How old were your DCs when they were allowed to play out on their own?

[Primrosefrill]

And at what stages - e.g. were they allowed to play out the front on a quiet road, then down to the park etc? Did that depend on their personality?

Mine are 6&9. I am constantly torn between feeling like I am overprotective to feeling like I am being too relaxed.

[Greenoutside]

It’s statistically low, but it’s not unheard of either. But if you’re completely ignoring abduction and / or sex offences and traffic is the only consideration it does depend on where you live!

[YetMoreNewBeginnings]

@Greenoutside

It’s statistically low, but it’s not unheard of either. But if you’re completely ignoring abduction and / or sex offences and traffic is the only consideration it does depend on where you live!

Literally nobody has said that it’s the only consideration at all.

[Greenoutside]

So traffic isn’t the only consideration. My considerations would be

traffic
predatory offenders, including random abductions
accidents (drowning and the like)
bullying

And while where you live comes into it, it isn’t the case that anyone can assume that they are OK because of where they live. That’s not a criticism of anybody, but I do think sometimes people can live in a bit of a bubble and decide an area is ‘safe’ and it always is until it isn’t.

[itsmellslikepopcarn]

4, but I am the last house on a cul de sac with over 150 houses, with us being a circular shape. No-one drives down unless they live here. She wasn’t allowed to go past the end of our “street” out of view, and I definitely stood upstairs in the bedroom watching her the first few weeks!

[YetMoreNewBeginnings]

There’s always someone on these threads that assumes they’re the only one to take things into consideration.

Its quite baffling.

And the criticism is very clear.

[douglasadamswasright]

It depends on the child and their understanding of things like road safety and stranger danger. I'm honest with my child about the fact there are people out there who "do bad things" (or comprehension-appropriate explanations) as I want her to know and not be totally unaware that there is the possibility for something awful to happen should she not be careful.

So mine's just turned 7 and I let her play with the kids in the street, whose parents all keep a watchful eye from windows and front gardens. They skate up and down in a large group and there are older ones there who understand about keeping away from people.

I would not let her at this point go away from our road.

At 7 I was out and about, no mobiles existed, and bad things could easily have happened and there were some really close calls too. We were on roofs and being accosted by dangerous adults.

Going out as in away from home to a park or something else I am not sure when I will allow that... I think I will push it until the very last moment. It's all you can do. I've never raised a child above the age my child is so can't say. But she's very road safe but it only takes one moment of absence to be hit by a careless driver or kidnapped.

I try and ensure that she has enough going on with family, friends, and groups that she has a rich experience of life and childhood and she won't be pining to go down the park or away from home until much later.

[bakewellbride]

My eldest is a few months shy of 5. There is an area literally across our very quiet road where a group of kids sometimes kick a ball about. I think I'd be happy with that from age 6 as I can see it out of my living room window.

Park around the corner from us I'm not sure - maybe 8.

[Greenoutside]

@YetMoreNewBeginnings i promise there is no criticism. If you’ve read that into my post I’m sorry, as it really wasn’t my intention. What I do think is that we make a decision and that’s fine, but to put that decision down to a factor that is more about being in the wrong place at the wrong time than a reflection on a certain area is a bit naive. Unfortunately I’ve had one of those wrong place / wrong time moments touch me personally, so I am probably coming over as more annoying than I actually mean to be! As with all things, we make a decision based on the information we have.

[ksjsb]

It’s statistically low, but it’s not unheard of either. But if you’re completely ignoring abduction and / or sex offences and traffic is the only consideration it does depend on where you live!

Stabbing and shootings in schools aren't unheard of, do you send your kids to school still?

[Quisquam]

I’m not convinced by the ‘it depends where you live’ argument.

I am - round here, all the front gardens are open. There was a covenant in place, that there couldn’t be hard boundaries in the front gardens. I can look out the window and see across all the neighbours’ front gardens, because many of us don’t have hedges or anything. If a group of 8 - 10 children are playing out together in one front garden, how could one be abducted? To me, the risk was so small, as to be not worth worrying about. Getting in a car was more risky! (Indeed a lorry crashed into the back of my car and wrote it off, with DC in the back)

[Greenoutside]

@ksjsb

It’s statistically low, but it’s not unheard of either. But if you’re completely ignoring abduction and / or sex offences and traffic is the only consideration it does depend on where you live!

Stabbing and shootings in schools aren't unheard of, do you send your kids to school still?

It is far lower than cases of abduction and murder though. I can only think of one high profile school shooting in this country, but unfortunately there have been countless abductions and murders, although it is still a low overall risk.

[ksjsb]

It is far lower than cases of abduction and murder though. I can only think of one high profile school shooting in this country, but unfortunately there have been countless abductions and murders, although it is still a low overall risk.

Have you got the stats? Your perception isn't a fact. Abductions by strangers, not people known to the child.

[ksjsb]

(And that's why I included stabbings, as sadly they are less rare than shootings).

[Foxesandsquirrels]

@Greenoutside

It is far lower than cases of abduction and murder though. I can only think of one high profile school shooting in this country, but unfortunately there have been countless abductions and murders, although it is still a low overall risk.

Countless? You're more likely to win the lottery than be abducted by a stranger as a child. Most abductions/abuse happens from someone the child is comfortable with and knows.

[Foxesandsquirrels]

@ksjsb

(And that's why I included stabbings, as sadly they are less rare than shootings).

Sadly? You'd rather them be shootings?

[Greenoutside]

I don’t know the stats re stabbings and fatalities from those stabbings.

Abductions by strangers are rare but they are even rarer now, and to be honest that’s largely because there just isn’t the same sort of opportunity arising as there was in decades gone by. I know whether that’s a good thing or not is debatable but the point is it isn’t about whether you live in a nice area or not, it’s just who is passing through your area at any given time!

[Scalottia]

@Waxdrip

4-5 in communal gardens with the other neighbourhood kids. It was the norm where we lived and I always could hear them with the window open. DC still has happy memories of this.

Yep same.

[Foxesandsquirrels]

@Greenoutside

I don’t know the stats re stabbings and fatalities from those stabbings.

Abductions by strangers are rare but they are even rarer now, and to be honest that’s largely because there just isn’t the same sort of opportunity arising as there was in decades gone by. I know whether that’s a good thing or not is debatable but the point is it isn’t about whether you live in a nice area or not, it’s just who is passing through your area at any given time!

A substantial amount of abuse and grooming now happens online. A games console and a phone with access to internet is far more dangerous for kids now than playing out is. Especially when you look at the pros and cons and perceived risks.

[crackofdoom]

About 5 in our quiet cul de sac, on the proviso they stayed where I could see them from the kitchen windows, with that rule gradually relaxing as they got older. To the park 100m away, 10 I think. To the shop 10 minutes walk away, 11 (and that's a milestone moment, when your child can run and get eggs for you!)

With a 12 year old sibling, to the park at 7. (And then he wandered home alone because his brother got immersed in a game of football and ignored him 🙄).

[goodkidsmaadhouse]

From age 6ish I think.

Looking back to my own childhood, as kids we were barely ever bothered when playing out. I remember one incident of some older girls being mean to me and my friend and scaring us.

As teenagers - almost all the boys were mugged and almost all the girls were groped/followed/somehow a victim of unwanted sexual attention. I’m actually much more worried about my kids being out and about as teens than I am about them now. (I do worry about them now - but I don’t want my concerns about very statistically unlikely events to limit their lives.)

[VitaminX]

From about 5 out in the communal gardens around our house and our neighbours' houses. The neighbourhood kids are often out running round the gardens together.

To go a little further afield, to the playground or the local shop, I let my eldest go from 7 and my youngest can go now at nearly 6 if he is with her, but not alone or with same-age friends until he's 7 too. 5 year old isn't allowed to cross roads even with his sister (they go on paths between the houses, which are not next to roads), but my 8 year old has been walking/cycling to school by herself all this year and she can use crossings with lights or cross very quiet roads. She sometimes goes out by herself to call on her friends who live nearby.

[caringcarer]

I've always had a large garden so my kids played in the garden and could have friends to play with them. I live in a quiet cul des sac but no way I'd let them play on the road? Why would you? When older I took them to the park as it was several miles away, they wandered off to play, I read my book and drank my coffee or just walked around the park. When 12 or 13 I dropped them into town to meet friends then collected them later.

[Abouttimemum]

I can’t imagine a time in the near future when DS will be able to ‘play out’. We live on a busy crossroads, and the park is a drive away. it’s one of the things that worries me about his independence growing up really.

[Daisydu]

depends on the kid. My 10 year old plays out. But my nearly 9 year old isn’t allowed, just because she isn’t as street wise as my 10 year old. You have to decide wether they are sensible enough really.

[Foxesandsquirrels]

@goodkidsmaadhouse

From age 6ish I think.

Looking back to my own childhood, as kids we were barely ever bothered when playing out. I remember one incident of some older girls being mean to me and my friend and scaring us.

As teenagers - almost all the boys were mugged and almost all the girls were groped/followed/somehow a victim of unwanted sexual attention. I’m actually much more worried about my kids being out and about as teens than I am about them now. (I do worry about them now - but I don’t want my concerns about very statistically unlikely events to limit their lives.)

I agree with this. I think kids are far safer than teens just playing out. I hate my teen going outside without a plan. It never ends well. She has lots of clubs and interests she does instead. Spent lots and lots of time playing out when younger which was brilliant.