Helping out on school trips

[Rainyrunway]

My year 3 DC REALLY wants me to go along and help out on their upcoming school trip. They asked last year as well but I couldn't get the time off work. The problem is I only have limited holiday allowance and I'd personally prefer to save it for other things like days out with DC, going away or the occasional school event like their Christmas play or sports day etc. But should I make the effort? Is this the sort of thing it's important to do as a parent, even if it means we can't do something else because I've used that days leave? DC says about the other mums who go and it's making me feel guilty but I know that the ones who are going don't have work that day / at all.
Thanks for your thoughts

It sounds important to your daughter, she is likely to be proud to have you with her on a school trip. Tbh I'd go on one and enjoy her wanting you around, she won't by the time she gets to year 6.

By Y3 I would explain that if you do take that day then there will be another day you’re not free. I’ve had this conversation with DS2 (Y2) and he can understand. Then, if she does understand and is still keen, and if it’s not going to cause a problem further down the line, I would try to go.

I’ve helped on one school trip and my DH has done one. I’ve volunteered for others but haven’t been picked. I have to say my DD seem to love me being there. It doesn’t seem to be too much to ask every now and again ( and why should it always be other people enabling these trips to go ahead?)

I would save your holiday for other things. She is year 3 she can understand maths of 13 weeks school holidays and whatever your entitlement is and the difference. Yes some other parents might be able to do it but it doesn't mean every child gets their parent there. Think of every teacher who is also a parent. They don't get to do sports days or assemblies unless they are at the same school. Talk to your child about that sort of thing.

I have done school trips but I volunteer in school and I don't work so am not eating into precious holiday entitlement.

I would keep home and school separate. This isn’t going to be something you can commit to long term, and I think it’s better for DC not to have a parent there - it switches their focus from the adults who are in charge i.e. teachers/support assistants.

I helped out, for free in my DS’s class so often got asked to go on school trips. I didn’t always get my son in my group, so there’s no guarantee you will get to spend time with your child. I’ve got some great memories of some of the trips we went on that my child doesn’t remember.

Agreed. I didn’t either. Volunteering is about supporting the school so you can’t guarantee that you’ll be with your child. At 3 it sounds like a nursery rather than a school though so maybe the numbers are lower.

I used to go on practically all the trips. Meant I got to go to places for free when normally I would have to pay. It was great.

I'd go. They either want to show you off to their friends as their parent, which is very sweet, or they want you to connect more with what they do at school. I'd explain it will mean one less day out and one more day in holiday camp/childcare or whatever to them though.

I hadn't thought about the fact that I might not actually be with their group! I have twins so unless they are in the same group, either both or one of them will be disappointed! I might speak to them both about it again tonight and if they are still adamant I'll ask their form teacher how it would work.

When I used to help out on school trips - many moons ago - it was policy that you didn't have your own child in your group.

I would do it, if you can ask if you can be with your DC, our school always put parents with their DC. If you're not with them, then don't.
There's only a very short time when DC want their parents on school trips, grasp it!

Is this a thing, still? My school stopped having parent helpers on trips YEARS ago! And back then, they would never be put with their own child.

Well if I'm not with the DC then I'm definitely not using a day's annual leave! I don't think the school are struggling to get volunteers.

I would do one then your DC has the memory of you helping out on a school trip. Do explain to your DC that they probably won’t be in your group.

I helped out on 3 school trips-R,1 and 2. I was able to help as for some reason they always seemed to fall on my day off (by the third one I swore blind the teachers were phoning my manager to check I was on a day off). Although full time I do 4 10 hour shifts a week, plus I'm DBS checked due to work. DD loved it, and I always had her and another child. Although 1 trip I had 4 of the little darlings! Covid then hit and trips were then arranged that helpers weren't required

I always wanted my mum to go at least once and she never did. Same with baking cake for school bake sale etc. She never bothered and I was so jealous of other kids' mums doing this. I would go if I were you, they won't be like this forever.

In our school you'd be put in a different group from your child. I've done it a few times, I think it's better that way.

Does she want you to go because she is shy / nervous etc?

At or school it was policy (based on long experience) that parent helpers were not looking after their own child’s group.

Plenty of other ways you can get involved.

When my children were at primary I often helped on trips as I was a SAHM at that time. I never had my child in my group - in fact many of the trips I wasn’t even with my child’s class.

Since then I’ve worked in a few schools and if we do use parent helpers they are never with their own child.

If I were you OP I’d definitely save the leave for family time or sports days etc.

I did it as my child kept asking and it was the most stressful thing I've ever done. I had to be in charge of 6 5 year olds and they are bloody fast. Plus the coach wouldn't start when we were about to leave and it was soooo hot and we'd all drunk our drinks through the day. Never again.

Have spoken to the teacher and she said I could be with my kids as she hasn't worked out the groups as yet. So I'm seeing what my boss thinks about letting me take the day off at fairly short notice. Will depend if we have enough cover. If so I will go along and hope for small groups.
And if it was stressful with a coach I imagine it will be terrifying. It's going by train and tube in central London 😱

I went on numerous trips, both for DD's class and others.
I never had DD in my group, it wouldn't have been good for her, plus it meant I could give all children equal priority / attention. I used to see her at the lunch break and that was it.

It is really important if you go as a parent helper to realise you aren't having a day out with your kids and their friends, you are there as a responsible adult to help ensure they have a safe, educational, enjoyable trip. Too often I saw other parents walking along with their child or a child they know well, paying limited attention to whether their group was in the way of others on pavements, or doing something unsafe or just ignoring some of the group.

I found 5yos fine. They tend to want to stick close to 'their' adult. Set out expectations, lots of praise for good behaviour, tell the teacher how good they all were at the end.

The most stressful trip I had was y4s to Stonehenge. Not my DC's class so I didnt know them. Old enough to be all self confident and not stick by the adult, but too young to roam independently and be out of sight.
Plus it rained.

The events are important and it's great and community making but anyone I ever spoke to quoted cliques as the reason - people who only acknowledge others when they need something. Rude, unfriendly, controlling bullies.

Parents should rise above and still help but are too intimidated and not wanting to to deal with unpleasantness.