Anyone else just hate working, no matter what the job is?

[DrSheppard]

I'm in a pretty good job right now - the people are nice enough, the pay is very good, the subject matter is relatively interesting and it's flexible (can mostly work from home). But each and every day I struggle. I've felt like this in every job I have, and I've had a fair few! I dislike the routine of work. I dislike meetings and emails and workshops. I hate going into the office especially - I hate the glaring lights, sitting at a desk all day and the feeling of being boxed in. Even in the best of jobs I've had, this feeling never goes away.

I just don't care about work, frankly. I do what I need to do and always get great performance reviews, but I have zero investment in the outcome of what I do. Every day when I log off I breathe a sigh of relief, but the thought of doing this for the next 30+ years is awful. Sometimes I think about retraining but I really don't know if that'd 'fix' it, since I'm already in a well-paid and comfortable role and I've already dabbled in a fair few types of roles. Does anyone else feel this way?

@FoodFann

Well my mother was a mental health nurse and she had a very long and successful career that she was truly sad to retire from. She was the first nurse ever to be seconded by the NHS because she was so talented and she lived and breathed it for her whole entire life. She had a lot of status and recognition by the end of her career.

When we were growing up it was all “I love work” “find your passion” “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”…..well guess what? I hate work. I think I expected to love it just as much as her so the fact I haven’t was a little bit of a shock.

I’ve also taught and the ridiculous expectations, behaviour and ofsted sucked the joy out of it all. I don’t think it’s quite so simplistic as listening to what our parents thought of work.

Would hate wfh or office drudge though, David Graeber had a point about bullshit jobs.

He so did; it's a great book.

Thing is though, even lots of jobs (like mine) that aren't bullshit jobs have become them or have vast bullshit components. I work (broadly) across health and education, two really big and important areas, not bullshit at all. But actually all I do these days is sit in teams meetings where nothing ever actually gets done, or it gets done and then ignored, or fucking 'task-and-finish groups' where we write action plans and 'operationalise key objectives' or some such utterly pointless toss. Constant busywork.

And I've been around long enough now to know that there are literally no new ideas and a good 80% of what I do makes fuck all difference to anything in the end.

And these are jobs which, technically, should be making a meaningful difference. As OP says: There is something so off with the set-up of work fundamentally.

Definitely going to buy that bullshit jobs book though.

@SatelliteStomper

Spot on. There is a reason teachers and nurses are leaving their professions in droves and it’s not all centred around pay. Schools are now run like businesses with the intro of multi academy trusts. You know something went very very wrong when you were shitting yourself about asking for another packet of paper, yet the CEO of the trust sat there on a ridiculously high 6 figure salary. In the end the paper was locked away and only the head had a key to it. It’s this sort of bullshit that drains you along with many, many other examples.

You. The OP obviously expects to sack off her job and you personally will be paying all her bills.

or you could read the thread and see that this isn’t what people are talking about

I think some people really find fulfilment from working and that’s great. For me I try and find work that is relatively interesting and with nice people but it doesn’t give me meaning. It’s annoying to be stuck in the machine but I have to pay the bills!

No, I love my job and have worked full time for 40 years. Its fulfilling and interesting and at this stage financially rewarding.
However I know I'm going to have to go part time soon as I can barely walk upstairs due to painful arthritis and the medication no longer works.
I am terrified at the thought of losing it and not being able to work.
I have hobbies and friends but its not the same as the comraderie at work.

I just think you are in the wrong job OP. What is your real passion?

I can see that you mean well here, but there's an underlying assumption from some people that everyone's going to feel the same as they do about paid labour. That there's going to be something that a person will not only be passionate about but be happy with that being their job too.

The fact is that for some people, it being a job is the problem.

@Gettingbysomehow

But surely if you’re terrified to leave work you’ve placed your whole identity upon it? I also think the whole ‘what is your passion’ is part of the problem. My passion is doing what the fuck I want, when I want, with the people I love. Doesn’t pay the bills though 🤣.

@BodegaSushi forever is probably a bit of a stretch 😂

But happy to carry on for just as many years as I've done already (26)

Yep, that has been me my entire life, then I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 31 and everything made sense! I've spent my adult life battling burnout and feeling like I never quite "got" what I was supposed to be doing, so no matter how long I was in the role, I felt like I was in constant fight-or-flight. Plus, rejection sensitive dysphoria (common in ADHDers) means the second I'm given the most minor criticism or make a small mistake, I feel like the world is ending and I'm so humiliated, I start looking for a new job. Every new job was going to be The One That Changes Everything but after the initial period of hyperfixation wore off, I was back on my bullshit.

I got a new job last year in an area that has always interested me and FINALLY, I don't mind going to work. I have my own office where I can sit in low lighting, wear headphones all day and nobody (including the boss) cares what I'm doing, so long as my work is good/on time.

Said it all and more but it won't happen. I've been in the job 13 years and staffing was the same before I started and it's got busier over the years. I only work 2 1/2 days a week, 25 hours so I'm off work more than I'm in.

Absolutely! I've often felt like a freak because I've hated almost all the jobs I've had. I've had a lot of varied jobs, gone from a 'good career' back to entry level stuff, and I've hated most of it (except a few of the exciting bits). I'm so glad it's not just me!

I've found it was office jobs I detest with a passion: the monotony, the clinical environment (or office clutter!) the routine, authority, the fakeness as a pp put it, the fact it often feels pointless. And I hate working with the public! The only job I've actually liked was an outdoor job at an attraction I love but even then I'd get fed up and obviously left.

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago after struggling with things and a lot of stuff made sense suddenly, do you think you might be ND, OP? Might not be the case but just a possibility

I've always had low paid work . I can't seem to break into admin / receptionist which I know I could do . Tbh I had two cleaning jobs and I've loved them . I really enjoy cleaning and the freedom I get . No one bothers the cleaner , plus I got my holidays when I wanted them , no pressure or stress just go home and switch off .

My job was my passion! When I started (I retrained in my 30s) I was absolutely 100% completely committed to it. I thought it was the most important job in the world and I was so, so lucky to do it. It's the kind of job that always comes up on those 'what would be your dream job?' threads.

20 years on the bullshit has taken over and now I'm just utterly worn down. But when I search for other jobs (which I do often) of a similar salary etc, they're all the same.

I could give up work and become a gardener. But I'd lose my house. It's not realistic.

I've never enjoyed working. It feels like a prison to me.... I feel so trapped. Looking out of the window and seeing people walking past who aren't working at that particular moment makes me insanely jealous. I'd only ever work for money...no other reason ever

I agree with this.

I work to live. I'm lucky that I work with mostly nice people, it is flexible and that my job can be quite varied but if I didn't need the money I wouldn't be there.

I don't think it particularly needs changing though, it's really common. I turn up, do what I need to do and work as part of my team but that's it. I'm not working unpaid overtime or checking emails on my days off because I simply do not want to and am not paid to do that.

I focus on the positives. I'm getting out the house, I enjoy chatting to colleagues and the social side of work, I get to use my brain and most importantly I get paid. It's fine, but I get fulfilment elsewhere and outside of work.

@Comedycook

Me too. Always had the same feeling. At school I would clock who was manning the gates and at what times and then quickly leg it out of school all the way home. Freedom!!… even at that age. I suspect if I was at school now I may have been diagnosed with adhd but what good would it have done? It wouldn’t have changed me, or how I think and behave. I’m actually a really sociable person.

Maybe you need a more hands on job not jn an office. I couldn't work jn an office.

I love working but I spend my days with horses. My life is full of my passion. What is your passion and can you make
money from it? If I won the lottery my days would have the same structure but would just be full of shiny new things.

This is me . I have a very cushty job , great hours, yes it's challenging and rubbish pay but I get a lot of paid time off and I'm not held to any high expectations. I just ' get on ' I hate working though and the paycheck is literally the only reason I do it. I couldn't survive otherwise.
If I won the lotto I literally would never work again . Boredom or not

Me! I've tried various jobs. Have a career and also have a passion I've tried working in.
I just am not cut out to work. Now work pt and love my free time. I spend my free time mostly on enjoying new skills. This month I'm doing embroidery. Last month I did an oil painting course. Just having a wonderful time tbh.

I used to think I had to work to fulfil my life then I quit when I had small dc and realised how much I loved my life without work. I did volunteer work too when I was a sahm but even that wasn't for me.
I have to work pt otherwise I'd quit tomorrow!!

@ThreeRingCircus yes I agree, even when I was working for lovely charities it still didn’t fulfil me. My meaning comes out of genuine connection with friends and family. Sometimes I am lucky and connect with people at work and that makes it better.

You are right about focusing on the positives, I agree using your brain in good. I do feel lucky that I don’t hate my job. I just know in my heart that work does not really give me any meaning no matter what I do.

I did my BHSAI by the time I was 18 and wanted a career in horses. Parents made me go to uni so I would always have a fallback but that meant I had several years out of horses and lost my bottle at the same time 😡. So forced into actual work with horses now only as my hobby. Obviously I now have to work to sustain that hobby but I really wish I had ignored them and followed my dream when I was 18. I had a good job lined up with a professional eventer and I think that partly explains why I've never settled in any other job because I just want to be outside with horses all day.