Holiday club guilt

[Oysterbabe]

Just planned out the summer holidays and spunked £900 on 3 weeks of holiday clubs for my two (5 and 7). We're having a family holiday for a week and the other 2 we'll cover with a mix of annual leave and grandparent help. We have little annual leave left and still have October half term and Christmas to cover.

I just feel bad about it, like I should be spending the summer letting them relax, doing fun things with them etc instead of sticking them in holiday clubs. I have a couple of family members who have made a few little digs about how things are shit for kids these days with afterschool clubs and holiday clubs etc.

I don't work Mondays so they will have slightly more time with me than they do during term time. The clubs will be fun; one is drama, one is art and one is forest skills.

I guess it's just hard being a working family.

Don't feel bad. Kids don't need to "relax" in the same way as adults do. They'd be bored at home the whole time.

Holiday clubs are fun, it's not like school with work to do. They've got other children to play with and if it's anything like the one my daughter goes to, there are organised activities but if they don't want to do them, they are not forced and there is opportunity for free play as well. I used to go to my grandma's every day in the school holidays and whilst she was lovely and I loved my days there, I wouldn't have minded going to some holiday clubs, I think it would have helped me massively.

We wouldn't survive without holiday clubs! DS is an only and after six weeks, he'd be bored as hell with just me and DH. So he goes twice a week, and I book him into ones his friends go to, so like a PP said, it's just like an extended play date for him and he still gets five days a week with us. I think that's a great balance personally!

I’m a teacher and my eldest teen requests her drama summer school each summer and Easter. She is autistic and prefers the routine of going to summer school rather than potentially lying in bed all day if I haven’t planned something. She doesn’t have any learning disabilities and attends mainstream school but she’s not keen on meeting her friends in the holidays and weekends so it’s down to me to plan stuff or she will just watch tv on her room all day. My youngest went to the summer one a couple of years ago but she’s quit so won’t be doing them this year. I might get her into some odd days of her preferred activity. Luckily she will go out and play with her friends for quite a few hours at a time but she still likes to do lots of things with me as well. She’s 11.

They will love them. I always book mine in a few times a week even on my non working days, it's hard to think of things to do with them 5 days a week for six weeks... holiday Clubs gives them a chance to have fun make new friends learn new skills ect

Holiday clubs are GREAT much more fun than time with parents Don't feel guilty Do enjoy the family holiday

In the same boat here op, for my 8 n 6yos, 3 weeks at home between dh n I, the rest in holiday clubs. Hopefully it's a good balance for them.

Because some children are only children and enjoy the company?

My daughter always did holiday clubs, which meant that my fiancé and I spent most of our holiday hanging around waiting on her.

She had a ball, we were bored.

the clubs sound lots of fun & they aren’t there the whole time. I have really fond memories or going to holiday club when I was a kid & they weren’t half as elaborate as the are now! A few balls and bikes in a hall .. the odd bouncy castle & some arts and crafts! I would like my 2 to go but my SEN child can’t be accommodated & my 5yo isn’t keen yet.

Hello from the other side. DCs are 17 & 19 we used holiday clubs every summer until Covid without the clubs they wouldn't have been able to : ride a horse, sail a boat, swi as well as they can (both excellent swimmers) or dance semi- professionally ( this is across 3 DCs) the right summer camp is great.

My ds had to go to a few holiday clubs. He wasn’t wild about it tbh, and I hated having to send him, but you know what? He’s all grown up now and I don’t think he even remembers going. We never went on holiday either, didn’t have any money or anyone to go with, but we both realised you can’t always have everything, it wasn’t the most important thing.

This will make you feel better. I worked in a job I hated, really hated but it was term time only so I got to spend the whole summer with the DC.
I went all out to have great summers, as late teens they don't remember it at all. Of course they remember specific days but they would have remembered them if they had been in holiday club.

Don't be, DD survived 6 years of holiday clubs and while there were the odd times she felt bored, in general she loved it.

I love when PP said. "take parental leave". First, I would loose more income than the clubs cost. Secondly, if you work in a team and have to cover each other, it's very likely that there are others with school age children/partners with jobs in education. I had to share 6 weeks with two others for 2 years.

As a child from a SAHM parent I never did anything during the summer holidays. No trips to the park, no outings (mum couldn’t drive) and I was jealous of the kids who got to do the exciting things during the holidays. When I was a teenager I got to do a theatre school for a
week which was amazing. I remember spending a lot of the holidays saying I’m bored.

I am now a working parent and my kids go to the after school club and holiday clubs. I try to do a mixture like you OP. I feel awful leaving them sometimes but they always seem to have a nice time and do lots of things they wouldn’t do at home. There was a petting zoo visit last summer holidays for one of the days.

Mines not a massive fan of external holiday clubs (though he goes when he needs to) but absolutely loves the holiday club at school run by the PE teacher (all his friends are there and they get to scooter round the playground) he asks to get sent even on days when we arent working.

I'm fortunate to be able to take 6 weeks off over summer hols. Last summer I organised loads of fun days out and trips away (beach, London, theme parks etc) I had a bit of guilt about putting my son into a fairly basic holiday club for a few days... he said the holiday club was his favourite part. This year, he's asking to go in more! What you've planned sounds lovely.

If your family members were that concerned they would offer to entertain your kids themselves..perhaps suggest that to them if they make any more digs!

I get it op.
There are some indicators that staying ‘on’ all of the time as we do outside of home is causing some problems. This is particularly an issue for children doing clubs all weekend with no down time or too little.

Children need unstructured play time.

Having the Monday off is a life saver. In your position we would be in PJs until lunch time. Playing and pottering and after lunch they take it in turns choosing their favourite activity. Could be nothing or something special. I always think where possible children love some autonomy.

Weekends could be fun days at the beach on one of the days.

You said you can’t take time off but I would take at least one ‘surprise’ day off and take them somewhere unexpected.

i think you can work with your work hours to provide a really happy summer.

Holiday clubs are fun for that age. Mine went swimming every day and loved it.

Mine, now 15 went to holiday clubs every holiday - like you I did the best I could to mix things up (and also work 4 days) but honestly she was fine. I used to feel guilty until her friend said that she wished she could go to clubs in the holidays as it was boring being at home every day - put a different slant on things.

The worst time for me has been when they hit secondary and are too old for many of the clubs but don’t want them home alone for days, that’s a real test of planning believe me, just had to get them signed up for a few activities (tennis, badminton court booked with a friend) and leave some chores that would get her out of the house at least for a while.

Honestly as far as other’s opinions go, you can’t win this one so all you can do is your best , the kids will be fine xx

There are some really good ones. Tennis camp. Putting on a musical in a week. I loved those when I was a kid/teenager. And my Mum was a teacher so was at home; it wasn’t a childcare issue. It was a doing interesting things in the summer and making new friends scenario. Met boys. Chatted with them on MSN. Those were the days 😂.

I hated holiday club when my mum used to dump me there every summer I used to long for the days I was old enough to just stay at home on my own whilst my parents went to work as hated all the noise and all the activities it was so full on and I felt like I didn't have a second to catch my breath. Saying that I am a typical introvert and love being at home with all my home comforts and have always been like that. Sounds like your kids love it tho so I wouldn't feel guilty.

We are exactly the same. DDs will be doing 3 weeks of holiday club in the summer holidays then a mix of DH and I taking annual leave, a week away all together and some time with grandparents. They go to after school club a few days a week during term time too.

I think the key thing is remembering that they're not at school..... they're playing or doing fun activities there. The club I send DDs too does a mix of organised activities, arts and crafts sessions and then just fun things like having a bouncy castle or inflatable obstacle course.

Days at home we keep really chilled out, as a PP said just staying in PJs till lunchtime. Reading, baking, watching films etc. I find that gives a good balance of downtime and proper rest as well as the structure and activities of holiday club. If you mix in a holiday somewhere or just days out, plus time with grandparents or friends/family members then I genuinely think they're getting the best of all worlds.

When you have two working parents, it is needs must. I can't take parental leave as it's unpaid so I'd lose more money than the cost of the holiday clubs. Plus I'd also be spending more money trying to keep them occupied and entertained.

I imagine it gets more difficult when they're a bit too old for after school club and holiday clubs but too young to be left at home on their own for extended periods. I'm not looking forward to that stage!

Sounds to me like you have a nice balance :) Yes chill time is important but they have every Monday for that plus the annual leave and grandparent time.

Mine is 5 and can't wait for her holiday clubs!

You have a nice mix in there, and it sounds like the clubs will be great fun. Don't let those critical family members become the voices in your head.

DS will be in holiday club for 3 weeks too (tennis, football and school holiday camp). He loves them and I always book him with at least one friend. If he had his way he also would be doing coding camp (too expensive), basketball camp (doesn't exist) and Nintendo camp (if it exists he is not going).

It gets very quiet around us in summer because the WFH families tend to go and WFH in Portugal or Cornwall, and everyone takes their summer holiday at different times...the camps guarantee a sociable week with plenty of action.

Don't feel bad, it's just the way it is being a working parent. School holidays and hours done work for us. They would likely get bored anyway, the holiday clubs sound fabulous Nd they will enjoy them. So ignore those family members- how rude of them! They will have Mondays and weekends to relax with you, and those 2 weeks you have off - thats plenty for their age xx