Should I let my son wear pink?

[allthelittlelights]

Quick question for you all, please help if you can!
My son is 7. Totally regular, bog-standard boy, broadly gender-conforming.
His favourite colour is bright pink. I don't care, and I like him choosing his own clothes and expressing himself. He's bright and confident.
Worried he'll get bullied, though. Do I buy the bright pink clothing (trainers and t-shirts) or try to steer him gently towards other colours he likes and avoid the 'controversy'? Wwyd?
Thanks.

Well shes just very confused at the moment.

15 years ago I wouldn't have cared if she said she wants to be a boy or a horse or a unicorn- I'd say that's fine, toddle on. But right now she is convinced she used to be a boy when she was a baby and is currently a girl, but wants to be a boy when she grows older.

Shes refusing to wear dresses. Which is fine. Managed to get her to wear one for a wedding after much persuasion.

Will see what happens as she gets older, it's just with the options that are available and the amount of peer pressure in Secondary schools, just hoping she doesnt get pushed down a dangerous path for her.

She is frequently mistaken for a boy only because she wears a dark cap, dark t shirt and trousers/ shorts and doesnt look like a stereotypical girl when we are out and about.

So why not let himexpress his difference in taste. Are you worried that him wearing pink or having long hair would somehow be seen as a reflection of your parenting?

This is worth thinking about.
Not necessarily a reason to prevent a boy from wearing pink, but something to be aware of and be ready to counter in your discussions with the child and with other people. Boys can wear pink, pink is just a colour not a "girl colour", you can express yourself anyway you like and so on are all of course completely valid points, but there is unfortunately a risk of other influences suggesting to a young child that liking pink makes you a girl these days.
My DS is a pretty average heterosexual teenage boy. He also has long hair and more pink in his wardrobe than me and his sister combined. He regularly has people asking him about his sexuality and gender identity. But he has long hair because he is into heavy rock and that's the style, and he wears pink because he likes pink. Actually I don't think that's the whole story. He wears a lot of shocking pink and I think that's because he quite likes to shock. He is openly GC and has got into trouble at school in the past for being outspoken about women's rights in sport etc, so I think he enjoys challenging people who think that they are the open minded ones but are in fact jumping to totally incorrect assumptions about him for superficial reasons. But anyway, the point is that he is (nearly!) a grown up who knows his own mind and is not likely to be swayed by gender ideology at this stage. With a younger child I would be a bit concerned about opening them up to manipulation by others. I wouldn't stop a boy wearing pink or a girl having very short hair but I would be keeping a very careful eye on what people are saying and how it might potentially influence their view of themselves.

Definitely- pretty shocked you are even considering not allowing it.

Pink is for anybody and everybody.

Accepting that some boys might like pink and want to wear pink is more likely to be the solution to the gender issue. It's the stereotyping of what is male and what is female that is part of the problem.

I say that as someone who reads the sex and gender forum avidly and is an occasional contributor.

I’m sorry you are going through this with your daughter. It may well be that it’s easier for boys who are gender non conforming because they are still boys, with the privilege that brings.

Also, we are a same sex couple and my wife is very butch looking, but absolutely considers herself very much a woman, where as I am stereotypical woman looking, so he doesn’t have gender stereotypes shown at home in the same way. To him there is no ‘man’ jobs and ‘women’ jobs in the house for example- as far as he is concerned women do all adulting at all times.

I also don’t bother to be polite about it when people have said stuff- so when X friend of the family said repeatedly ‘why are you letting him grow his hair like a girl?’ and my son asked why do they keep saying my hair is like a girl? I said because they are being stupid- your hair is on a boy, so it is boys hair and that’s the end of it. Ignore people who are too dim to work that out!

My son went to nursery yesterday in his pink sparkly trainers. He said quite a few of the kids made comments to him like "why are you wearing pink shoes?" And "pink shoes are for girls. He is 4! Is was quite surprised. He didn't seem bothered but it's such a shame. He loves his pink shoes.

Newuser75 · Today 12:35
My son went to nursery yesterday in his pink sparkly trainers. He said quite a few of the kids made comments to him like "why are you wearing pink shoes?" And "pink shoes are for girls. He is 4! Is was quite surprised. He didn't seem bothered but it's such a shame. He loves his pink shoes.”

That’s a bit depressing. Our nearly 3 grandson wears every colour of the rainbow, sometimes has painted nails like mum and a hairband like his best friend if he’s in the mood. No-one at nursery has ever batted an eyelid. Why would they, at that age?

It’s coming from odd parents.

I also don’t bother to be polite about it when people have said stuff- so when X friend of the family said repeatedly ‘why are you letting him grow his hair like a girl?’ and my son asked why do they keep saying my hair is like a girl? I said because they are being stupid- your hair is on a boy, so it is boys hair and that’s the end of it. Ignore people who are too dim to work that out!

I can relate to this. My daughter now says they are not boys clothes they are my clothes.

It's so narrow minded to believe that if a child wears a certain kind of clothes or wears their hair in a certain way they must have been born in the wrong body.

@MrsSkylerWhite honestly I was surprised. I hadn't expected there to be any comments as they are so little. My son has an older brother and he still hasn't started with the pink is for girls and dolls are for girls thing which I'm pleased about. He got a barbie house for Christmas!

Shes refusing to wear dresses. Which is fine. Managed to get her to wear one for a wedding after much persuasion.

Unless she was a bridesmaid, were there no other options for a young person attending a wedding who doesn't like dresses?

A smart jumpsuit? Trouser suit; trousers and waistcoat? Trousers and blouse/tunic? Why did you feel you needed to persuade her to wear a dress? I'm 70 and don't like dresses much. I haven't worn a dress since I was pregnant, over 35 years ago. I own only one dress (bought from a charity shop) and have yet to wear it.

Accepting that some boys might like pink and want to wear pink is more likely to be the solution to the gender issue. It's the stereotyping of what is male and what is female that is part of the problem.
Oh absolutely. If people genuinely had freedom to wear, like and be whatever they want then this whole regressive gender ideology thing would hopefully die in the water. There is no doubt that the right thing for society is for everyone to effectively say "Yes he's a boy that likes pink and he wants to be a nurse but he's just as much boy as any other. And she's a girl who loves trains and wants to be an engineer. Just a regular girl." And if everyone did that there would be no problem. But the issue is that everyone doesn't do that and right at the moment, being seen as gender non conforming opens a child up to potentially very harmful influences. So parents face a conflict between what is right, and best for society in the long term and what they may feel is best for their own child right now.
It's a bit like me, fundamentally opposed to private medicine but about to pay for one of my children to have an operation in an independent hospital. I am not comfortable with my decision. It flies in the face of my fundamental political and moral beliefs. But the NHS has let us down badly. I have tried doing the right thing but it hasn't worked, my son needs the surgery asap and I have the money in the bank so my principles have gone West. As a mother, my desire to look after my child, right now, has overridden anything else.
So I have a great deal of sympathy for parents of young children who might be thinking "Well of course he should be free to wear pink and unicorns and we ought to challenge the stereotypes, but we also know his school has been well and truly captured and hey, that red Paw Patrol t shirt is quite nice and not too stereotypical isn't it...".

It was an asian wedding, and she is 1st cousin to the guy who got married, and was holding flowers etc.