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Has anyone noticed the constant vitriol against child free people on MN?

77 replies

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 10:55

I am not child free, by the way. But I have been using MN more than I normally have, and every other post seems to be a subtle ( or not so subtle) way to take a dig at the child free. I occasionally dip into the Child Free Board but don't post there as that is not my place, but there are parents there too, arguing away.

I have many child free friends- they don't give me parenting advice, I don't give them any advice- and I don't really understand why posters here are trying to widen the gulf between different groups of women.

OP posts:
drpet49 · 01/07/2023 10:59

No, I have noticed it.

TrueScrumptious · 01/07/2023 11:00

No, I don’t notice that at all. Examples?

AppleKatie · 01/07/2023 11:00

Nope literally never seen that.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 01/07/2023 11:00

Nope

SeatonCarew · 01/07/2023 11:01

No.

Chemenger · 01/07/2023 11:01

No, I’ve never seen that.

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 11:02

Some examples I have seen recently: Are child free women keener on late abortions?
Do child free people make worse politicians?
Do child free people have way more time and what do they do with it ( this one I have paraphrased but it was on those lines)...

OP posts:
bellac11 · 01/07/2023 11:03

Yes, Ive seen it.

Particularly the faux confusion that someone who isnt a mum would post on this forum. Its just a forum at the end of the day, perhaps people find it more easy to use or it has a wider range of subjects than other forums for example so people will use it.

SirChenjins · 01/07/2023 11:04

I haven’t noticed it, no. Mumsnet has thousands of members so it stands to reason that you’ll get a few idiotic comments but I can’t say I’ve seen widespread and constant vitriol.

Chocolateship · 01/07/2023 11:05

I think some of them are interesting discussions to be honest (aside from the politician one, unsure of the real relevance). The first thread was about whether your opinions on abortion changed when you had children and inevitably discussion if people before children or people who were childfree had similar opinions; I think it's interesting. The latter is a good chance for people to point out to ignorant posters that in fact people can be busy beyond having children.

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 11:05

bellac11 · 01/07/2023 11:03

Yes, Ive seen it.

Particularly the faux confusion that someone who isnt a mum would post on this forum. Its just a forum at the end of the day, perhaps people find it more easy to use or it has a wider range of subjects than other forums for example so people will use it.

Yes, that one is constant and has been around for ever...

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 01/07/2023 11:08

I really haven’t noticed it, but I have noticed the slow increasing of chip-on-the-shoulder posts saying that mothers are out to get the childfree

I was child free for years and then had child been later in life. It was bloody glorious. I never felt like anyone was out to get me or thought I was worth less. Honestly why would anyone care? 🤷‍♀️

Mark19735 · 01/07/2023 11:08

Lots of people noticed it earlier in the year and petitioned for this section to be set up: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters

It's a safe space for people who might otherwise be triggered by the incessant postings of a community whose predominant characteristic is their role as parents.

Childfree Mumsnetters forum | Mumsnet | Mumsnet

Join our forum for Mumsnetters embracing the childfree life. Chat with likeminded posters about absolutely anything - from your next holiday to what's for dinner.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters

ShirleyPhallus · 01/07/2023 11:09

Mark19735 · 01/07/2023 11:08

Lots of people noticed it earlier in the year and petitioned for this section to be set up: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters

It's a safe space for people who might otherwise be triggered by the incessant postings of a community whose predominant characteristic is their role as parents.

a childfree board is fine cos let’s face it, all sorts of boards exist here, but honestly if you’re “triggered” by parents posting on a parenting site then I think it’s not the site for you tbh

Nomorenonbinary · 01/07/2023 11:12

There are lots of people on mumsnet who refuse to believe that any one else doing life differently from them can be healthy happy and sane.

Chocolateship · 01/07/2023 11:12

I agree parents shouldn't be on the childfree board though, there aren't many spaces like that online.

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 11:12

@Chocolateship I don't think the abortion post was in good faith.

OP posts:
SoWhatEh · 01/07/2023 11:13

LOL at 'incessant' posting about parenting on a parenting board.

No. I haven't seen or noticed this.

LadyInBread · 01/07/2023 11:15

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 11:12

@Chocolateship I don't think the abortion post was in good faith.

This.

I think it's an interesting and valid discussion about whether having children changes your views in abortion. But that's not how the OP started. They started with 'having children makes you more anti abortion because you care more'. The more the thread went on the more fervently anti-choice the OP revealed themself to be. So not made in good faith, I don't think.

WeWereInParis · 01/07/2023 11:15

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 11:02

Some examples I have seen recently: Are child free women keener on late abortions?
Do child free people make worse politicians?
Do child free people have way more time and what do they do with it ( this one I have paraphrased but it was on those lines)...

I don't think there is anything wrong with a discussion on whether having children changes your views on abortion. And actually, most posters who had children said they were more pro-choice after pregnancy, so it certainly wasn't a thread full of widespread criticism of those without children. The OP may have been of this view but was criticised for it.
Of course negative views exist (as negative views about all sorts of things are shown on Mumsnet) but I wouldn't say it's massively widespread.

BananaSpanner · 01/07/2023 11:16

Mark19735 · 01/07/2023 11:08

Lots of people noticed it earlier in the year and petitioned for this section to be set up: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters

It's a safe space for people who might otherwise be triggered by the incessant postings of a community whose predominant characteristic is their role as parents.

Bloody annoying mums, with your incessant posting on Mumsnet. You might trigger people goddamit 😂

OP, no I haven’t noticed nastiness towards non parents. Mumsnet is a site with a huge array of discussions and that’s what makes it great but of course by the nature of the site (and the byline) topics often centre around children.
The only time I’ve really seen tension is when a child free person makes overly judgy posts about other peoples parenting.

x2boys · 01/07/2023 11:16

I haven't noticed it but there wss a really horrible thread a few weeks ago.that was allowed to.stay up.far longer than it should have about the Op hating kids

WeWereInParis · 01/07/2023 11:17

CatfoodOzymandias · 01/07/2023 11:12

@Chocolateship I don't think the abortion post was in good faith.

Neither do I. But one bad faith OP who was criticised/disagreed with by almost all responses isn't an example of a widespread problem

Sux2buthen · 01/07/2023 11:17

Mark19735 · 01/07/2023 11:08

Lots of people noticed it earlier in the year and petitioned for this section to be set up: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childfree-mumsnetters

It's a safe space for people who might otherwise be triggered by the incessant postings of a community whose predominant characteristic is their role as parents.

It's literally a parenting site

electriclight · 01/07/2023 11:28

Well I haven't noticed any specific criticism of child-free people but people post from their own experience and it is a parenting website called Mumsnet.

I think it's an odd place to gravitate towards if you are in any way offended by parents posting about their experiences as parents, especially when there are so many alternatives.

I'm a teacher and feel that a lot of posts are complaining about education, schools and teachers. Again, probably to be expected on a parenting website and people rarely come online to say nice things about anyone or anything.

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