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Original poster

Do you think Facebook is fake?

39 replies

shirtsclarts · 23/06/2023 15:44

I'm not sure why I'm still on it but I am.
My ex was a huge narcissist (I know that gets thrown around a lot but he was cruel and sadistic )
He never would really post much to social media.
I deleted him off all social media but we have mutual acquaintances on there.
I see him on there with posts tagging his friends with pics of his new Girlfriend and changing his profile pic all the time to lovey dovey pics.
When all the time to me he was cruel etc etc
Now it seems like that's different and he is this all loving man (how it changed in a year il never know )
He previously told me (when we met ) he used social media to make his ex jealous too.
Do you think all the lovey dovey pics etc are real? Not just him but Facebook in general
My heart sinks Everytime I see him

OP posts:

Fighterofthenightman1 · 23/06/2023 15:48

A lot of it is false or embellished to make people's lives look better than they are. Not all, but a lot.

The absolute best thing you can do right now is disable or delete Facebook so you cannot see him.

Then he'll just be wasting his time posting all that and hoping you'll see it and feel awful.

TheCig · 23/06/2023 15:57

Block him

boboshmobo · 23/06/2023 15:58

Why on earth are you following him , remove him or hide him at least

Yes it's fake , people don't post their shit lives do they .. the post the best bits so it's a snapshot without the bad parts

MargotDeWitt · 23/06/2023 15:59

It's not Facebook that is fake, but some/many of the people who post on it.

Lamped · 23/06/2023 15:59

People will only share the highlights on FB. If you feel like he's doing it to get at you then just block him, he's not worth the energy.

I like FB for the groups but I don't really pay much attention to what any of my "friends" on there post.

teabycandlelight · 23/06/2023 16:01

Stop following him on Facebook/ mute his posts.

you know he’s doing it to make you jealous. Don’t rise to it.

you know he’s the same person and sadly the new gf will find out eventually.

and also- many other people will not be taking his posts at face value. Anyone who knows your situation will see his behaviour for what it is. Pathetic

Ylvamoon · 23/06/2023 16:03

I knew someone who gauged their popularity by the amount of Friends they had on FB.
So yeah, its as fake as an plastic apple!

MaryJean87 · 23/06/2023 16:08

I think a lot of it is fake, but try not to let what other people do bother you. He's in your past, let him do what he wants to do and stop looking at him.

mindutopia · 23/06/2023 16:11

No it's not fake. It shows the truth pretty clearly, which he told you himself. He uses Facebook to make his exes jealous.

Honestly, I'm very happily married and I hardly ever even reference dh and we have a photo together about once every 3 years. The people I know who blast every detail of their relationships all over Facebook are usually either in very new ones or very struggling ones. I would read anything into these performances about the happiness of his new relationship.

Allhailkingcharlie · 23/06/2023 16:14

I hardly post. I don't post saying how wonderful my dh is even though I think he is and vice versa. Yet I know LOTS of couple who do and I know behind closed doors it's going to shit. Don't believe everything you see on social media!! You know what he was like and that's why you moved on!

Original poster

shirtsclarts · 23/06/2023 16:36

Not sure if he is actually updating his Facebook pics /posts to make me jealous or anyone else or not as he isn't on my Facebook -but when he tags the people I have on mine I can see
And then all I see is his happy smiley face -and the prick who mentally abused me is gone
Nobody would ever believe how nasty he is
You just wouldn't think he was capable of it

OP posts:

UsingChangeofName · 23/06/2023 16:36

Well no. Clearly Facebook isn't fake.
But as in life away from social media, some people are more honest than others, some are more trustworthy, some are all about being 'showy', some people are very private.

What I can't understand is why you are following what he posts.
That is your choice.

Sartre · 23/06/2023 16:38

Haven’t used it for years but yeah, social media has always been ‘fake’. The photos are posed and staged, often for ‘likes’ and/or attention. It isn’t reality, real life isn’t staged.

Unfollow the ex, it isn’t serving you well.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/06/2023 16:39

shirtsclarts · 23/06/2023 16:36

You can't if you actually block him.

stargirl1701 · 23/06/2023 16:40

No. The only thing that remains on Facebook is local events and Marketplace alongside my elderly relatives posting lovely photos of their gardens.

I don't know anyone under 40 who uses it.

Instagram is ridiculously fake. I met a new colleague recently. Another staff member had 'googled' her previous to that. He photo did not resemble her in any way.

I am over 40 though. I use social media to chat about things I like (books) rather than comparing my life to others.

I have a disabled child. My life is so different to 'normal' it is not worth the comparing.

lljkk · 23/06/2023 16:41

My FBk is fine, for real ppl I know posting status updates about themselves. I find it all believable.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/06/2023 16:42

Of course I'd say 99% of social media is fake.

FB/Insta/Twitter...all that sort of stuff is filled with the highlights only. You're hardly going to sit and post how you're actually worried your husband is having an affair or that you don't like your SIL...that's what anonymous forums are for. Even these are fake because no one can really prove that anything I say is real. I could tell you all I'm a 99 year old former nun turned prostitute and you'd have a hard time proving otherwise. At least on fb/insta, people I know would call bullshit on that.

NewUserName2023 · 23/06/2023 16:42

I rarely post on fb anymore, i go on it for the groups I like. People only post their best on fb as a way of "marketing" themselves and their life. He's posting to make you jealous - like he did with previous partners - so don't give him that headspace. Life your best life and ignore/block him!

EllaRaines · 23/06/2023 16:44

Just block him. Maybe he has found love with this woman instead of you which is only going to make you feel hurt and or jealous and bitter.

Or maybe it's all fake.

Who cares? You certainly shouldn't!

Move on and block.

massiveclamps · 23/06/2023 16:47

People don't post their day-to-day drudgery or all the boring shit they do. They won't post pictures of themselves with a face like thunder during an argument. They post all the 'good' bits that they want people to see. Smoke and mirrors.

It's not completely fake, it just ain't the whole truth. Not by a long way.

Original poster

shirtsclarts · 23/06/2023 17:00

I deleted him so I didn't have to see anything from him,not thinking he would be tagging people etc so I see it anyway.
Maybe he has found love but I know him very well and know what he is like -I won't pretend it doesn't hurt seeing him being a nice person etc to someone else
I didn't block him as I thought deleting him was enough -maybe I need to block

OP posts:

Brightandshining · 23/06/2023 17:04

Social media isn't anything but what people make it. If he is generally a fake person who likes to put on a show whilst being a dick behind closed doors then yes his social media will reflect that.
I suggest you just stop looking at it coz if you look at it he's getting what he wants from you

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/06/2023 17:06

shirtsclarts · 23/06/2023 17:00

I mean, it's up to you. Block so you don't have to see him anymore, or don't block and keep complaining that you see him.

lljkk · 23/06/2023 17:56

hmmm. My Facebook feed today is:

"Where can I buy..." query (group)
Complaint about street furniture (group)
Toileting question (group, gross, TMI)
"Come to our sporting event!" (group)
Local facebook group whinge
My 2nd cousin's opinion about something
Thanks to a group for birthday wishes received
"I love this random not even my own dog" post from my cousin & her ma
Culture clash angst (another group)
Landscaper request (local facebook group)
Update to local celebrity animal group (update on the critter)
Local peregrines update
20 mile kayak trip in the sea with pictures, mention of seals mental
Update, event details for sporting competition DS is doing (group page)
Where can I get X service in London (group page)

Which of those is mostly fake, and how can you tell?
Do I need to look at Instagram to find the mostly fake posts?

JamSandle · 23/06/2023 18:04

Some of it is fake but it's more that it lacks nuance.

Life is fantastic and terrible and boring and average and everything else.

Social media usually shows only the blindingly fantastic. Although some share day to day things or the worst things happening to them.

It's usually an extreme look at a life without the nuance and context of what life really is.

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