for noodles and veg as they are filling.

FrangipaniBlue · 19/07/2023 23:27

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 19/07/2023 21:35

I don't understand why him asking if anyone wanted more soup noodles made you assume he didn't want his and to offer him curry? That's not what he asked?

If my DP asked if anyone wanted more of what we were eating, it would be because he wanted more but didn't want to finish it if someone else wanted some too.

If he said to me 'does anyone want more X' I wouldn't just say 'there's left over Y in the fridge' If I did he'd interpret that as 'you're not allowed any more, go eat something else' which is a bit rude...

This is exactly how I read it and so I can understand why OPs DH "stomped off"!

Viviennemary · 19/07/2023 23:28

Dont understan your post at all. Was he asking for more noodles. Was there more noodles. Its not very clear.

CloverHilla · 19/07/2023 23:33

1stepforward2stepsback · 19/07/2023 23:09

I’m envisioning a table of pink knitted Clangers eating Soup Dragon’s soup and blue string pudding.

I haven't a clue what's going on! But I just keep hearing Joey from Friends when he's unable to day soup and just keeps saying mmmm....Noodle Soup

Caoilte · 19/07/2023 23:44

NoHallSouth · 19/07/2023 21:41

You sound like my MIL. I can't ask a question without her assuming I actually mean something else. Because she never directly says what she wants, it's all smoke and mirrors, she thinks everyone else operates like that too and looks for hidden meanings in everything I say.

Anyway. If I've read it right, next time I'd just answer the question you're asked, not the question you're assuming you've been asked.

And stop repeating soup noodles!😁

Oh, god, that is my mother. She was taught it “wasn’t polite’ to say what you wanted, so she assumes everyone else operates by similar rules, and that if they say no, they really mean yes and are only saying no because it’s ‘polite’. She greets ‘No thanks, I just had lunch’ as a coded request for a substantial meal, and I still remember her horror when, in my thirties, I accepted an aunts offer of a cup of tea first time around, rather than saying no several times first. Aargh.

Hibiscrubbed · 19/07/2023 23:58

No idea what happened, nor wtf ‘soup noodles’ are. I got semantic satiation from how many times I read the name, though.

Are they like a ramen?

InWalksBarberalla · 20/07/2023 01:11

Soup noodles is a pretty common term in describing asian cuisine. Many noodle dishes come 'dry' or as a soup in broth - hence soup noodles.
Could be anyone one of the endless variations -udon, ramen, soba, pan mee, yew mee, lanzhou, sichuan chonqing, etc

MeinKraft · 20/07/2023 01:17

His question was more annoying than your answer. Next time he asks a weird question try saying 'why?'

Finlesswonder · 20/07/2023 01:29

I think I can picture the scene but I have questions.

Why had you all started eating before he arrived at the table? Isn't it normal to all start together?

If he said does anyone want more of this as soon as he sat down, I'm guessing he wasn't asking because of seconds, he was asking because he didn't like the soup noodles, which is pretty rude. But its also pretty passive aggressive for you to say "well there's curry", why not just be direct and say "oh do you not like the noodles then?".

Why did he eat the noodles AND the curry if he didn't like the noodles?

Why if he has never had allergies before, did you ask him what he had eaten today when he came home with "an allergy". Like Why would you assume him looking/feeling rough would be an allergy?

Why did he have noodles last night AND bother taking some into work for lunch if he didn't like the noodles? Which makes me think...

When he said "does anyone want more of this?" He can't have been implying he didn't like them. Maybe he's one of those whose slightly greedy and he was already planning ahead to have seconds, and you saying "have curry then" felt really weird and random to him

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