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Original poster

Fed up at how unaffordable life feels

55 replies

mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 11:56

We havent had a great year so far

We are on the lower end of average earners and have had a really expensive year, my partner has had to pay just over £3000 for a qualification - course and exams - to progress with work (he applied for funding and they gave him a grand total of £100 towards it). We have just had a car repair bill for over £1000. The washing machine broke. We needed new chest of drawers x3 as the cheaper ones we bought were falling apart. We dealt with pregnancy loss at the beginning of the year. It’s just been so, utterly crap. I guess these are normal life things but I just seem to have a very low resilience threshold.

We were viewing properties and felt excited to get on the property ladder but weve stopped now as the climbing interest rates mean we’d be paying at £700 a month more for a mortgage than what we pay in rent. We haven’t got that £700, not if another unexpected bill comes up

I need to reframe my thinking, we have food on the table, we can pay all the essentials bills and thankfully have our health and our loved ones. Grateful for this. It’s just stuff and just money and it comes back.

I have just hated watching the small savings pot that we had diminish so much, amongst other things! Is anyone else feeling fed up at the moment?

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 06/07/2023 12:04

It's not so much fed up, as a little bit scared. As a retiree, we're on a fixed income which is enough to get by on in normal circumstances. But my car insurance has just trebled, the cooker developed a gas leak and had to be closed off so needs replacing, and 2 big rooms needed new carpet (at just under £1000)! What's next I wonder, and how will we manage?

Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 12:07

Dillydollydingdong · 06/07/2023 12:04

It's not so much fed up, as a little bit scared. As a retiree, we're on a fixed income which is enough to get by on in normal circumstances. But my car insurance has just trebled, the cooker developed a gas leak and had to be closed off so needs replacing, and 2 big rooms needed new carpet (at just under £1000)! What's next I wonder, and how will we manage?

That sounds awful. You shouldn’t have to work hard your whole life and then have these types of worries, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. The anxiety of it / the unpredictability is really quite horrid isn’t it?

OP posts:
Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 12:17

It’s just awful having that anxiety all the time

OP posts:

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General money
OneGlamMama · 06/07/2023 12:25

I'm with you OP.

I'm worrying about how I'm even going to be able to afford school uniform as I've literally only got my July pay to actually buy them as he won't have time if I buy them with my august pay. Yet I don't have the disposable income.

Birthdays, anniversaries, household etc Then the 6 weeks holidays; paying for entertainment and things to do.
I have no idea how I'm going to cope.

Yet I should feel thankful we have the money to afford rent, bills and things. I just struggle to be able to live a life nowadays!!

Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 12:50

OneGlamMama · 06/07/2023 12:25

I'm with you OP.

I'm worrying about how I'm even going to be able to afford school uniform as I've literally only got my July pay to actually buy them as he won't have time if I buy them with my august pay. Yet I don't have the disposable income.

Birthdays, anniversaries, household etc Then the 6 weeks holidays; paying for entertainment and things to do.
I have no idea how I'm going to cope.

Yet I should feel thankful we have the money to afford rent, bills and things. I just struggle to be able to live a life nowadays!!

So tough especially before the summer holidays too x

OP posts:
BrasAndGuitars · 06/07/2023 12:56

I hear you. I’m amassing thousands of pounds worth of legal debt as I’m being sued by my deranged ex, all while struggling to pay my usual outgoings. I can’t afford anything extra like going out for a coffee, a takeaway, new clothes, or even a Netflix subscription. Apart from the legal fees, the only things I spend money on are a weekly grocery shop, mortgage and bills. I’m anxious all the time.

Mumtothreegirlies · 06/07/2023 12:57

We’re at worrying point too. Husband has his own estate agency and works literally 8am to 11-12pm at night 6-7 days a week. I’m a carer to our daughter who has cerebral palsy so can only work very minimal hours.
We’ve never bought anything new, so secondhand furniture, appliances always.
I shop at primark for essential clothing, Aldi for food. My car was £500 off eBay. If it needed £1000 worth of work doing I would never pay it.
I would say that despite how crappy your situation feels right now the fact you’ve been in a position to get hold of £3k for training, buy brand new furniture and £1k on car repairs, means you’re not doing so bad really. It’s not like you’re living hand to mouth.
im sorry for your loss x

snoozingbaby1476 · 06/07/2023 12:59

@mousemosaic if you contact your school they should have a provision to help with uniform. It's a legal requirement if you are in England

Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 14:05

snoozingbaby1476 · 06/07/2023 12:59

@mousemosaic if you contact your school they should have a provision to help with uniform. It's a legal requirement if you are in England

Sorry it’s not myself!

OP posts:
Miekle · 06/07/2023 14:16

We are not struggling, but we would be if we wanted to have any luxuries. We don't have any subscriptions, or nice phones, or holidays. We go out for coffee and cake maybe every two months. We aren't saving anything month to month at the moment.

So like you OP we are managing to keep going, paying bills and eating healthy food and stuff. But no extras. However I have to say it doesn't really bother me too much. I really love socialising just by visiting people at their houses or going for walks. I walk a lot with the buggy! Basically I'm saying to take pleasure in free things. It won't help with your house buying plans (but hopefully the interest rate issue is not going to last too much longer) but hopefully it will help with your enjoyment of life.

Sorry if that's all super obvious and you're already doing it. I don't mean to be patronising. It's just that the best things in life genuinely are free, and it sounds like you are lucky to have good friends and family.

I'm really sorry you lost your baby. I've lost one too and they're always in my mind. It's very hard.

Arcticapes · 06/07/2023 14:23

We were struggling so I took on an extra 12hr shift on a Sunday. That's an extra £480 a month. Not wonderful but I'd rather just put my energy into working a bit more than sat at home on a Sunday stressing about bills.

Backstreets · 06/07/2023 14:24

my outgoings (including my already high mortgage) increased by about £500 a month🙃on one salary. Within the span of a year, no major lifestyle change, just CoL. Not struggling though so I appreciate I’m lucky.

Kingsparkle · 06/07/2023 14:28

I’m with you OP. On paper we should be doing ok but with childcare fees, a mortgage that’s about to increase by £500 per month and everything else we don’t have much fun. I know there are people much worse off than us bit every time we think we will have a bit of money to spend something else crops up to absorb it. My student loan is about to end and I thought great we can save that money and book a holiday next year, but no that just got swallowed up by the mortgage increase. My car insurance has nearly doubled even though nothing has changed from last year. As I write this an email just came through telling me about another price rise for something else.

TeensToday · 06/07/2023 14:32

We have no savings and live month to month, usually over drawn by the end of the month. The price increases have got to ridiculous levels. I don’t know how people are meant to cope with it. It sucks the joy out of life because it’s about survival now instead of living. We used to be able to save, but there seems to always be something sucking up the entire months wage that is essential now or a price rise that tips us over the edge.

BestServedChilled · 06/07/2023 14:32

I’m earning well and feel I can’t stop in case everything turns even worse. I feel for all of you right on that brink with no room to cut back, and no way to raise your income.

just read another thread about spending time with family being the most important thing and “no one lies on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time at work”. But then… if you need to earn the money, what choice is there?

Arcticapes · 06/07/2023 14:40

@BestServedChilled I agree. I will do the Sunday shift for a few years if needs be. That extra £480 means I give my child a fab Saturday and I can afford a yearly holiday.
It's not an ideal situation but it's something we have to get used to.

BungleandGeorge · 06/07/2023 14:40

Presumably it’s those without debt or mortgage who are still spending and driving inflation? High interest rates are going to benefit some, I don’t really understand the current financial strategy tbh but agree that for some of the population life has become really tough

Sarfar45 · 06/07/2023 14:46

OneGlamMama · 06/07/2023 12:25

I'm with you OP.

I'm worrying about how I'm even going to be able to afford school uniform as I've literally only got my July pay to actually buy them as he won't have time if I buy them with my august pay. Yet I don't have the disposable income.

Birthdays, anniversaries, household etc Then the 6 weeks holidays; paying for entertainment and things to do.
I have no idea how I'm going to cope.

Yet I should feel thankful we have the money to afford rent, bills and things. I just struggle to be able to live a life nowadays!!

We've really started feeling the pinch too. If we get a big unexpected bill we will be in trouble. I'm in my 40s and never really felt this worried about money.

@OneGlamMama I got loads of my ds school uniform from vinted last year. Also post in the school fb group and ask if anyone has what you need for sale.

GotMooMilk · 06/07/2023 14:52

So with you OP. Feels like every month something comes up. Our savings have dwindled so feel we have no buffer. Terrified for our remortgage next year. We are both doing as many hours as possible but with no family support we are limited by childcare options. Such a hideous time. Next thing to cut out are kids swimming/gymnastics classes- must admit I had a big cry about this the other night. When we were planning our second child (conceived 2019) by now we should have been doing so much better financially. In reality money has never been tighter.

oreo2020 · 06/07/2023 14:52

I feel the pinch. Everything is second hand. My garden door handle broke, and my toilet cistern broke, and I am debating which one to repair first out of this month's pay. Very grim.

Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 15:25

GotMooMilk · 06/07/2023 14:52

So with you OP. Feels like every month something comes up. Our savings have dwindled so feel we have no buffer. Terrified for our remortgage next year. We are both doing as many hours as possible but with no family support we are limited by childcare options. Such a hideous time. Next thing to cut out are kids swimming/gymnastics classes- must admit I had a big cry about this the other night. When we were planning our second child (conceived 2019) by now we should have been doing so much better financially. In reality money has never been tighter.

I’m so sorry, it’s tough. I think when we try again we will only have one unless the world gets drastically cheaper, simply just for that reason

OP posts:
Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 17:26

oreo2020 · 06/07/2023 14:52

I feel the pinch. Everything is second hand. My garden door handle broke, and my toilet cistern broke, and I am debating which one to repair first out of this month's pay. Very grim.

It’s rubbish things have got to this stage

OP posts:
noctiscaelum · 06/07/2023 17:34

At least we live in a mild climate area, no war zone that we don't have to suffer so much. Looking at what's going on in the world, we have it easy, tbh.

Original poster
mousemosaic · 06/07/2023 17:41

BestServedChilled · 06/07/2023 14:32

I’m earning well and feel I can’t stop in case everything turns even worse. I feel for all of you right on that brink with no room to cut back, and no way to raise your income.

just read another thread about spending time with family being the most important thing and “no one lies on their deathbed wishing they had spent more time at work”. But then… if you need to earn the money, what choice is there?

It’s horrid and it really only affects those in the middle and those worst off.

OP posts:
DyslexicPoster · 06/07/2023 17:57

I have just found new school trousers on Vinted and some used school shoes on there too. My son is moving up to secondary and jumpers are £25 each! but none of the others need anything new. Im only going to buy him two jumpers, extra big to last years hopefully.

But it's a pain, this new way of thinking and spending. I'm loading £100 a week onto my Monzo account to buy all of my controllable costs. Food, petrol, coffees out etc. I have had a slow puncture for 3 months now. Just staying out of debt seems to be the key for me. Once I go overdrawn it goes TU very fast.

I want to service my heating and buy heated throws as winter was very hard. No money for that yet