Shy 22 year old DS asked to be best man

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The wedding is coming up soon. DS has known the groom since he was 5 and has been asked to be best man. DS is really shy and is struggling to come up with a speech.
Does anyone have any tips for preparing a speech?

Sorry to have no tips, lovely to read that DS has been asked. There must be some stories from childhood that could be told in an amusing way.

try CHATGPT

There are loads of templates/ suggestions on Google. He must remember that the audience are all with him wanting it to go well.
practice, have notes on cards in big letters, and smile.

Come up with some funny stories/ancedotes about the couple, the groom and stick it into Chatgpt and see what it comes up with.

Would making a video or photo montage or something similar be more up his street than public speaking?

Chatgpt is a great idea! Thanks.

This is another great idea. Thank you!

Audience participation. Make them do the work.

A table against table quiz about the bride and groom!

Think back there MUST be some stories from since they were 5 that would draw a smile/chuckle.

His speech can be short as long as it is from the heart. Be sure to mention how long they’ve been friends and how happy he is for the bride and groom, then raise a glass to the bridesmaids and he can relax!

If he’s known the groom since they were 5 then he should have plenty of ammunition stories to use from the growing up. It needs to be personal, a little bit humiliating maybe and funny but not rude (if you wouldn’t tell the joke to your gran then don’t use it). Think things that his new bride should be aware of and good qualities he will bring to the relationship - keep it light, back it with funny evidence and don’t make it too personal that people will cringe!

Don't go to far outside his comfort zone- quizzes etc need a really strong personality.

Could he ask for speeches before dinner?

Short, sweet, to the heart. His friend will know he's shy and he won't be hoping he turns into a stand up comedian.

Honestly I think there's so so much pressure on best men to do a hilarious speech or some sort of activity - the best speeches at weddings I've attended have been short and sweet, heartfelt congratulations to the bride and groom, comments on how well they look together, thanking the families / bridesmaids / groomsmen and raising a toast to a happy ever after.

The worst speeches have been lengthy, attempts to be hilarious / props etc. Short and sweet, from the heart and he will do an amazing job!

Also if it helps get him to turn and address it to the bride and groom, not to the room. His words are for them after all 😊

honestly he just needs to get absolutely trolled before the speech then it'll all run smooth

trollied*

I was a best man a few years ago. I'm not particularly shy and used to be a teacher so speaking for an audience doesn't worry me too much, but as a female best "man" I had that extra pressure to worry about instead!

Tips:

Everyone is on your side, and they will stay on your side unless you a) speak so quietly they can't hear you, b) go on and on for fucking ever, c) become massively inappropriate.

So - nice and loud. Have a quick practice on the day in the room. Get someone to sit at the back and tell you if you are too loud / too quiet. (I had to do this even though I am VERY loud 😂 because I had a microphone and I'm just used to bellowing so I needed to get the level right).

Timing. Write the speech, practice the speech, time the speech. No shorter than 4 mins (people look forward to it, it's a key part of a wedding, so it really shouldn't be any shorter than this) and ABSOLUTELY not longer than 10. Try to find out the order of the day, if the speeches are before dinner keep it shorter than if they are after - people who are hungry will be a less happy & patient audience than people with full bellies! Also worth finding out how many other speeches there will be; if there's loads that is another reason to keep it shorter.

Resist temptation to tell everyone the absolute worst things you know about the groom. People want a laugh, but no-one actually wants to hear about the time Mikey got so pissed in Malaga he took a shit in a prostitute's hair. Also, the aim is to have a bit of a laugh at the groom's expense - nothing you say should embarrass or upset the bride - which also means there should be zero references to the groom's ex-girlfriends.

Extra tip: props can help. It shows you've put a bit of thought and effort in, and can help land jokes. But it's an extra thing to have to think about and physically handle (especially relevant if you have a mic) so it depends on how nervous and fumbly you think you might be.

Finally - one or two drinks before to steady the nerves but not enough to stray into tipsy. And don't get caught writing your cue cards at the last minute during the reception by the official photographer, like I did! 😳😂

Tips: practice it out loud so even if nervous his mouth is used to saying the words
Short and sweet - and he can do sweet with a couple of stories from when they were young, ending with something slightly soppy about the newlyweds
He could always add Buy me a drink later and I’ll share the stories he didn’t the wife to hear about

Keep it short. No one likes long speeches that try to be funny. Use prompt cards and it'll be fine

We went to a wedding recently where the best man's speech was the 'shoe game'

www.weddingwire.ca/wedding-ideas/wedding-shoe-game-questions-you-need-to-ask--c1269

It was a fun way of focusing on the bride and groom and certainly a lot more enjoyable for the guests than a tour through the groom's drunken escapades.

In the olden days, people who couldn't go to the wedding would send telegrams and the best man would read them out.
I've been to a few weddings where the BM has contacted various old acquaintances, teachers, colleagues, etc who aren't guests and asked them to send a message for him to read out during the speech. They were generally amusing, kind and positive, and were always a big surprise to the groom, and great for the bride to hear!

The groom traditionally toasts the bridesmaids, after the brides father has toasted the happy couple. Nice manners for the BM to thank whoever's paying for it (or both sets of parents if it's a joint family affair) 👍

My advice would be don't attempt to be someone you're not - so don't put on a persona or attempt to be some big funny character, life & soul of the party. His friend knows him and has chosen him, knowing he's shy. Keep it meaningful, kind, congratulatory, and keep it SHORT!

In all honesty, everyone appreciates a few nice words but kept brief.

Omg! Thanks everyone for all these fabulous ideas!

Here's what I would do based on both giving a wedding speech and hearing a lot of them:
-Short story about how he met the groom or something funny that happened to them when younger (climbed a tree and got stuck type funny not drunk type funny) or something really kind/nice the groom did that cemented their friendship. Keep it short, nothing where 'you had to be there' or that the brides grandparents won't want to hear

• something nice about how great the bride is /what a great couple they are / how happy he is they've found each other.
• a nice quote on love / marriage, extra points if from a favourite song / book / film of the couple
• toast the bride and groom

I would avoid props and slides like the plague to be honest, and only read out messages if they are very funny / heartfelt or its someone who is very close to the couple that can't be there. If he's funny then throw in jokes but if not don't force it, just be sincere and nice about his friends.

The audience will be on his side, 5 minutes is plenty but don't rush through it, practice speaking slowly and pausing. Prompt cards are good but don't hide behind an a4 sheet of paper.

That's a great idea!