I really am big enough and ugly enough to see myself home

[Youknowaboutthepaint]

I'm a single middle aged woman. I have a wide social circle and a busy social life, friends of both sexes.

After an evening out there is always a "discussion" about how I'll get home. I live with walking distance of our regular pub and of the station if we've been further afield.

I am perfectly comfortable walking home by myself. In fact I'm just back from a trip where I walked 120 miles all alone. However, my friends don't want to "allow" it. The men will insist on seeing me home, sometimes women even make their husbands walk me home! It doesn't matter how much I tell them I'm fine, they insist and come anyway. Sometimes this means I'm walking home alone with a man I barely know - statistically I'm probably safer alone.

I know they think they're doing the right thing but surely a woman should have the right to make these decisions herself?

Hats off the that poster though. They managed to pat themselves on the back about how superior their culture is to ours both collectively and individually and how uncaring we all are in one short para.

Than women having their own agency?

There are better "own agency" hills to die on, yes.
And more important issues imho, but allowing you can make this one supremely important to you.

You're unhappy that people care about you & your safety when it happens to be very convenient for them to assure your safety? That's the place you've arrived at.

Just tell them to Fuck Off. That you don't like their company. That will rid you of them. Job done.

I'm surprised at the responses on this. You shouldn't have to treat your friends the same way you treat random weirdos who try to follow you home. Unless someone is really paralytically drink and unlikely to get home without incident, it's unreasonable to insist on accompanying them when they decline.

The only thing you can do is be increasingly firm with your friends about it (and maybe try and make a very discrete exit) but you shouldn't have to go through this rigmarole.

Oh FFS. OP has the agency to be firm and refuse to let them accompany her.
She has the agency to ignore the "discussion" about how she'll get home.
Except she obviously doesn't because

"Sometimes this means I'm walking home alone with a man I barely know "

so don't do it. FFS. Stand up for yourself. Just do it. Why the drama and trying to make this into some kind of social agenda issue when it comes down to your own character weakness (people pleasing). Would you like me to pop over & show how easy it is to make No into a complete sentence?

All this thread drama because OP doesn't know how to say no.

I'm off to do stuff by myself for hours in an isolated location. It's really easy ime. Just crack on with it.

They are trying to be nice but I am tired of this women being precious petals who don't know their own mind, I would just be nice bit firm

I would just be nice bit firm

Nope, just be firm. Polite, but firm.