Friend makes me feel uncomfortable about what I wear -what do I do?

[pringlesingle]

I don't like my legs at all -so in summer I avoid skirts /dresses /shorts
I stick to loose trousers /thin patterned trousers and light blue mom jeans
I normally wear nice tops (strapless ,halter neck tops etc ) and I like my outfits.
Every single time I arrange to meet her she comments "it's red hot you best not be wearing trousers ! "
Then the whole time we are out -even if we are in a big group "can you believe she's got trousers on"

Next week we have arranged the beach
She texts "your not allowed in my car without a skirt /dress on"
"Dress summery "
I've lost count how many times I've told her this
I'm fine with what I wear -we live so close to the seafront so there's always a breeze and rarely gets above 24 degrees here
What would you do ?

Tell her you’re not getting in her car if she makes a comment on your clothes again. She sounds so rude

I had a friend once who used to say things like this.

Once she said to me when we were making arrangements to meet up; 'If you come with that fucking purse again I am walking out'. (She kept commenting that my purse was a bit tatty).

I walked out there and then and finished the friendship.

It was the last straw in a series of similar comments about what i wore; what I carried; how my hair was etc.

It was bullying. Pure and simple. Might sound trivial to end a friendhsip over it but it really was not trivial. It was a symptom of something bigger.

This.

Every single time I arrange to meet her she comments "it's red hot you best not be wearing trousers
I'll wear what I like thank you.

Then the whole time we are out -even if we are in a big group "can you believe she's got trousers on

She's bullying you. Awful.

She texts "your not allowed in my car without a skirt /dress on"
Fine, I'll not be coming then as I'll be wearing trousers.

Dress summery
I'll wear what I like thank you

WTF is wrong with her? What have you previously said to her when she has said things like this? Have you told her you'll wear what you like or have you just not responded.

Tbh I would just stop going out with her. She's not a friend behaving like that. Why the fuck does it matter what you are wearing? If you wanted to wear thermal underwear, ski trousers and a down jacket in the middle of summer to go to beach, you could and it's no one's business but your own.

YUP. Not a good friend.

'You are not the boss of me' seems a good go to response.

I'd tell her to mind her own business.

Find another friend. She doesn't respect you

I like this reply, make me smile

OP she sounds like a pain, why are you mates?

Shame her, loudly and wherever you are every single time.

She's a fucking weirdo to be so obsessed with your clothes and body, why does she feel such a strong need to look at your legs?

This. She knows you're self conscious and vulnerable and is picking on you.
She's no friend.

She’s just a nasty bully. I’d be really tempted to just tell her to fuck off and to stick her dresses and skirts up her arse.

Oh, I had a friend like this. What I wore, my hair, my make up, was never good enough for her. Didn't matter that I was caught between running my own business, health problems and elderly parents who needed a lot of support, and just getting dressed was an achievement some days.

Clearly she was ashamed to be seen with me so I made it easy for us both and stopped all contact.

Best thing I ever did.

i know this isnt the point, but i noticed primark are doing maxi skirts atm that look very similar to the maxi skirts I wore in the mid- 1990’s

How bizarre. I haven’t worn a skirt/dress for anything other than work, weddings or posh events since I was a child. Dresses and skirts are so impractical. Trousers are much easier to do things in.

Whatever you do, do NOT make this about you not liking your legs. Plenty of people do not like wearing dresses or skirts Other people have no business criticising your clothing choices. She can keep it to herself. Tease her for being boring, repetitious and thoughtless.

Not quite on topic, but i never wore skirts or dresses casually until someone asked if i ever wore them, i replied that i did not, as if to say "obviously", then realised it has just never occurred to me. I now live in them.

I wouldn’t bother wasting time with her anymore. Stop going places or messaging her but tell her why you have ended the friendship if she asks.

I’d rephrase that to you let her make you feel uncomfortable about what you wear. Stop letting her. And again, as frequently on this site, ‘friend’ being used in a way many of us wouldn’t. It’s hostile behaviour.

If I had tried the light hearted responses already and she wasn’t getting the hint, then I’d be more direct. Something like “you keep repeatedly commenting on my clothes choice and I don’t like it so can you stop.” If she then kept going I’d probably start being strong about it something like “I’m 38 and more than capable of choosing my what I want to wear each morning. Keep your opinions on my clothes to yourself because I’m not interested and your constant comments are rude and pissing me off”.

Honestly though if you’ve been direct and she hasn’t started she is probably a bit of a shit friend.

This

This.

You are wasting YOUR time, spending time with her.

Dump.

Clamp on a big smile and say very sweetly, 'I don't remember asking for your opinion'.

‘I’ll tell you what, you focus on what you wear and I’ll focus on what I wear’ and repeat as necessary.

People are like this at work when some of our team wear tights to work.

Fuck right off I say.

Wear what you want and if she's so bothered by it, drop her.

I would say "you'll be going on your own, carry on like that". Wear what you feel comfy in. Get yourself some new friends