Do you think my "friend" reported me to social services?

[sayalittlewhisper]

I'm 28 and since I was 19 I was a full time carer for my mum who had early onset dementia and over the last two years breast cancer.
My Dad passed away when I was 11.
After he died I was left money from him which was mine when I turned 18.
Looking after my mum was stressful and isolating and I liked to treat myself to clothes etc.
A "friend " of mine would always ask me questions how I could afford this on carers allowance and I didn't want to discuss money so I laughed it off and said I have a money tree.

She asked to borrow £500 and I said no (as she never pays me back ) this caused a huge argument and she stopped speaking to me and blocked me on everything.

A month later my mums social worker rang me and asked to come and see me.
Someone had rang the hotline saying my mum was being financially abused.
I went through months of hell ,providing bank statements,showing how my mums money was spent and what on (at one point justifying why I spent £10 on bandages instead of asking the GP for them for free )
I was told they were happy that my mum wasn't being financially abused and we were left alone.

In the mean time me and my friend started speaking again.
3 months later my mum died (April this year ) due to cancer.
I was talking about the funeral etc and headstones to my friend and I made a comment saying how expensive things were and she responded
"Oh well now she's passed you can bet all her finances will be getting looked in too"
Straight away this sentence was all I needed to know it was her.
Things turned very nasty after this
I tried calling her no answer
So then I just told her about the investigation (didn't accuse her ) and she text back
"No I don't think so,if someone reports you,you wouldn't be told about it -they do it all behind your back ,I think your lying "
(Now if that's the first you have heard about it -wouldn't you be in shock ? Why would your reaction be to say what she did ?)
She went on to say that I was blatantly lying and if I had stole any money from my mum I was going to get in trouble and was I upset she wasn't listening when I told her it was over and I had done nothing wrong.

Then I said I think it was you
She went on to say I was nuts and she knew nothing about it
Does that seem like someone who knows nothing about it ?

Honestly, with these things, your gut feeling is almost always right anyway.
If you think it's her it most probably is 😔

She’s not your friend.
She’s a jealous, grabby cow.

Sorry for your loss.
I hope life gets easier for you.

Block her and walk away.

Highly likely you are correct.

Keep her blocked and tell people why if they ask.

My condolences to you.

It was her and she is not your friend , stay away from her , she is evil

It probably was her done out of spite because you wouldn't lend her £500.

She never was a friend OP. She is just a jealous, vindictive bitch and you are miles better off without trash like that in your life.

I'm so sorry for your losses, you've bourne so much at such a young age.

I hope you have a wonderful life and meet true friends to care for you and care about

I mean I'd end a friendship for not getting my money back let alone all the other stress she has put you through! You are better off without her especially as you have already been through so much.

Thanks everyone you don't know how much it means.
I've been feeling pretty low tbh lately and questioning if I'm crazy and imagined it all
It's mad how someone can be so manipulative and make you think that

Sorry for your loss. No advice other than if you've had an inheritance and you receive any benefits then you do need to declare it. You probs already know this but just mentioning in case you didn't. Many people have found themselves in bother through not knowing

*Lend her

@schnauzerbeard LOVE the username 😏🐾

She's no friend. I'd say she probably did report you; for some reason she was probably jealous. You're much better off without her in your life.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. Sending best wishes.

It kinda does sound like it's her but it also sounds like even if it wasn't her, she doesn't think too highly of you and your financial situation. Either way, she doesn't trust you and you don't need to be friends with someone who doesn't trust you, and you her.

She is toxic. Was she ever a real friend? The good thing is, at least you found out her true colours and you're rid of her.

In retrospect, it may have been easier to just tell her your dad left you an inheritance. I fear she would have used you and only tried to milk you for money, faking friendship. There are evil people out there. Sorry you had to experience this.

Don't worry about any of this, as you have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. If your mum left you an inheritance, don't touch it until this sorry affair has been sorted.

What I would say though, is ask if you can file a complaint about the 'malicious reports of abuse' that are unfounded. Find out if you can take any action against the person that accused you. It's wrong that you should have to go through this, and it must be deeply upsetting.

Take everything in your stride and don't let her get the better of you by upsetting you. Easier said than done, but if she upsets you and she knows about it, she gets the kicks she's after.

Stay strong.

She would have been happy to screw your mother out of £500 and never repay it if you had given it to her, wouldn't she. Where was her concience about the funds of a very ill lady then eh?

She's disgusting. And you are so well rid of her.
I'm sorry for your losses.

What a horrible, horrible person she is. It’s very likely that it was her.
If my friend’s mum died, the last think I’d think of saying to her would be “your mum’s finances will be looked into”. Nobody says that. And they don’t say “I think you’re lying” when you tell them about the investigation.
So sorry for your loss. What a shame you didn’t have a friend who was kind to you instead of behaving like this.

Yes, I do.
Sorry for your loss, and sorry to hear you have had such a hard time of things through the years, you could have done with a real friend, not this spiteful mare you describe.