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Original poster

How old were your DCs when they were allowed to play out on their own?

57 replies

Primrosefrill · 13/06/2023 04:01

And at what stages - e.g. were they allowed to play out the front on a quiet road, then down to the park etc? Did that depend on their personality?

Mine are 6&9. I am constantly torn between feeling like I am overprotective to feeling like I am being too relaxed.

OP posts:
Beezknees · 13/06/2023 05:39

I never let mine "play out." I don't live in that kind of place. I certainly wouldn't let him out without me at age 6 and I don't think it's fair to put that responsibility on an older child. At 9 I would let him go down to the shop for sweets or something.

I think it was the summer before secondary school that I let him go down to the park but even then I hated it. It's full of bullying, someone got glassed at the skate park there and older kids steal the younger kids bikes.

So I guess it depends where you live!

Blippicip · 13/06/2023 05:42

7/8

Original poster
Primrosefrill · 13/06/2023 05:43

@Beezknees gosh that sounds awful

OP posts:

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Families
uonika · 13/06/2023 05:45

Mine is 7 and I won't let him play out unsupervised.

Kalodin · 13/06/2023 05:47

As a kid, I wasn't allowed out to play on my own until secondary school and I will be doing the same for mine. I can't imagine letting my 6 year old out to play now.

Namechanger1002 · 13/06/2023 05:50

I think it depends on the child and where you live.
When my oldest was 9 we lived on a busy road and near a massive park that often had drunks and druggies in it. No way I would let him go out on his own.
I now live in a quiet cul de sac and my youngest (now 9) has been allowed to play out the front since he was 6/7 - I can see him through my kitchen or lounge window. Now he is 9 he is allowed to go to the shop on his own (2 minute walk away) or the park (2 min walk away) and he walks to and from school on his own (5 min walk away)

User15387534 · 13/06/2023 05:52

About 7/8 for outside the house, year 6 at school for the local park, this was also when he could walk to and from school without an adult.

Waxdrip · 13/06/2023 05:55

4-5 in communal gardens with the other neighbourhood kids. It was the norm where we lived and I always could hear them with the window open. DC still has happy memories of this.

Snoopystick · 13/06/2023 05:59

7 but it was a cul de sac with a lot of similar aged kids. We’ve now moved to a busier area and if they were the same age I would not have let them out at that age here.

Beezknees · 13/06/2023 06:17

Primrosefrill · 13/06/2023 05:43

@Beezknees gosh that sounds awful

It's not great. I don't even like going in that park myself. Less of a worry now as he's 15 and much larger 😂 I can't afford to live anywhere else unfortunately as a single parent.

GnomeDePlume · 13/06/2023 06:17

This so much depends on where you live. When we lived in the Netherlands it was very normal for 7 year olds (y3) to cycle themselves to/from school and go and call on friends to play out.

DS would cycle to his friend's house (a few streets away), ask if friend could play out, cycle home to tell us which playground they would be in, cycle to play with his friend.

This was very normal. Out of school there were lots of children buzzing about on bikes (sometimes 2 up) or skates. Safety in numbers, family friendly design and very bike aware.

When we moved back to the UK this changed. DCs walked to school in the last year of primary but wouldn't play out. Once at secondary they would go to park/town.

Where we live now has far fewer play areas. It isn't bike aware. As a result there are far fewer children out and about which means a child out unaccompanied is far less common and IMO vulnerable.

CeeJay81 · 13/06/2023 06:18

8 to play out /walk the 2 mins round the corner to friends house. She has just turned 9 and I let her go to the shop with her 14 year old brother but not on her own yet. Its about an 8 minute walk. From September I've told her she can go herself.

Original poster
Primrosefrill · 13/06/2023 08:38

This is all really helpful

OP posts:
Quisquam · 13/06/2023 08:41

About 7. We live in a quiet cul de sac and they were playing with all the other children!

ksjsb · 13/06/2023 08:49

I can't remember now but it was before 6 and 9, we lived on a new build estate with the park right in front of our house without even a road to cross though, could see the park from our windows, and they weren't allowed on the roads or streets, straight in the park and straight home. When we moved to a new estate where the park was around the corner we did wait a bit longer, think youngest must have been 7/8, eldest brother had to be there though that first summer.

InTodaysNews · 13/06/2023 09:06

In the back garden unsupervised, from when they could toddle.
Out on the street with friends unsupervised from around five.

Fandabedodgy · 13/06/2023 09:17

Age 6

Mine were allowed to play out in the nearby streets and small park round the corner.

We live on a nice, quiet estate where all
the kids play out

We've expanded their geographical limits over the years as age and maturity appropriate

It depends on the child and the area and this worked for us.

Greenoutside · 13/06/2023 09:22

I’m not convinced by the ‘it depends where you live’ argument.

Thinking back to so many high profile incidents, many have been in affluent areas in the middle of the day. There is no criticism here but it is just something where you either think the benefits outweigh the small risk or you don’t. It’s certainly wrong to claim that terrible things only happen in poverty stricken places where drug dealers prowl, though.

Foxesandsquirrels · 13/06/2023 09:28

It does completely depend on where you live though. DD would play out from age 7 onwards on her grandma's estate. It was like a school playground so many kids were out. It's still the same now and she's 15. In our 'naice' area no child plays out and it would've been dangerous to just let her go out on the street on her own.

Fandabedodgy · 13/06/2023 09:30

Greenoutside · 13/06/2023 09:22

I’m not convinced by the ‘it depends where you live’ argument.

Thinking back to so many high profile incidents, many have been in affluent areas in the middle of the day. There is no criticism here but it is just something where you either think the benefits outweigh the small risk or you don’t. It’s certainly wrong to claim that terrible things only happen in poverty stricken places where drug dealers prowl, though.

If you live on a busy road with lots of traffic or next to a park frequented by gangs then the risks are different to quiet cubs-de-sacs, estates with 10mph speed limits and quiet little swing lparks

DownToWherever · 13/06/2023 09:38

In our old house, in a cul de sac, my oldest played out from age 7 where we could see him. He started going to the local shop and park with friends at about 9/10.

We moved house before my youngest got to that age, we had lots more outdoor space but no neighbours, kids don’t play out here in the same way because of that.

Greenoutside · 13/06/2023 09:39

But traffic isn’t the only consideration, and living in or only permitting your children to play unsupervised in perceived ‘safe’ areas doesn’t work, does it?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 13/06/2023 09:45

It totally depends where you live, and your child.

Kids play out here. It’s a quiet street in terms of traffic. The neighbours all know each other and no-one hesitates to tell a child to stop doing something or say “are you meant to be that far along the street” etc. They have safety in numbers, the proverbial village looking out for them and it’s a low risk area.

Where I lived before was a seemingly ‘nicer’ area, but no other kids played out, I didn’t know the neighbour at all, the traffic went through ridiculously fast and two of the houses had dodgy going’s on.

Also depends on your child as well. DD1 could have been trusted at 3. DD2 is so easily distracted she’s still a worry at 21!

ksjsb · 13/06/2023 09:48

I’m not convinced by the ‘it depends where you live’ argument.

If you can physically see the park from your house, and know the community well, that's a very different to say living on a main road where the kids would potentially need to cross traffic, go to another neighbourhood, perhaps an area where teenagers go, I would make a very different risk assessment. Of course location matters. Of course a child can be abducted anywhere at any time, but the statistical chance of that happening is so very low that is not what I am worrying about, that would be irrational.

mindutopia · 13/06/2023 09:52

I would certainly let my older one go out and about from maybe 6-7, but we live very rurally. It would literally be to walk the dog around the farm - no hazards, like cars or other people or moving machinery, or bodies of water. My 5 year old can walk over to the neighbours (friends) with my 10 year old or with the older sibling of neighbours and they all play out unsupervised. But again, there is literally nowhere they could go except behind a tree. We are surrounded by fields and no near neighbours (except friend who is across the field), no roads, no vehicles. I wouldn't let him wonder around unsupervised at 5 by himself, but with older sibling or friend, yes, as they are very responsible.

The only dangerous place within walking distance is literally our drive as we live at the end of a long steep lane and couriers come racing down it. I'd much rather they were off in a field somewhere playing as it's much safer. But even my 10 year old is not allowed on the road or to go to the village on her own as it's too far and the road is a fast A road. If we lived in the village, she'd be able to go to the playground or shop with a friend, but that wouldn't have been before about 8/9.