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Original poster

Did you buy your house with your head or heart?

61 replies

FrostingfromaSpoon · 12/06/2023 14:54

Hi,

We're currently considering moving house and have viewed a few houses to see if it's worth going on the market, so very much at the beginning of the process.

I've seen some very nice houses, in budget, nice area, little compromises, but for some reason they just haven't felt like home. Our current house very much does feel that way, but the area just doesn't. It's not a bad area, just dull. Saying that, as soon as I walked in the house it felt like home and we compromised on much more than we thought we would because of that feeling.

With all that in mind, I'm starting to wonder if for this move we should start listening more to our heads, given that we never really settled here because we didn't connect with the area - just the house.

Be interesting to hear your thoughts and personal experiences.

TIA

OP posts:

Lcb123 · 12/06/2023 14:56

Head - always. You need to stay realistic, no house is perfect. And if you let heart
lead you might over look problems that come up during conveyancing / in the survey. I don’t expect to feel at home until we move in, decorate and have our stuff there.

kelsaycobbles · 12/06/2023 14:56

Head

Because if it's right then you can make it feel like home , not be seduced by perfect and lovely when you buy

Original poster

FrostingfromaSpoon · 12/06/2023 15:01

The thing is @kelsaycobbles it really wasn't perfect. It had lots of things we wanted to change, but I remember getting emotional and feeling like we already lived there. I'm normally quite logical.

OP posts:

kelsaycobbles · 12/06/2023 15:04

Yes but it's that connection that is triggered by something subconscious- an echo of an earlier safe place or such- so you know "it's the one" ( which is what I meant by perfect ) but it's intuition which is heavily flawed

You can make the feeling - you can't change the location - and it's expensive to add space

WedTheBed · 12/06/2023 15:05

Head. I was heavily pregnant. Our current house was too small for two children and was a dooer-upper.. that we couldn’t afford to do up in the end and wasn’t very child friendly inside or outside.

we ended up buying a three story new build. Large bedrooms for the kids, able to have a playroom and we have a large bedroom with an en suite. The garden is closed with a lockable gate and high fences, at the very bottom of a quiet estate with views of rolling hills and sheep. It’s lovely for us as a family. But I never would have chosen a new build estate had we had more time and more money.

lebit · 12/06/2023 15:15

Head, definitely. Most of our needs come down to a good location and enough space. The location is perfect - really close to school, amenities, transport, parks, high street. And it was pretty much the only 4 bed within budget in the area. We could have got a beautiful house to fall in love with further out, but then we'd be stuck in away from everything and be dependent on a car. Our house isn't quite as big as I'd like, some bedrooms are too small and others are too big, and the garden is tiny. But I'm glad we chose it every time we go out for the day, because the location makes it so easy to do that.

Thesoundofmusic23 · 12/06/2023 15:16

Both - we needed more space and had a smallish budget for where we were buying. Looked at a really wide range of options and bought the house that gave us what we needed and also felt like it could be our home. Def not perfect but a gut feeling. Been here two year and it was definitely the right move.

I have had that feeling in all three homes we have bought.

ladygindiva · 12/06/2023 15:18

Head. New build, affordable, close to family , work, school. Didn't like the layout, blandness etc. Still don't , BUT can afford it even during COLC , energy bills are low, life is easy re school/ work/ travel, it was DEFINITELY the right move.

Bluebells1970 · 12/06/2023 15:21

I'd say both. It was primarily the location and village, but even though the house was shabby and dated, I just had a good feeling the moment that we walked through the door.

We're now having to move thanks to the tw*ts that moved in over the road a few years ago and built a bar in their front garden during lockdown. We've viewed dozens of houses and just aren't getting a good vibe from any of them as there are just too many compromises

Goes back to googling setting fire to wooden objects from a distance

QforCucumber · 12/06/2023 15:21

Head - we fell in love with a house, but I was 6 months pregnant with 2nd baby and it needed a LOT to make it into what we wanted (replacing beams, walls knocking down, new kitchen)

We ended up buying a new build around the corner, similar price and bigger garden and it was 'done' which turned out great as 3 weeks after getting the keys the world went into lockdown and we'd never have been able to do any work before DS2 came along in May 2020.

Runwayqueen · 12/06/2023 15:23

Head. We purchased a new build, not the type of property we would have chosen if being led by our hearts, but it's worked out okay.

WildFlowerBees · 12/06/2023 15:23

Both, view twice if possible.

Heronmunching · 12/06/2023 15:26

Head .. but motivated by wanting to stay in a particular village ( heart) .. it was the only 4 bed detached on the market we could afford

grosslyunfair · 12/06/2023 15:29

I fell madly in love with a horribly impractical house that was not possible to get a mortgage on. I tried for months to find a way to make it work and it was only when the survey came back with huge numbers of issues that I admitted defeat. It would have destroyed my bank balance and my sanity and I still regret it with my heart but not my head!

I'm buying one that works on both levels- saw lots of 'that could work' properties but only offered on one that my head and heart both think makes sense! I like period properties and although there are lots of good reasons to buy a new build I just couldn't do it. But this one is in good condition and well maintained.

UsingChangeofName · 12/06/2023 15:30

Both.

So we only looked at ones that suited the 'head' - the logical, or 'reasoned' list, if you like (number of bedrooms, parking, garden, school catchment / whatever reason is for moving) but when we walked out after viewing this one, we both just "knew". There was a feeling we didn't get with others we had looked at (including 2 others on the same day as this, which, on paper were similar).

lastminutewednesday · 12/06/2023 15:31

Head. Moved from one I bought with my heart. Miss the one I moved from every single day. Totally the wrong decision even though logically it made the most sense. I don't think I'll ever not regret it.

PositiveLife · 12/06/2023 15:33

Both. There were bits of the house I loved (gave it character) but fundamentally it was more practical than any others in budget. Since then I've uncovered more original features and I love it, though it does have all sorts of issues too.

The only house I ever regret buying was the one I bought for completely practical reasons.

Lemonademoney · 12/06/2023 15:33

Predominantly head but I do think you want to feel some kind of connection to the house.

TheMonstera · 12/06/2023 15:43

Head.

I was pregnant with 2nd dc & we needed more space but didn’t have a big budget. We moved from a small 2 bed new build in a city to a 3 storey Victorian property in a different town nearer family.
It’s not the perfect house - don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely, but it’s needed things doing to it, the garden is tiny compared to our last place BUT its 10 mins from family, schools and nursery are within walking distance & best of all, the sea & sandy beaches are a mere 5 min walk away.

mindutopia · 12/06/2023 15:44

Both - it's a very good investment with room to expand and to add value (incl multiple outbuildings for development) and will leave our dc with a comfortable amount of equity one day, but we do absolutely love it. Personally, I wouldn't buy anything that I didn't love. There are a million houses out there. There will be one for you that you love.

macshoto · 12/06/2023 15:51

Heart - farmhouse in the middle of its own land, South facing, beautiful view, poor internet, not as finished as it appeared, still needed lots of money spending on it.

We've spent lots of money, found ways to improve the internet, live with the very pretty impractical leaded light windows, and accept that it costs a fortune to heat in the winter.

Just about everyone who visits comments what a lovely location it is - but that does ignore the day-to-day impracticality of 15 miles to the nearest rail station, petrol station or sensible-sized shop.

Still not sure I would make a different decision...

OpenDoors72 · 12/06/2023 15:55

Heart. Lots of houses were good on paper but meh in reality.

It's like online dating. You need chemistry.

LibertyLily · 12/06/2023 16:47

lastminutewednesday · 12/06/2023 15:31

I could have written that! So sorry you feel that way too.

We bought our previous house with our hearts (well, mine anyway as DH actually preferred the house we were selling but the location was wrong) - I'd admired it from afar on RM as it was 150+ miles away and knew I'd love it before we viewed. On viewing day from the first moment everything about it felt right and even DH had to concede it was lovely.

Our circumstances changed and we had to sell (long story). We viewed our current house and I absolutely hated it - despite me finding it and it being a rural cottage that many people would covet...on the outside at least. Inside all character had been removed and although we wanted a project/weren't fazed by the work to reinstate features having done it before, I just couldn't feel the love.

Five years on its unrecognisable internally and truly gorgeous (mostly - still a few bits to do), but I still don't like it and regret selling our last house daily.

It'll be a heart decision for us next time.

MrsAvocet · 12/06/2023 17:04

Head.
Wasn't what we had in mind at all. We moved from a big city to the countryside and imagined living in a rambling old farmhouse with roses round the door, but ended up buying a modern house. We viewed quite a lot of "heart" houses but there was always at least one big downside, mainly location,needing too much work or both. We came very close to buying an absolutely beautiful house that we eventually turned down because it was just that bit too big, and slightly too far for DH's commute. By chance, when DS went to secondary school he made friends with one of the kids who live there now and the first time we got invited round I did wonder if I would be upset, as it was "the one that got away." However after hearing about how much the roof repairs had cost, and the hassle of getting new window frames made (it's listed, so no giving Everest a call!) I came to the conclusion that we had actually had a very lucky escape. I mean it's still gorgeous and I kind of envy them, but had we bought it I think it would have owned us, not vice versa. Our house ticked all the boxes except the olde worlde character, and has proved to be a great place to raise a family. We've made some cosmetic changes so whilst it's still not a chocolate box cottage it looks much nicer and it is spacious, light, low maintenance and very well situated.

sunshinesupermum · 12/06/2023 17:05

I have always bought with my heart and that has entailed 5 moves. One home I always regret moving from but ex-husband insisted. One reason why he's the ex.

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