I feel I have a disproportionate number of people who have cut me out of their lives, compared to most folk and I am trying to work out if I am the problem... I'm 41, have a very happy marriage, two kids, and good career. I've a small group of very good long-standing friendships. BUT I have several relationships in my life which have gone sour, including family such as my sil, where we are no longer on speaking terms. I spend a lot of time analysing and thinking about these relationships and have sought to repair them but often at a miss of what really went wrong. I was recently diagnosed with ASD and ADHD which I wonder if is part of it - may be I am just good at this stuff. I've never been good at small talk or people pleasing. I am fiercely loyal but also very honest - if someone asks me my opinion, I give it honestly, only realising after that most of the time people don't want your actual opinion. I know people find me hard work at parties etc as I am not good a frivolity and struggle with really busy places, but I love spending time with friends one to one or in a really small group on walks etc. I also know I can be intense and then quiet for months and really trying to address this. Two good friends in past 10 years have ghosted me - there was no real fight or disagreement, just suddenly they stopped contacting or replying. These two didn't know each other and the ghosting was completely separate, and it has really hurt me over the years, especially one of them who was bridesmaid at my wedding and I at hers. With her our lives drifted apart when we had children and her and her husband didn't want children - not a problem just life priorities and what we did changed so we saw each other less - then it just stopped in covid. I've tried following up after but always very short or cool replies, so ended up just leaving it. I have a troubled relationship with my sister - from my perspective because I think she is very manipulative of my parents, and a non-existence relationship with sil. Sil has a history of ghosting people and her and I had a falling out over an issue which I still stand by so I am not so sad about that relationship... but in short I suppose I am asking do others muddle through life always getting on with everyone or is it common to have these complex or ended/dead relationships. I wish friendships were like partner relationships, when they ended, you both agreed and it was final... the rest just complicates it all!