Things your parents made you do.

[Daffodilwoman]

Hi all
This is a lighthearted thread. Something I’ve been thinking about. What things did your parents do/insist on which you may or may not have continued.
For example my mother always made me save things ‘for best’. She also saved things for best too. I had clothes ‘for best’ and everyday clothes. If ever she put sun cream on me I always had to wear everyday clothes, I could never wear my best clothes if she was applying suncream. She saved things ‘for best’. This included towels, curtains, bedding, clothes, shoes. Quite often ‘best’ never came and I’ve lost count of the number of times things which have never come out of the wrapping have become unfashionable and she has got rid of them. For example chintzy curtains, flowery towels, patterned duvets.
She used to buy dd clothes and shoes which were too big saying that she would grow into them. However when the right season came for dd to wear say, a summer dress, it didn’t fit her so I would give it away. She doesn’t do it so much now as I refuse to accept things from her which I don’t use.
Whilst I do save sone things for best I’m nowhere near like my mum. Only things like certain shoes or clothes do I save for best, the rest I use.
I also understand buying things in the sale but my mum always bought things in the sale and never wore them. It took me years to get out of this mindset. A friend actually introduced me to the concept of cost per wear and I try and go by that now.

I had no say in my clothes til I was embarrassingly old and had to have 'best' clothes too which were really horrible and either in comfy or not my style. We also had the 'best' front room which never, ever got used. So weird. I try really hard not to have that 'save for best' mentality now. It's ingrained! I do keep a dress as 'best' for my DD in case of party invites, but the rest of the time I try to encourage the dc to pick and wear what they like.

My parents were actually weird about my appearance thinking about it. I didn't even try on a pair of jeans as a teenager, only wore awful baggy joggers, til I went on a school trip ages about 13/14 and a friend lent me hers to try. Wtf was my mum thinking dressing me like that! It was the Spice Girls era and it's as if she designated me as Sporty Spice and that was that. My dad also wouldn't let me get my long hair cut for many years and eventually mum did take me to the hairdresser, I remember he sulked for a while after that. OP your post has really got me thinking now!

I had very short hair ( look like a boy in all the old photos) . Mum thought that my socks should only be made of wool so I wore 3/4 fawn wool socks absolutely hideous. Again the photos omg those socks combined with the hair. I wasn't allowed any dolls with boobs like Sindy or Barbie or tressy, and no tv on Saturday mornings so no swap shop or tiswas. As an adult we talked about it and she said why couldn't you watch tv on Saturday mornings. Err no idea mum one of your crazy rules.

Oh, all manner of batshittery.

Could only purchase new items of clothing if we knew what it was "to go with"

Must (still) have a new coat and boots each year, but not throw the old ones out. They must not be worn

Salt will be added to everything. Nothing will be tasted first.

Kept a whole host of household goods for when people came to stay. No-one was ever invited, even for dinner.

Required me to buy all of my cousins gifts on every school and day trip, out of my own pocket money.

Tried to get me to say "I'm very sorry to bother you, but might it be possible for random friend to come out to play" when I knocked for anyone.

Agree with you on the rest, but Could only purchase new items of clothing if we knew what it was "to go with" sounds relatively sensible, unless there's more context? I've got things that I loved in the shop, wanted, bought, and still like, but which don't work with anything else I own so never get worn. First one that comes to mind is a warm, soft, sort of dressy cape thing. Absolutely love it. Does not even remotely go with my standard wardrobe of t-shirt, hoodie, jeans. I've never worn it outside the house.

Much the same here. No row though. I just quietly stopped going to confession and taking communion around 14 and to church at around 16.

I do love the idea of sending postcards now though. Except I buy them on day one, manage to find stamps by day 7 and post them when I get home…several days later…

• Not allowed bare foot in the house and definitely not outside - you could catch worms
• Only allowed to wash hair once a week...and definitely not allowed outside if damp, you would get a stiff neck.
• Only allowed VERY short hair (ear length) until high school, made to feel like a boy
• Made to wear BOYS Clarks shoes...as they where "more hard-wearing" I did scuff these up in the hope of actually getting girls shoes
• Being given (forced) cod liver oil and yeast extract- it was good for me 🤢
• Never allowed to wear jeans
• An unhinged fear of me going near deep water
• Had to vet all my friends parents 🤷‍♀️
• When I was 18 and going on holiday to Ibiza (with my elder sister) told me not to speak to any strange men 🙃
• Later booked a holiday with a boyfriend and said I couldn't go as I had no sandles....went on to say I needed to pack a rain mack 😂

Many, many, many more....

Amazed at what a chilled out human I have turned into 🥴

To elaborate, it was every single thing. I imagine you can manage to purchase a new pair of jeans, for example, without earmarking 1 single t-shirt that they are "to go with". Said jeans would only ever be worn with that t-shirt, and vice versa.

I appreciate I missed a lot of that madness out!

My mum also told me off for wearing clothes which were too hot for the weather. I was still at school and she bought all of my clothes. I was a teenager. Wtf we were on holiday and it was roasting. I wore one of the only skirts I had, with a strappy top. She shouted at me and said I should be wearing a looser, more floaty skirt. Ok I’ll pop to the imaginary shop with the imaginary money I don’t have and buy an old granny skirt then.

I also had to walk rather a lot as once the car ‘had been put away’ that was that. My dad (or mum for that matter) would not get it out!
It was ‘put away’ in the garage like some kind of baby being put to bed.

I'm sorry but that really made me laugh 😂

Oh god so many things my mum would make me do:

Wash tins before opening them

Wipe the washing line before hanging clothes on them

Buy clothes way too big to grow into

Dress like her as a teenager - voluminous skirts and high neck tops like the Amish

Not shave my legs or remove my obvious moustache because that would encourage the hair to grow more - I could not have been more hairy

Not use any hair products or hair dryer/straighteners as it would make my hair unhealthy

My mum insisted that it was "a waste" to eat anything that could vaguely be construed as a sandwich filling without putting it in a sandwich.

I was not allowed to eat:
Canned tuna
Ham
Chicken
Turkey
Sliced beef
Cheese
Peanut butter

If they weren't put on a sandwich it was wasteful.

I barely ever eat sandwiches now 😂

In that case, yes, batshit

All my pants had to be made of this thick, white cotton. We got them from a school uniform shop. I remember how the leg elastic dug into me when they became even a smidgen too small. A pair was singed once when they were drying over the fire and I was laughed at mercilessly for what appeared to be a poo stain up the back of them! I think in early Secondary school I got just normal, stretchy pants.

My mum was also always very concerned about 'what people would think' of all kinds of stuff.

Me and my mum have been through it in the past about this one, but she drummed into me that I were to 'respect my elders' unfortunately for me, in my family that meant it gave my gran and my aunt licence to treat me terribly as a child, and my mum stood by and said nothing cos 'respect'

Part of the reason I ended up in therapy as an adult, we hit a rocky patch when it reared it's ugly head again when I had a newborn and my gran and aunt tried trampling all over my boundaries and my mum had some kind of regression. Thankfully we are in a much better place now, and said relatives are at arms length.

My mum was like that! Having to 'Get the car out again' was the equivalent of digging the Suez canal the amount of fuss she made over it!

😂😂😂

Wear clothes from a jumble sale. When I got my first job at 16 it was such a treat to go spend my money in Bay Trading.
Also dragged to church until I was 14 and doing GCSE’s, studies more important.
We had to pull our weight in the holidays, no slacking or having fun. Had to Hoover, dust and clean the kitchen. Also, buy food, prep dinner when parents came home. The real fun was using a twin tub washing machine to wash everyone’s —skids— clothes 😏

My mother would not buy me clothes of my own from the time I was about 10. Not a money issue. I had to wear her clothes. My weight fluctuated alot and she just said she was not wasting money on buying me clothes. I wore one of her old dresses to my school leaving do. It was camel coloured with black squares on it. She also made me wear my hair like hers... it was a beehive-esque bun. This was in a time when the fashion was bubble skirts and leggings. She was very volatile as a person (still is) and so it was easier to not argue and just be embarrassed about it and try and avoid people.

I bought my first pair of jeans when i was in my late 20s. Even now I only buy clothes from charity shops and supermarkets as i don't feel like I have the right to buy nice clothes. I spend a huge amount of money buying very nice clothes for my DCs.

My mum was really, really disparaging about me renting a particular flat because it - wait for it - didn’t have an airing cupboard. I was 24yo. It was a beautiful flat, lovely outlook and location, fully furnished, everything my then boyfriend (who she liked) could ask for. But no airing cupboard. She was really serious about it and couldn’t see past it to acknowledge any of the benefits. It was most bizarre.

Less bizarre but OMG the horror. Made me try on school skirts right in the middle of the shop floor in M&S. Sort of stood in front of me saying ‘nobody can see, nobody is looking’ as I tried them on. I would have been at least 11yo as they were for secondary school.

Go to church.

Wear hideous outfits to church.

Having to wear my older sister's hand-me-downs. My sister was 5' 1". I was 5' 7".

Oh, and have Sunday lunch 'at the table' which was inevitably stressful and fuelled by parental sniping.

I never inflicted it on my dc and fully expect they'll rebel against my laxity by insisting on holding timed to the minute weekly events if they ever have their own dc 😁