Don’t want to be in the WhatsApp group chat

[beeonmybonnett]

Unfortunately I have had issues with some of my coworkers ( fault was on their side) and it has created a toxic environment at work.

We have a group chat on WhatsApp (on my personal mobile phone, which is paid for by me, on my personal mobile phone number and on my personal WhatsApp account)

I just don’t feel comfortable being in it anymore. I have always had it muted and even moved it to the archived list but I can still see when a message has been sent into it as it displays a little number beside the archived list and directly notifies me when someone tags me in a message.

I removed myself when I went on holiday and when I returned, my boss asked me if she could add me back into it and I said I’d prefer not to. She said it would make it easier to share information and that I could just mute it if there are too
many messages coming through. Whilst I could have said no, I felt like I would have looked inconsiderate if I had said no so I felt compelled to agree to her adding me back in.

I do agree that it is easier to share information as it puts it all in one place, but surely it’s my choice as to whether or not I want to be in the chat or not? Even more so because the phone and number belongs to me rather than my employer?

I don’t usually mind being in group chats but given the experiences I have had at work recently it just gives me anxiety. I don’t want to have anything to do with it outside of working hours, I want to be able to unwind , not see messages. I also need to add that WhatsApp is not my work’s official form of communication.

I feel like if I remove myself from it again that I’ll be told off.

Has anyone else took themselves out of a work WhatsApp group?

I don’t mind them having my personal number as long as they don’t contact me unnecessarily.

I would come across as really obstructive and awkward if I refused to give out my number. I don’t mind them privately messaging me , within reason, I just no longer wish to remain part of the group chat.

I do think it makes a difference whether it is a work phone or a personal one.

In one role, Whatsapp was used alongside various email accounts for different things, and a collaborative project management app that was very much just connected to work. Instructions and messages would bounce about between all of them indiscriminately and it got incredibly confusing very quickly. I was setting myself targets on the project management app and then being told things had moved on etc. on Whatsapp, usually on weekends, and being told not to set targets (intended for my own viewing!) if X was on leave and wouldn't be checking that app on holiday. It held back the natural speed of progress, didn't assist it, and took a lot of checking of everything to see that your understanding of it had not been contradicted by a different tool before committing to the action you thought was the right one. It was a feeling of being very controlled over all channels. Not a work style I am at all prepared to agree to.

I have no problem leaving the group I just fear it will make me look negative and like I don’t want to collaborate with others.

I do, but I just can’t bear this group chat . I think for my own happiness I just need to leave it and never mention it again.

Who set it up in the first place, and were you asked before you were included in it?
I think there's something around GDPR with it, so not only can you remove yourself because you don't want to be in the group, if challenged, you can ask for the company policy around it.

Meant to add- don't let it ruin your out of work time. I imagine your boss knows about the issues you've been facing and is being rally insensitive by re-adding you in.

@beeonmybonnett send your manager a message to say you've decided to come out of the WhatsApp group and you are letting them know as a courtesy before you exit. You dont need to explain, I totally get the gushy two faced nonsense. I've had a WhatsApp group exactly like that, it was so over the top and not at all genuine. It was toxic, whatever the PP opinion is on the use of that word, I know exactly what you mean. Good luck.

Thanks. Yes that’s it. I just find it uncomfortable. It makes me feel even more isolated. It’s not at all good for my mental health.

Life is far to short to be bothered outside of working hours, and quite frankly (I assume) you don't get paid enough for that. Speak to your boss privately and just explain you'd much rather communicate via email, individual WhatsApp chat or telephone.

no definitely don’t get paid enough for it.

Im wondering should I ask to speak to my boss privately in her office. Feel a bit awkward about it though. I feel like she will think I’m making a big fuss over something so trivial.

@beeonmybonnett i think managers would much rather their staff be direct & honest. Just tell them it's not your thing. Even though it's muted you still get notified and you find it hard to switch off after work. Don't be pressured. Stay strong!

I took myself out of ours - well out of the main one There are 4 other work related watt’s app groups
i feel your pain op

it was a 5 minute wonder.
Them-‘Oh you’re not on the group - why?’
me-‘too much pinging’
them ‘oh ok’

Totally get that with your MH. I've also deleted Facebook and I've found a big difference not having that.

I don’t blame you ! It all gets a bit too much at times