Tell me it's ok to throw some of my late mums things away.

[Glitterbiscuits]

She died 20 years ago. I'm hanging on to things like her old address book and huge Christmas card list because it's her handwriting.
All I'm doing is leaving a problem for my own children aren't I?
I have thrown away photos that are not named. No one else to ask.

How do you know what to keep and what to throw away? I am not blessed with storage and have 3 DC of my own. I don't envy them the task of sorting my own stuff out. My old school books? Teenage diaries?

If I keep the birthday cards mum wrote to me what happens when I'm dead? She died before DC were born so they don't have any sentimental feelings for someone they never knew.

I wish Id never started having a clear out!

It's ok to thrown them out OP. It's ok to feel attached. There's a middle ground that only you will know. If it's a couple suitcases in the loft causing no trouble and it's keeping you happy then keep them. Your kids will chuck them and it won't be a "trouble" for them

Thank you everyone.

I am quite drawn to the idea of 'Swedish Death Cleaning' it's probably something I should read about.
I'm conscious my kids will have so much of my crap to go through
I had the Marie Kondo book but could not seem to manage it work.
I think I'm a lifelong recycler so I'm always holding on to things - just in case!

I'm going to scan mum's Christmas card list. Then shred it. I also have her address book to get rid of. It's the little things that are tucked away that I find tricky. I wish shed had something to leave me, like some jewellery or a particular ornament she cherished so I had something to remember her by. Something to look at and smile. But c'est la vie...

I kept the last birthday card my Mum sent to me with a lovely message in saying she hoped all my birthdays would be very happy and that I'd have a lovely life. She knew she was dying then. I found it hard but took photos of lots of things and threw them out. The thing that hurt the most was my DS deleted a message from my Mum to me on our family answerphone without realising it was there. I would love to still hear her voice. Keep special bits, take photos of other stuff and let it go.

Yes, you have to ❤️.
I'm almost 50 and have started being ruthless as I don't want my DS burdened with it when I die.

Mum's wooden spoons I use almost every day, her ancient iron saucepans every week. They remind me of her more than her wedding album which I had never seen. It felt wrong to bin it but they aren't my memories and I'll never look at it (she didn't either). I did my best to make sure that anything that was useful found a new home, the unlabelled photos and birthday telegrams from 1954 went straight in the bin.

If it's painful to part with something then it isn't time yet, box it up and write the date on the box. If you know that you've not looked in there in a year (5,10, whatever) you might feel easier about parting with the contents.

I'd rather burn stuff than put in the bin. Seems more respectful to me somehow. Think of the loved one as it turns to smoke and drifts away.

OP, that's a such a difficult thing to do, but at some point it happens. My mother had kept diaries/event log for many years. It was not "personal" stuff, more a record of things that happened, often farm/work related. In additional to taking photos, I scanned those documents to have digital copies. I'm so glad I did.