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Original poster

I hate my 4 yr old

73 replies

anonymous202321 · 17/06/2023 10:46

He is my 3rd child and i don't have any issue with the other two.
Since he was born we didn't really bond i loved him but it felt different to my other two.

He is very challenging. He hits breaks things runs away. every meal time he throws food etc. Screams all the time.

I can get rough with him which i know is wrong but something takes over sometimes.

im fucking him up i know that but i dont know how to stop

OP posts:

Birdeegirl · 18/06/2023 11:15

Same. It's so concerning. What can be done.. we can't alert anyone can we? So very sad and worrying. Poor woman 😌

Tempone · 18/06/2023 11:21

Op keep talking here. Who are the children with now?

Poormiddlechild · 18/06/2023 11:25

Where are you going to, are you safe? Do
you have money?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds Behaviour & development Families

Original poster

anonymous202321 · 18/06/2023 11:47

Oh my goodness please dont worry Im fine and staying with a old friend.
apologies for the worry

OP posts:

Original poster

anonymous202321 · 18/06/2023 11:47

the children are safe with dad

OP posts:

RhosynBach · 18/06/2023 11:52

I think you need a break. But then op you need to go back. Your children need you

roarfeckingroarr · 18/06/2023 12:18

He's probably breaking things because of how you are with him. He's a small child, he deserves love, not being hated and treated roughly.

roarfeckingroarr · 18/06/2023 12:19

Just seen your updates. Hope you're ok OP. Can you get support so you can be with your family?

BMW6 · 18/06/2023 12:22

Glad your OK and staying with a friend. Thanks for letting us know

WhatNoRaisins · 18/06/2023 12:30

I hope this trip is a chance to get some headspace OP.

Catsanfan · 18/06/2023 14:37

You will fuck them up much more by walking out on them. Please take a week or so to relax and go back. They will be devastated if they never see you again

IDontWantToBeAPie · 18/06/2023 17:35

Speak to social services if you are abusing him please.

Mummyof287 · 12/07/2023 22:51

This is very extreme.A mother walking out and leaving her child is not often the best option, and will likely cause further trauma in this situation, unless there is more to the story than we have been told.But as it stands the OP has not described doing anything abusive that would warrant her not being safe to care for him, as the action she described as 'rough' was certainly not in that category.

I do think your title says it all though OP...'hate' is a very strong word and you using that in your description of how you feel about your son suggests that you are feeling very detached from him at the moment, and I suspect he is feeling the insecure bond too, which is resulting in alot of these behaviours, as you say there has always been some trouble in that department.

I agree with PP you sound depressed, so please do get some help with that ASAP.
You don't want to risk your lack of control of your emotions escalating further and doing more damage.

It was nice to see someone recommending VIG (video interaction guidance) I am a VIG practitioner and think that would really help you, as it is a form of relationship building therapy which only focuses on the positives in how you are when you interact with your son, and i think it could really support you to both develop your bond with him and also to build your confidence in yourself as his parent too.

Original poster

anonymous202321 · 13/07/2023 00:33

I forget about this thread. Long story short i ended up admitted into hospital. I had post natal depression that wasnt treated and turned into major depression with psychotic symptoms. I'm back home with support and slowly getting better.

I love my son with all my heart and will hide this thread now as that was a truly dark day and time.

OP posts:

Original poster

anonymous202321 · 13/07/2023 00:39

Im currently co sleeping with him as we are going back to basics with bonding ❤

OP posts:

clpsmum · 13/07/2023 00:39

Good luck op

Ouchee · 13/07/2023 00:41

I was reading the original posts without realising it was an old one.

I thought it was clear that you loved you son and wanted to do better.

It's amazing you got treatment, and are doing the work I'm sure its a long slog till you are mentally well again but don't ever doubt your love for that child. Even in psychosis you were doing everything possible to ask for help to do better by your child. That's amazing.

One day he'll be proud. Hide this thread now or ask MNHQ to delete and sleep well x

Mummyof287 · 13/07/2023 07:41

Oh wow OP, I am so sorry to hear about how difficult things got, but incredibly pleased that you got the help you needed, and are starting to build a relationship with your little boy now.

I can see why it must be difficult looking back at this post now, and I didn't realise when posting that it wasn't a current active thread, so I'm really sorry if I accidentally brought anything traumatic up for you by commenting on it.

Good luck xx

Nannewnannew · 13/07/2023 09:37

Oh @anonymous202321 Im so sorry to hear that you’ve been so depressed, thank goodness you have got the help you need and thank you for updating your post. Wishing you all the best of health and luck with your lovely family. ❤️

BMW6 · 13/07/2023 09:41

So pleased you are getting the right treatment for PND and are back with your child and bonding.
Thanks for the positive update, get well soon

Highdaysandholidays1 · 13/07/2023 11:16

I'm so glad you have got help, OP, that's tremendous to hear, and will help others in a similar situation who feel the same. But do what is right for you in terms of hiding/deleting this thread.

Tempone · 13/07/2023 15:37

Well done op it was clear that you weren't in a good frame of mind x

Marblessolveeverything · 13/07/2023 16:16

I am delighted to hear you are in a better place. And it is a timely reminder to us all that sometimes with the best will in the world MH can impact on everything. Wishing you continued good health.

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