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Original poster

Holiday club guilt

72 replies

Oysterbabe · 26/06/2023 07:14

Just planned out the summer holidays and spunked £900 on 3 weeks of holiday clubs for my two (5 and 7). We're having a family holiday for a week and the other 2 we'll cover with a mix of annual leave and grandparent help. We have little annual leave left and still have October half term and Christmas to cover.

I just feel bad about it, like I should be spending the summer letting them relax, doing fun things with them etc instead of sticking them in holiday clubs. I have a couple of family members who have made a few little digs about how things are shit for kids these days with afterschool clubs and holiday clubs etc.

I don't work Mondays so they will have slightly more time with me than they do during term time. The clubs will be fun; one is drama, one is art and one is forest skills.

I guess it's just hard being a working family.

OP posts:
bluejelly · 26/06/2023 07:17

They'll be totally fine! Holiday clubs are fun and don't feel like school. Maybe make your free Mondays lazy days of chilling and pottering. And don't cram too much into the weekends. But don't overthink it - my dd went to lots of holiday clubs and she has nothing but good memories.

FlounderingFruitcake · 26/06/2023 07:22

If the kids are happy to do them there’s no issue. If you coordinate with school friends then they’re like extra fun organised play dates. Down time is great but you need a mix IMO.

Airdustmoon · 26/06/2023 07:25

Don’t feel guilty, it sounds like a good mix you’ve got arranged for them. They’ll still get to chill with their grandparents or when you take leave. I’m lucky to not need childcare as DH is a SAHD at the moment but we’ve still booked a couple of clubs for DS to do as he’s an only child and gets bored!

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FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 26/06/2023 07:28

There's nothing to feel bad about, you need to work and you've made arrangements that will ensure they are looked after and having fun.

There are 13 weeks of school holidays a year, you can't be off work for all of them, you've made arrangements for holiday club for 3 out of 6 of the summer holiday weeks so they will be spending half the holiday not in clubs.

DD is 9, she has 2 weeks at an outdoor pursuits centre doing bushcraft, kayaking, climbing, archery etc. 2 weeks at a more traditional holiday club doing various sport things and crafts, 2 weeks with me a few days of which will be at the seaside, the rest doing very little and just recuperating. Oh and a weekend Brownie camp somewhere in the middle.

Torven · 26/06/2023 07:30

I thought at first you meant a resort holiday club while you are all away! Do disapprove of those, why have kids!

But holiday club while you are working? Jeezo don't be hard on yourself you're making a living to keep them in shoes and rice crispies.

YoBeaches · 26/06/2023 07:32

Have you asked about Parental leave at work?

redskytwonight · 26/06/2023 07:37

Have you booked them into a torture holiday club or something? Because that's what you make it sound like. They are meant to be fun - hopefully you've picked one that suits your DC's interests/energy levels. I think a mix of holiday club/family holiday/time at home is great!

Phineyj · 26/06/2023 07:38

It sounds fine to me. I expect you will take home more than £900 after tax those 3 weeks right? I'm sure annoying family members aren't offering to pay your bills...

I have one DC and am a teacher. I have some of her holidays off. Not all - there's actually a significant mismatch this year. But the price of the hols is I have to ignore her most evenings in term time and have zero flexibility.

Your two will be fine. I think 5-7 year old me would have been envious! I has a SAHM but she didn't spend the holidays entertaining us! We mostly fought and bickered...

hited · 26/06/2023 07:41

No need to feel guilty - those clubs all sound great and if they are doing them together they'll have load of fun. I don't know why some people view holiday clubs as something kids have to endure rather than a fun activity! I'm a sahm who will be caring for a toddler but I've booked clubs for my 5yo for 3 weeks of the summer hols. I chose them because they're activities we don't have time for during term but I know she'd love the chance to build those skills (they include forest school and drama). You'll have fun times with them at the weekends and they'll build amazing skills and friendships.

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 26/06/2023 07:48

Surely this will be what most working parents do over the summer holidays, a combination of holiday clubs, annual leave, family support (if lucky enough to have it), play dates and a dash of winging it.

TeeBee · 26/06/2023 07:51

I was a SAHP when mine were little and still sent them to holiday clubs because the activities were so varied, they liked going with their mates and it mixed things up a bit. Looks like you're only sending them for half of the holidays too. Stop feeling guilty, they'll probably have a lovely time.

ANewAdventure · 26/06/2023 07:52

No need for guilt, holiday clubs are great fun. I started using them before I had to, as mine need more company of their own age than play dates can provide.

Plan a few nice outings, look forward to your family holiday, and know that they’ll have a blast.

GoodVibesHere · 26/06/2023 07:52

It depends on your children - mine absolutely hated holiday clubs, so this would've been really shit for them. Some kids enjoy going to holiday clubs though, in which case it's fine I think.

ZenNudist · 26/06/2023 07:53

Mine love holiday clubs. They do some great ones. I think you need to stop feeling guilty about this one. That sounds like a perfectly good summer hol.

The kids whose parents are off with them aren't doing exciting days out and holidays all the time. People tend to see family, go to the park, hang around the house.

Lots of chill time doesn't suit my very active dc who get bored easily. I know so many older kids who spend summer on the xbox.

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 26/06/2023 08:31

Thanks all.
I can't take any extended leave from work, they can't cover it.

They've done holiday clubs before and are happy enough going. They play very nicely together so it's good they have eachother.

The guilt is pretty irrational.

OP posts:
Original poster
Oysterbabe · 26/06/2023 09:25

I read that thread in AIBU and some people think kids spending more time in childcare has contributed to the decline in their mental health. I wonder if our set up is what's best for them. There's not much I can do about it though, we both need to work.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/06/2023 09:28

My Gdcs love both after-school club and holiday club. Dh mistakenly went to fetch Gds (nearly 7) early from ASC recently - Gds didn’t want to leave! Dh had to go back later.

PuttingDownRoots · 26/06/2023 09:30

Mine have very happy memories of Cheerleading camp. Much better than being at home... despite a patent being there!

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 26/06/2023 09:32

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/06/2023 09:28

My Gdcs love both after-school club and holiday club. Dh mistakenly went to fetch Gds (nearly 7) early from ASC recently - Gds didn’t want to leave! Dh had to go back later.

Mine are the same at ASC, they're always deep into some game and I have to drag them away.

OP posts:
Bear2014 · 26/06/2023 09:42

Please don't feel bad. Our kids absolutely love holiday clubs. They enjoy the activities and relish spending time with different friends etc. They are 9 and 6, and have both been going 3 weeks over the summer since they were 4. We also send them during February Half Term one week at Easter. It is unavoidable as our annual leave won't stretch, but it is all they have ever known and it is also the case for many of their friends. Own it and try and look at it in a positive light, they will have a great summer.

Pkhsvd · 26/06/2023 09:46

As a child I never went to holiday clubs because my mum worked term time only and I remember being jealous of the kids that did go!
Ive done a fairly even mix over the summer holiday of me, DH, family and holiday club and I feel like this year I’ve got the balance right as I do think she’d be bored at home every day and this way she gets to see other friends and do things that we wouldn’t do at home.
The mums I know who don’t work and can keep their DC at home all holidays won’t be doing any more activities than I will on the days I am off with them as very few people have the money for constant days out

ThreadExterminator · 26/06/2023 09:51

DD absolutely loves holiday club and actively asks to go even when I don't need her to 😅 She hasn't done a full week yet but now she's 6 and a bit more confident socially, I wouldn't feel guilty about it as long as the holiday club in question will provide fresh air, variety of activities and an opportunity to chill out and be quiet for a while if they need to.

HamSandwichKiller · 26/06/2023 09:58

It depends on their age I think. Mine is an only and age 9. Really if he was home all summer he'd be bored witless. So even though my husband is a teacher our kid goes to various camps so he can see his mates and hang out with other kids.

We mix that with a week away plus a long weekend in a Haven type place. Some holiday camps and chill days. It's all about balance and taking into account the kids ages and personalities.

mogtheexcellent · 26/06/2023 10:07

Like @HamSandwichKiller says my Dd is an only child so we use clubs to break up the holidaysfor her.

It means i get to take time off for myself rather than for childcare. Fortunately we can afford it (just) as i save childcare vouchers.

Figgygal · 26/06/2023 10:10

Mine have always loved holiday clubs and I'm so glad for that as I do think balance of home, clubs, extended family time works.
also if theyre at home they'll just want tv or tablet constantly

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