Please help - flight tonight

[Reginaldperrin]

I have a fear of flying, and I have to fly this evening. Im leaving my kids for the first time ever and am terrified the plane is going to crash.

I really hate feeling like this. I want to get on that plane and feel happy and relaxed but Im already sweating about it. Can anyone please give me some tips that could help???

a few large drinks in the bar beforehand?

Get some diphenhydramine HCL from boots (sleepeaze sleeping pills). I take one while waiting at the gate and then another when we get on the plane. I do long flights mostly though, wouldn't recommend it if you've got to work or anything and it's a short flight!

I block my ears and close my eyes for take off as I hate the noises.
Focus on every detail of what you'll do after landing.
Watch the crew and see how calm they are.
Think about how many hundreds of flights will have safely landed between now and your flight.
Go to the doctor and get some sedatives.
Do calming breathing exercises: deep breath in and slooooowly release for 8 seconds.
Strike up a conversation with the person next to you. I did this on my last flight and she was the loveliest, interesting woman and we chatted non stop for the whole trip.

For the future, your go will probably prescribe some diazepan for flying if you ask (usually the weakest possible though)

Let the flight attendants know you're uncomfortable if you feel able to - they're used to nervous fliers!

Planes are incredibly safe, as PP said see how calm the flight attendants are and know they're trained to keep you totally safe - that's their job.

Deep breaths, some rescue remedy if you want to (I wouldn't recommend much stronger unless you're used to taking sleeping pills or similar) and a positive mantra. That's what my mum does every time and it keeps her calm - she dislikes flying too. Headphones and a podcast / headspace video could help? They're super calming. A bottle of water to be able to sip slowly and a snack or two to keep your mind busy.

Think of the destination not the journey and all of the things you'll be doing when you reach where you're going!

The only thing that helps my anxiety and panic when flying is getting really really tipsy! Then I have the time of my life 🤣 I hate flying OP so I can sympathise x

Check out a website/FB page called Lovefly, they have loads of free resources

You should never try and combat a fear with alcohol. It doesn’t work, it just further cements in your mind that it is something to be feared.

Promethazine tablets ( phenergan) from the chemist will help.

I used to have this but my GP now point blank refuses to prescribe it any more. Apparently it's against guidelines! Try phenergan tablets from the chemist.

Thank you so much, Im going to look at the facebook page and see if I can get something from the pharmacy.

I hate feeling like this. I know how irrational it is, and the amount of stress i put myself through is ridiculous.

I have terrible flight anxiety! Every little bump or bit of turbulence makes it worse.

I have found that trying to compare it to a boat trip rather than a car driving is helpful in not overreacting to that bumpiness / seeming unpredictability or instability.

Definitely let the flight attendants know that you’re very nervous. They’ve always been lovely to me.

How long is the flight? Can you break it down into smaller segments? I find it helpful to break it down into episodes of a tv show I’m going to watch. Something comforting / lighthearted. It helps me to know that I’ve got to get through say 5 episodes of a 30 minute show and then it’ll all be done.

Check out YouTube. There will be plenty on there about body and breathing techniques. Box breathing; 7-11 breathing; in through the nose, out through the nose. Peter Levine has some good resources for body based grounding techniques. .

Use the time before flying to try some out. Make a list and take it with you.

Perhaps there are also some visualisations you could do that would be available online? e.g. of a strong hand holding the plane underneath, gently lifting and lowering, steady and present beneath any turbulence.

Essentially, the 'dial' for the fear isn't in the cognitive processing, but in the imaginative, somatic, globalising capacities your brain has. So finding some good shortcuts for turning that dial down can be really helpful.

Thank you @semideponent Ill take a look.
My flight is about 2 hours 15 mins. So not really long.

You got this @Reginaldperrin

Try to keep a rational head.

Flying is a safe form of transport.
Hearing strange noises and turbulence is normal.
As someone else said watch the flight crew they are calm and fine.

You will be fine.

This will be me on Sunday, I’m planning to take some Phenhydramine to take the edge off (available OTC as sleepeze or similar in boots)
I only take the 25mg and it has an effect similar to that of a low dose of diazepam for me ❤️
All that aside, flying is incredibly safe, etc, but I know that sometimes the potential for rational thought goes out of the window x

can you tell yourself that some of your feelings are excitement? Are you going somewhere lovely?

when you get to the airport it all becomes more normal with everyone doing the same thing and you realise how many thousands and thousands of flights happen all the time. Get some nice snacks and a magazine for the plane and it will be over before you know it

Take a good book or puzzles to keep your mind busy. Take some hard boiled sweets to suck during take off and landing as a special treat

I became an airline stewardess to get over my chronic fear of flying age 30. It didn't work, I was the one looking petrified on every flight - gave up after a year 😂lol.
Crashes are incredibly rare, you will be fine.

It helps me too reframe that anxiety as though it's something fun.. Like a rollercoaster. I have a banging playlist for takeoff... Stuff that makes me feel excited and uplifted.

Box breathing for the bumpy bits

Remember how standard and mundane this is for the pilots and crew. Hundreds of thousands of flights happen every day.

omg @Gettingbysomehow Thats actually made me laugh so thanks for that at least!

You're much more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the airport!

EasyJet run a fear of flying course, too late to do that now but do consider if for the future. I know someone who went on it who was terrified of flying but is now a very confident flyer.

You got this!
you have to rationalise all the way
statistically speaking flying is safer than being in a car, so you’re safe
rationalise every single noise or movement, for example, that’s the engine working properly, that’s the door properly closing keeping you safe, that’s the plane going faster to properly take off
or if you have good headphones, download something you really like on your phone/tablet, volume at max and focus on that