What is in your loft and sewing box?

[FedgeHund]

Apparently I am not allowed occasionally used items or decorations in mine, a sewing box it's to be amalgamated with my adult childs apparently.

What is in your loft?

If you have adult children do they think they have the right to control what is in your home? Do they take your sewing box, fabrics etc? I had no interest in my parents possessions and never stole from them which is what I feel is being done to me.

I am late 40s not 80, so have plenty of years to use my possessions.

I am intrigued to know what is kept in other's lofts.

They just take your sewing box? I may have 'borrowed' a reel of thread (still in my possession many many years later) but I have my own. It was a wedding present from my Mum.

I am intrigued what others consider normal.

I apparently am to throw out curated boxes of seasonal decorations that bring me joy, after years of living like a minimalistic dream to deal with children, I had no ornaments. I finally started to live as I want to please me and she is trying to control me now she wants to move back. I am not having it, it does not seen right, I don't do this to others, it's my home, my life.

My adult child is upset that I haven't used some items in a year therefore according to some Gnostic from the internet I should bin it all, apparently they will be stuck clearing out my home when I die. I have 30 years yet in me. They don't have the life experience to understand that you occasionally use items.

I apparently don't use my seeing box enough and they will take my stuff add it to theirs and that is what was announced. 🙄

This isn't about sewing boxes.

Are you saying that you have an adult child who doesn't live with you and they are coming in to your home and throwing things away or taking things?

And that they want to move back in?

If a husband was saying anything like this to you, he'd be accused very quickly of being abusive. What is the relationship dynamic with your child? Why on earth do they think they get to control how you live in your own house? Are they even asking to move in or telling you?

...now she wants to move back

Oh yeah? Has she actually asked or has she just told you?

Or house is rented and the loft is locked so we have no idea what's in there.

As for the rest of my/our things, they're wherever they live in the house to be used as/when needed. My dc are younger - 10/12 - but don't try to dictate what we keep our throw away. Our house is cluttered and messy though, which annoys me as if much rather live in a nice and tidy place.

My sewing box lives under the chair in the dining room and no-one ever mentions it. It gets used occasionally, when someone's trousers need taking up or something needs repairing.

I don't go to my mam's and try to tell her what she must keep or throw away even though she's almost 70 because she's not dead yet. It's as though your dd is expecting you to live in a sterile box in order to make her future life easier. Refuse and resist as much as you can and if she keeps it up, tell her that her living with you is not working and explain why.

I don't go to my mam's and try to tell her what she must keep or throw away even though she's almost 70 because she's not dead yet. It's as though your dd is expecting you to live in a sterile box in order to make her future life easier. Refuse and resist as much as you can and if she keeps it up, tell her that her living with you is not working and explain why.

This is what my instincts were screaming at me. I don't do this to others, it would not occur to me.

She like the Dad who is long gone has always totalitarian, I have always had to push back with her very strong personality. I told her yesterday, I can leave my home to someone else, clearing problems them removed from her. I told her live elsewhere.

Neighbours had a daughter like this. The mother told her hell would freeze over before she would be moving back in. Your house, your stuff, enjoy it.

I don't blame you tbh, I would do the same. If you want to live in my home, you respect my possessions!

Do you really think she's doing it to save herself a job when you die?

That would be madness at any age never mind when you are in your forties!

Nothing right now as I have mice up there eating everything I own. I need a humane way to make them leave. Have caught loads in humane traps but am looking for a company who can remove them all without killing them if there is such a thing. Stinks of mouse pee up there.

I had mice enter through a plumbing hole in my kitchen. I bought a plug with a high pitched sound, it seemed to work.

I'm afraid your DD is crossing the boundaries here and would get a sharp bugger off from me.

Our loft is partly taken up by solar panel and battery equipment. As for what else is stored up there, I'm hopeless on ladders and scared to go up them so I've no idea. That is DH's domain and will have to remain so.

My sewing box is on a shelf in the living room and there for anyone who needs to do a minor repair. That is rare though, and my DDs do ask. Not sure if DH actually knows it's there, but he would ask too.

Your DD isn't showing you much respect.

Stick to your decision, don't let her move in. Sounds like you'd be treated as a tenant in your own home (mind you, tenants get to have their own belongings). Your house, your choice, you can fill it with Christmas, Spring, Summer, Autumn, Halloween and any other decorations you want. Tell your overbearing bullying daughter to bugger off, find her own place to live and she can have whatever she wishes in it. Please don't give in.

To me it's a loft, to her it's her old bedroom. I have two tiny little areas to store items and they are not boarded so don't use as it's awkward.

Seasonal decorations (I stated seasonal decorating during lockdown, I enjoy it) are in what she deems her room, what I call my storage area, I am not going up in ladders I go up stairs, it was my hobby room, storage room I was part way through organising.

It's a very big room. I said I am having half as storage and buying a curtain to split it, she wants the whole room, I want half, it's my home.

She wants to remove old childhood furniture and buy new items and take them when she moves out again, I don't mind that.I

I think i just lived minimum as a parent and it's not me and she does not like me, tough.

Me and ds emptied out our attic the other day. All going in the black bin in the spirit of minimalism. I love minimalism so much.

My sewing basket and sewing tin are both from my mum who died before ds was born and he has no interest in them. I have bought plenty of cotton reels over the years but hate sewing.

Me and ds emptied out our attic the other day. All going in the black bin in the spirit of minimalism. I love minimalism so much.

Minimum suited me with children, I did not want extra work of dusting etc, I was too busy with after school activities than, life moves on.

I feel voilated. I feel shamed.

I never had it happened, I can imagine someone like Trinny and Susannah going through your knickers drawer saying, oh you have period stains here you need to throw them out not bleach them. I am going to call you mames now and show photos and pour focus on you with as many as I can muster to humiliate you.

Why does she want to move back in?

I moved back in with my mother once when we had a house disaster but it was completely on her terms.

An adult child behaving in that way sounds abusive.

My young teenager is allowed to help herself from my large sewing box, but she'll often check (depending on what it is) if she can use something.

Don't allow her to move back

She has an exercise bike up there, that is ok apparently.

I kept good strong boxes to sell items in vinted. Reverse robin hood wants rich CEOs to benefit from her gifts of my possessions to charity and to deplete my resources in her timing , her way to rent a skip.

I showed her this thread and she said she will post photos.

My parents have a lot of stuff (a whole outbuilding as well as a house, retired smallholding set up)

I was very glad when they got to their mid 70s that they decided to get some skips and have a massive clear out

But had they not I still wouldn't have bullied them into it. You cannot live your life as if you are on the verge of death.

Unless you are massively underselling this and you are a hoarder causing a fire hazard then she can leave your stuff alone!

If you came on saying that a partner wanted to move in with you but was throwing away or taking your stuff people would be telling you not to let them move in with you. The same applies here so good for you telling her not to move in and that you could leave your house to someone else.

You could leave your house to someone else.

I am seriously considering this to remove the after you are dead argument.

I don't want to sell my four sets of lights or whatever it is on vinted anyway, when I think of it, they break and I don't want one set up in the winter.

She has just moved 8 bags of rubbish from house mates before three extra hours of a cleaning team being brought in by the landlord to clean after them, she was there extra days after the others left

I am taking anger she could not express to them. This happened as a child she would take anger at other students out on me upon returning home.

Keep all your possessions exactly as and where they are. Relocate the adult child. Do not give ina d allow her to move in. Your home is your sanctuary. She can make her own living space exactly as she likes it. But that needs to be somewhere else, far away from you.