Do your adult sons text you much?

[upandmumming]

My mum and I text each other randomly, pointless little things really, not full conversations but just regular back and forth, sharing what we're doing or a random thought. I know a few friends do similar with their mums.

I'm a mum of boys, and I wonder if it's the little things like this I perhaps won't get? I don't want my kids to be glued to me my whole life, but it'd be nice to remain close. They are currently very little and in the centre of their entire universe so the thought of them one day being like my husband and barely communicating with their mum makes me a bit weepy!

Mine do. My one at Uni texts just to see how I am as well as when he wants something. My one still at home texts me gifs or rants when his train is delayed etc.

Nope hardly ever.. though he calls dh (his stepdad) regularly!!

I think it's personality not sex.
DD1 calls most days for a chat, but she's just come out of a horrible marriage and needs support ..she's 300 miles way so I can only get down there every month or so.
DS1.. is in Australia. Generally texts me 'love you!' every week and every couple of weeks we have a nice long facetime where we catch up. We were very close before he left (permanently ..married a lovely Aussie) but he was never great at texting!
DD2.. quick text most days, but she's local and I look after the toddler so it's mostly practical stuff
DS2... almost impossible to contact ...just as well he is still at home!!!

Rarely but we (me, adult DS, adult DD), have a group messenger and we tend to chat on there.

I have a son (26) and a daughter (24). Daughter replies to messages fairly quickly. Son leaves my messages unread for days. Neither of them text me first very often. There is nothing wrong between us - we have a great time when we get together - but they both lead really busy and exciting lives, so they aren't texting their Mum all the time. I think that's the way it should be, really. You soon get used to it, and you have to build your own life up when children leave home. DH and I have really busy jobs, and when we are off work we travel long haul.

Yes every day without fail. He always says good morning and goodnight. We compete at quordle daily so one of us texts with our score that day. It's never reams of text but just a quick message. He pops in once a week mostly. My dd texts much the same as well no real difference between them.

Me and my brothers text mum equally, but I get what you mean, many men aren't into random texting. But lots of daughters aren't either.

I hope my boys will be different.. their generation more into phones, social media, I'm very relaxed and open and jokey with them so hope to create a chilled relationship, already doing it while they're young.. I'm a gamer so game with them and we share things we enjoy. We share memes.
I think parent/child relationships in older generations mostly had a big invisible barrier between them. I remember how my dad was with us, lovely man but big seperation there. Mum distanced self once we got to teenage years as didn't know how to bond. More stuffy relationships where parents didn't want to be shown up, had completely separate interests

I feel my generation (38) and younger are completely different with their kids on the whole.. we can be silly, really get on their level, more open with saying we love them. My boys dad is the same, totally bonded to them in a completely different way to his dad was and my dad.

So in summary I think be loving, share interests, get on their level, don't be a nag, don't be an angry parent

My worst nightmare is my only child moving country. I think I'd fall apart ....

I think the difficulty for males comes in when they have a partner and children. So much moaning on here by young women about the interfering role of the MIL that I cannot see many of you happy with text conversations between mother and son! In my case I text my daughter a fair bit of random stuff and we speak on phone about once a week. Has been more but only because she was on sick leave. Essentially my sons are not very good at keeping in contact unless it benefits them in some way.

No.
I have two. One whatsapps me and once he starts he doesn't stop, then I don't hear fro him in ages.
The other will call and ask if I'm home, and then come over for whatever reason, parks himself on the couch and chats away for a good hour or more, then disappears again for weeks.
Dd hasn't left yet.

My brother does join in on the group chat on WhatsApp but we can go days without hearing from him 😂

He is going home for a visit and my mum was very concerned - she thought something must be wrong!

My DS moved out yesterday and he hasn't messaged me yet - the disrespectful sod 😂

my ds doesn't. In fact he muted the family group chat.

But he's autistic and doesn't really do mindless chit chat. He texts for a reason.

He lives more locally than my dds though so I see him pretty frequently.

My DS messages me his every thought. He also thinks of me as Google or something similar and will message questions that he could easily just find out for himself. He's 41! It drives me bloody bonkers. I must be the only mother who wishes her son didn't message so often.

Mine only sends me functional messages.

I don't have a relationship with my mum at all so I don't text her.

I don't send pointless little texts to anyone. Even with DH it's all about dealing with shopping or the house.

I have 3 adult sons. Two of them regularly text and send gifs etc. The other one phones at least weekly. Think it is more down to their individual personalities than the fact they are male - just different preferences re how to communicate

When they want something...

And to add - we have a family chat that all 3 boys use regularly to poke fun at me and their dad

Every day, on and off throughout the day. We speak every other day and have a longer call at weekends. We are very close though.

I don't text my mum that much, I don't enjoy lengthy phone calls either. My brother sees her most days and they are in contact every day

Everyday, usually more than once. My phone is full of pictures of DS1’s
little dog because he treats him like his baby! Even when he’s out of the country, he’s in the army, I get a message daily of possible. Our “thing” is sending funny instagram reels to each other, it has been for years, so I hope that never stops.

DS2 is the same. At least a message a day. He and DDIL are expecting their first baby so the messages, calls and FaceTimes have ramped up. DDIL messages me all the time too.

I don’t think it’s a sex thing tbh.

My boys are both toddlers but I'd like to think they will. I have 2 brothers (both in their 30's), one messages and/or calls my mum daily. No one really hears from the other one from one week to the next. However, if we call him, he answers. If we txt him, he replies quickly, and if we need a favour, he's always there (as we are for him).

I feel my generation (38) and younger are completely different with their kids on the whole.. we can be silly, really get on their level, more open with saying we love them.

Had to pick up on this @QueefQueen80s
I'm 20 years older than you and my relationship with my son is really no different . As adults we go to gigs, pubs together. As do many of my friends and their children, and DS's friends and their parents .

My husband phones his mum every couple days. Her eyesight is bad and she struggles to read messages so he never texts her but does send loads of photos and videos of her grandchild.

Sorry I didn't mean your age, my parents are late 70s. I'm sure there are exceptions in what I've said but think it's true generally, you only have to read mumsnet and posters relationships with their parents.