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Original poster

If you lent someone your holiday apartment for a week would you expect a token thank you gift?

76 replies

absmckabsbba · 18/07/2023 14:46

My cousin and her partner and his two teenage children have asked to use our apartment in Cornwall for a few days in September. Would you expect them to pay or at least contribute towards their utility bills while they are there?

OP posts:
Canthave2manycats · 18/07/2023 14:46

Yes.

Spidey66 · 18/07/2023 14:48

Yes.
mates rates maybe, but you still have to pay utilities, cleaning, linen hire etc.

myveryownelectrickitten · 18/07/2023 14:48

Yes - if you weren’t asking them to pay, I’d expect them to at least offer an amount to cover utility bills and any routine cleaning expenses. Plus a rather nice — not token — gift!

Spidey66 · 18/07/2023 14:49

I used to own a holiday let in Cornwall and made it clear mates rates were not available at peak time

Cyclingforcake · 18/07/2023 14:50

My cousin has a holiday place. We always at least cover the utilities, and leave a couple of bottles of something.

PrudenceDictates · 18/07/2023 14:50

Yes! They should offer. If they don't, ask! At least enough to cover expenses, cleaning.

We have an apartment in Spain that we keep VERY quiet. Don't want to get into this situation!

LeonoraFlorence · 18/07/2023 14:51

Honestly, no but people always do give gifts/tokens of thanks. We really don’t need anything and I would rather they didn’t! Just happy family/friends an have nice holidays there too.

User6424678852 · 18/07/2023 14:52

It depends on your family dynamic, and whether there is something similar where you expect them to reciprocate.

For example if they are using your apartment, but then later in the year they will provide your DC with an internship … and then you will dog-sit for them, but later they will pick you up from the airport 2 hours away … etc … etc. in that scenario it’s ridiculous for each family to always be buying the other family gifts.

If it’s a one-off and you don’t normally do things for each other then either you should be clear on “mates rates” cost, or they should buy a nice gift as a thank you.

purplecorkheart · 18/07/2023 14:52

THey should at least cover Utilities and cleaning. I would also expect them to cover any costs like taking their rubbish to the tip etc.

Also if it was me I would leave at least a couple of good wines and or a voucher for a local restaurant etc.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 18/07/2023 14:53

They should, but some don’t.

I just keep in mind who didn’t bother to contribute to what they cost, and those that don’t clean it back to the standard they found it in (the very least you can do when you’re getting it for free!) and it’s always busy when they ask in future.

purpleboy · 18/07/2023 14:53

Yes it's just respectful, we're using my nephews house in Monaco and have offers to pay for our stay, he refused so I offered to pay for the cleaner, he again refused so I think we will leave the cash for the cleaner on the counter anyway and buy him in some champagne and a couple of tickets to the Monaco game.

We also have a place in spain, when DD used it with her BF we just told her to pay the cleaner, same with SIL.

saraclara · 18/07/2023 14:54

I would make it clear that they would need to contribute to utilities, and if you have a cleaner come in after each let, that they would need to cover that.

Beyond that, a bottle of wine or something would be nice, but not expected.

SiobhanSharpe · 18/07/2023 14:54

An apartment for four people in Cornwall in September would set you back several hundred pounds, if not more, depending on how long it would be for. So I think they should pay an amount to cover utilities, laundry (unless they are bring their own bedding etc) plus a bit more, or a decent thank you gift.
Unless they were really on their uppers. Even then, a token of some kind would be appropriate.

Ragwort · 18/07/2023 14:55

Yes of course but best to avoid any awkwardness by clearly stating when they asked ... 'you are welcome to use it on the understanding that you cover the cost of utilities, insurance, laundry and cleaning which will be £X for the week'. Make it absolutely clear ... you don't want them to say something like 'oh we'll take our own linen & give it a good clean before we leave'.
That way it is clear on both sides and you avoid any misunderstanding on both sides.

And did they actually ask or did you offer?

saraclara · 18/07/2023 14:55

User6424678852 · 18/07/2023 14:52

It depends on your family dynamic, and whether there is something similar where you expect them to reciprocate.

For example if they are using your apartment, but then later in the year they will provide your DC with an internship … and then you will dog-sit for them, but later they will pick you up from the airport 2 hours away … etc … etc. in that scenario it’s ridiculous for each family to always be buying the other family gifts.

If it’s a one-off and you don’t normally do things for each other then either you should be clear on “mates rates” cost, or they should buy a nice gift as a thank you.

Oh yes. Good post. There's all the difference between a one off favour, and a family where helping each other out regularly is concerned.

DameMargaretofChalfont · 18/07/2023 14:57

I would definitely expect them to pay something towards their stay.

TBH you need to act decisively now to avoid any misunderstandings regarding costs.

If you're happy for them to stay I suggest you reply along the lines of: -

"Yes those dates are free. I have a special family rate of £xxx per night to cover cleaning, electricity, rent etc. I always ask for payment in full 1 week before the holiday date. Would you definitely like to book it?"

Keep it on a professional level.
By doing this everyone knows exactly where they stand.

Original poster
absmckabsbba · 18/07/2023 14:57

LeonoraFlorence · 18/07/2023 14:51

Honestly, no but people always do give gifts/tokens of thanks. We really don’t need anything and I would rather they didn’t! Just happy family/friends an have nice holidays there too.

I would be happy with this too but the
Issue is that it's more my partners appartment than mine ( inheritance) but we said they could use it but we would appreciate if they could help with their share of their costs (especially as the boys will be charging phones, PlayStation etc etc)

OP posts:
Flipin · 18/07/2023 15:00

You'll need to ask if you expect it. Given that it isn't yours I think it's fair enough to ask for a contribution.

coxesorangepippin · 18/07/2023 15:01

I'd expect them to offer to pay or leave a good gift i.e. wine, an m and s voucher

steppemum · 18/07/2023 15:06

Think about how much you think is reasonable.
Then reply to them with an amount. - really happy for you tp stay there, we think £xxx is fair to cover the expenses/celaner etc.

In my experience it is much better to state how much.
If you genuinely don't mind, then fine, say that, but don't say we don't wnat anything and then be upset when they don't leave you something

AndyMcFlurry · 18/07/2023 15:12

Do what @DameMargaretofChalfont said.

User6424678852 · 18/07/2023 15:19

absmckabsbba · 18/07/2023 14:57

I would be happy with this too but the
Issue is that it's more my partners appartment than mine ( inheritance) but we said they could use it but we would appreciate if they could help with their share of their costs (especially as the boys will be charging phones, PlayStation etc etc)

Show quote history

Charging phones is literally less than 10p per day, so if the cost of running it is that tight for you then you absolutely should be clear about what costs you want from them.

Oceanus · 18/07/2023 15:22

I would ask my cousin to lend me an apartment, I wouldn't ask or expect my cousin's partner to lend me their apartment. That's being cheeky, so I would absolutely think a fee is more than appropriate. Electricity and water cost money. If they expect it for free and get pissy about it I would probably make sure the partner's already lend it to somebody else for those dates. If it were my cousin's flat a gift would be fine but given it's somebody else's flat a fee is warranted I think.

AIBUNoNoNo · 18/07/2023 15:23

Please just be very clear. We've just had a lovely week at DH's colleagues holiday home.

It was immaculate when we arrived, we left it immaculate. They left and we replenished generous amounts of housekeeping supplies. We left extra wine & chocolate in the fridge.

DH & I have had lots of conversations about whether to offer money, insist, etc but just hope that our gratitude is enough since they didn't say directly £x00 please per week.

We are planning an extension to host visitors, we will be very clear!

Original poster
absmckabsbba · 18/07/2023 15:29

So to be clear my husband ( we) own it outright so no mortgage but we still have bills to pay. I think because cousin knows there's no mortgage on the property then it's free. I have no real issue with them being there but I think they should pay towards usage and I suppose a little appreciation gift would be welcome.

OP posts: