Do you automatically clean up after your OH?

[Funkyslippers]

For example, if they leave their plate/cup etc in the living room would you pick it up and take it to the kitchen? Would you put their cereal bowl etc in the dishwasher as a matter of course or would you just leave it where it is? I tend to leave stuff for him to clean up himself but wonder if I'm being a bit petty

No, I tell him to clean it up/move it. Can be a bit exhausting because no matter how many times I say "could you please put your work boots in the hall?" He still leaves them in the living room every day 🤷🏻‍♀️ i'd just rather ask though because if I didn't, he'd probably never move anything and I don't want to be cleaning up after him all the time. The occasional thing I will move, for example if I'm taking my plate in I will take his with me. But just as a general rule I expect him to tidy up after himself

I won't get up from my comfy sofa solely for the purpose of clearing up after DH; but if I am going somewhere (kitchen, bathroom) then I will often take that as an excuse to clear up after myself (mug back to the kitchen) and I will also pick up his stuff on the way. It's no skin off my nose to do so.

We clean up after each other. It's an equal relationship. Sometimes I'm busy and happen to leave a plate etc out, and vice versa... but we do our fair share on balance.

DH cleans up after me more than I clean up after him. Bloody annoying actually. "Where's my tea?" "Oops".

I'm no one's skivvy but if it's reciprocal it's lovely.

My DH is much tinder than me but on the rare occasion he leaves a mug or glass out and I am on my way to the kitchen yes, I would pick it up. But if he routinely left stuff for me to clear up I would be very irritated.. but he doesn't. He is a fully fledged adult and I was careful to choose a DH who had his own flat when we met and clearly knew how to look after it.

Tidier not tinder (I hope he's not on tinder ).

I wouldn’t aim to pick up after him, but we both clear up as a matter of course throughout the day. It’s nothing I’ve thought about, really. He clears up after me as much as I do for him.

It’s more the other way round, if anything. DP is very tidy & organised, while I’m more of a slob chilled, relaxed person.

Yes I would, but far more likely to be him picking my plates up - he's much tidier than me, and does all the washing up as I do all the cooking.

We clean up after each other? After dinner he’ll stack dishwasher and I’ll wash any other bits.

We clear up for each other. It’s very equal in out house though, I have a DH that cooks, cleans, shops, does half the childcare etc. so there’s no resentment.

I’m sure I’d feel differently if I had your typical neanderthal mumsnet spouse though that does sod all.

Yes, but he's visually impaired, so literally doesn't see it. (And we're still in early days.)

I kind of automatically tidy up after everyone (DP, kids, guests, pets!) but I’m trying to stop because at least some of these should be able to take their own things to the kitchen/bin.

Whoever's on the way to the kitchen takes anything that's finished with, but there doesn't tend to be much of it anyway.

I do at the moment as he's recovering from a hernia repair. I'm actually happy to do so because it's bliss that he can't do anything.

That's because his nickname is Rambo. Because he loves to ram whatever he can see into a cupboard, and preferably a random cupboard where I will never find it again. Drives me fucking mental.

I don’t pick up after anyone unless I absolutely have to. Husband is tidier than me and the kids are expected to pick up their own messes.

I do 90% of the tidying and cleaning. But I am not currently at work full time and at home more so feels fair enough to me.
The only time I get a bit vexed is if he spills something (usually tea when making it) on the counter and doesn't wipe it up. I often come down to tea stains. That said I think it's a learned behaviour rather than a wilful laziness-his parents stay with us alot and they do it too!

Husband, yes I will tidy up after him as it's part of how our partnership works.
Kids - I deliberately leave their stuff for them to tidy themselves as they need to learn the responsibility and I don't want them growing up to be men who expect someone else to tidy up for them.
I also expect that anyone taking a cup or plate through to the kitchen, will help by taking other things that need to go too. I will not stand for "oh but that's someone else's" as they walk right past it!. And I do always offer to help if they need it.

We both do it for each other. Right now I am MNetting and he is in the kitchen making us cups of tea. He doesn't treat me like his own personal maid so I am happy to do it. He will move a cup from his desk onto the landing (loo break as wfh) to take down which he would do if he was then going downstairs but he is just going to the loo upstairs and back into his bedroom office. If I walk past it I will obviously take it downstairs.

We reciprocate so it's no bother.

We eat together so if he is finished first he will wait for me to finish and take my plate and then vice versa

Yes, and it does my head in but not as much as having a messy house does my head in so 🤷🏼‍♀️

He probably cleans up after me more as he does the dishes, although if I were on the way out I would take something of his, we do stuff for each-other.

I do, and he clears up after me too. If it were just one of us doing it then I'd expect that person to get annoyed

Yes I would, if I was taking my plate into the kitchen I'd take his and put in the dishwasher. But I also know if he got up first, he'd take mine too