Twin birthday present etiquette

[ParachuteAway]

Twin boys aged 3.. birthday party coming up. My child invited.

What's the deal with presents? One between them seems a bit tight, two the same seems a bit silly but two different surely is a recipe for a big fallout?

Any outside the box ideas that isn't one of the three options above?

Two different, I’m sure they will share and swap and change just like any other siblings. Maybe ask their parents what they’re into? Definitely don’t just get them a shared present. They’re separate people!

even if you just buy them a book and a bag of chocolate buttons each

Two cards, fiver in each which their parents can use to buy something they each want or towards a bigger joint present.

2 different but similar. Eg 2 books, 2 cars, 2 figures etc.

We know lots of twins. I would suggest a book each

I have twins. I was surprised at their first party that everyone brought them a (different) present each. We’ve followed suit and every party we go to, each twin takes a present for the birthday child.

2 different but similar, in both ‘type’ of present and in value. Books work well.

I have twins. Is the invite
From both or one?

Just to add when they were invited together to parties they always took a present each.

I took two presents they could use together and put them in the same bag, I think was a jigsaw and a craft set

I have twins - they invited their friends so each had say 5 friends - they did not do ‘joint’ invites with expected gifts each - that’s incredibly rude, and grabby, and nobody wants that much stuff in one house.

As it’s a joint party I’d send a joint present -

It's a joint party - they go to the same nursery so have the same group of friends..

Two similar sounds good. The book route might be a good one thanks!!

I can't remember if they brought one or two presents to my child's party actually, not that it really matters I guess but that could have set the expectation.

Buy something they can share like nerf guns
Or boar game

They are going to get too much stuff are they

I’d do two the same but different. So for three year old twin boys something like a hot wheels monster truck but a different colour/pattern for each of them. That way there similar enough that there not likely to argue over it (in theory 🤣) and they can play together.

I know everyone said the same but different but I'd be a bit wary. I'm godmother to twin girls and for their 4th birthday bought them Minnie Mouse dolls. The same toy doll but it had different dresses and accessories. ApparentlyI caused world war 3 because each girl always wanted the doll the other one had until they had it and then still wanted the other one. I was not popular godmother and have always bought them the exact same since until they hit the teenage years and that was a whole other ball game.

two different surely is a recipe for a big fallout?

I am very uncomfortable at the idea that siblings just cannot share and that a big fall out is the expected outcome if they do not each have exactly the same thing as the other.

In our house, at the first sign of such a fall out both items would be confiscated. We have had to actually follow through a couple of times, but have always been consistent.

It seems to work.

It's the way I was brought up and still feel that it is an approach which is both fair and workable.

As a family, we had contact with another family, where the parents could not give their two children anything at all unless there were two exactly the same. No concept of taking turns.

I still feel vividly how I despised their approach, which they were perfectly open about. I also remember how my mother praised us for tolerating differences.

I would ask the parents, not all twins are the same

A game to share and a book each

Eugh, it's a minefield isn't it!!

Maybe the suggestions to ask the mum are right but I know I hated that question when I had a party to organise and enough stuff on without having to come up with ideas for people as well..

For that age, I'd do books that are linked in some way. Same author, sequel or theme as bed time stories.

Then a game they can play together that you need at least two people for? Jenga, a football or outside game. Group together with another parent(s) and do some duplo or basic Lego that will last a long time.
Bit young for too trumps but you can get things like Gruffalo Snap?

I'd go for this idea.
This will involve no arguments with the twins ( speaking as a gm of 5 Yr old twins )

I’m a twin. Shared presents were rubbish for birthdays. 2 individual children, 2 individual presents. It was the same the other way around when we were invited to a party. They got a present from each of us.

I am a twin and agree 2 individual children 2 individual presents and don’t forget individual cards too. We absolutely hated joint present and joint cards even more as they made you feel like you were not thought of as individuals. A quarter of our child’s year are twins and he always gets an individual present from each twin too and if giving out physical invitations they also get one each.

Why not buy two of something they can play together? Like two nerf guns, or two walkie talkies, or two kids tennis rackets etc?

I have twins. A card with £5 each in would be perfect!

As a parent of twins, I'm not fussy if they get something to share or something each - they share everything really, anyway. I wouldn't be put out if they only got one present. Something like a boardgame or a craft set is very easy to share. I do only buy one thing when we go to other people's parties, at the moment, though I might spend a bit more than the average.