If you could change it would you have your kids younger or older than the age you actually were?

[atolly]

What age were you, and would you change it? Just being nosey!

32 and 33 which I thought was about right. I was established in a secure well paying career and had bought a house before marrying and having babies (this was important down the track when the marriage fell apart!).

I'd travelled extensively and partied and done all the fun things young people do. But I was physically still young and well enough for pregnancy and child rearing.

Very pleased to be almost done with it in my early 50s, I'm running out of patience with it!

Had mine at 41 and 43, as I didn't meet my husband until I was 39.. I guess I'd have liked them a decade earlier, but my husband was still married to his first wife then!

26 & 29

Wouldn't change it. I was finished uni, brought a house, travelled a bit & settled in my career. Feel financially secure but also like now I'm done I've got time to pay off mortgage and enjoy them growing up. They'll be grown and gone before I'm out my 40s and I'll be mortgage free & enjoying freedom with DP again before we're old.

Hopefully we'll be in a financial position to help them into the property ladder once we retire etc.

First when I was 21
Others 34 to 37

Without any doubt younger! So much easier

I had mine at 37 and 39. I would have loved to have them younger but didn't meet my DH until I was 32.

32 and 37. Wish I had them a 4-5 years sooner.

I was 38 and 40. On balance I should have started earlier - maybe 33/34.

23 & 26 with mine, now not quite 40 with a 16 & 13 year old!
I wouldn't change anything, I can't imagine having a baby at the age I am now but maybe if I didn't already have my family I would.

I was 37 and 42. I wish I had them earlier (ideally 5 years or so) and a smaller gap but realistically I am not sure how. It took me that long to get my life. on track enough to be responsible for other humans. I'm not sure if I would have been a good mum when I was younger. I also had a couple of miscarriages between them hence the large age gap.

More than me I so, so wish my parents were younger. My parents had me late as well and are now in their 80s. Till recently they were incredibly fit and my mum was even able to help with the kids. They love the kids so much and I wish they would have had more time with them. I've been hoping that they will hang around for long enough for the kids to remember them. The oldest will but the youngest probably won't. My dad is in very bad shape and I'm scared he will never see the kids in person again. Even now when he's so ill the only thing that seems to make him perk up a bit is to see the kids on the phone (they live abroad). I'm also really struggling with the fact that I can't help out my parents as much as I'd like to because I have such small children.

I hope you are ok. 💐

I had mine at 32 & 38. Didn’t meet dh till I was 31. MCs in between the two & I was advised no more after no 2 due to health reasons. Ideally I’d have lived 3 or 4 but my body had other ideas.

I had mine at 42, would have been nice to have had her earlier but that’s not the way life panned out. Beyond grateful that she’s here at all.

It’s interesting that a lot of posters wished they had a slightly smaller age gap.

First at 31, hoping for second at 33/34 (I'm 32 now). I expected TTC to take much longer - had I known it would be so quick for me, I would have waited one more year as we missed out on some big travel plans due to covid then pregnancy. But equally, if we'd waited and it hadn't been easy, I'd probably regret that, plus my DD wouldn't be my DD and so on balance I wouldn't change it!

29 and 34. Wish I had both of them before I turned 30 though.

Younger like our dc has.

Tricky. I was 24 for my first which was probably a bit young. Like @Dacadactyl though I wonder if I would have been better off waiting because having a child gave me the focus to push myself earlier than I think I would have otherwise.

I think ideally I would have been settled in my career with a nicely done family home and have enjoyed my relationship first but not got so settled that the change was a big shock. For me that maybe would have been 28 or so. That would also have meant enjoying lockdown instead of battling work and 2 toddlers!

I had mine at 22 and 26 (first one wasn't planned though). I'm glad I had mine when I did, I'm 42 now and I watch a friend's 1yo twice a week and it's a real struggle for me now compared to when mine were young.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago and I'm now on medication for a heart condition which I couldn't take during pregnancy so I think if I had waited to have kids I wouldn't have had any at all.

38 and happy with that!

18 with DD1, 31 with DD2.

Would of loved to have them close together but didn't meet DH until i was 25 and DD1s father was a total knob! Now pregnant with DC3 age gap will be 2.8 years which is ideal for me.

18 with my one and only.

Would I change it. I never know how to answer that. It's all I've ever known. I guess I wish I'd had him under different circumstances, but I wouldn't change anything about my life.

I was 28 and 31, no.

I had my first at 30 and my second at 32. Hoping for a third/final baby maybe when I'm 34! I wouldn't change any of my ages as I was able to spend my 20s studying, then doing loads of child-free travelling, socialising and establishing my career. We had time to buy a first home, and then sell to buy a bigger 4 bed family home before we had our first so we felt very ready. Will be ideally be finished with extortionate childcare fees before I'm 40 and should be finished paying our mortgage off by the time I'm 50 so should hopefully be well timed 🤞

I was 21 and 24. And I think that was perfect for me.

It defined my life, and now at 35 ive got two amazing kids, a beautiful home I own and a career that can only go up.

I'm looking at my friend who is deciding whether to TTC baby number 2, knowing it will stall her career permanently, if she takes a years leave. I didn't have that issue as it hadn't started.

I also love travelling with the kids, and exploring and growing with them.

I had mine at 25 and 35. Something like 28 and 33 would've been better.

I was 32 when my daughter was born. I would have liked to have been younger but I wasn’t ready until then. Still not ready for a second but definitely feeling like time is running out as I don’t want to pregnant after 35.