Would this bother you? Or am i being precious?

[PitYacker]

New next door neighbours, middle aged couple but have grandchildren there a lot, like weeks at a time as they live in a different part of the country.
The lad, all through the half term holiday, would throw his football backwards over his head and into my garden on purpose, repeatedly. So he had to come in repeatedly to retrieve it. Annoying, but i let it go.

This morning he came in my garden to use as a hiding place from his sister. No ball involved. Just using it as an extension to his grandparents garden! He was mooching about round the bush by my front window, where birds are nesting, then he came up to my window, cupped the sides of his face then peering right into my living room.

Am I unreasonable to find this really intrusive? I understand there will be people telling me to get a grip and they really wouldn't get worked about minding their own business in their own house while an 11 year old boy was pressed up against the window watching you, am i being too uptight to let this bother me? I am a private person anyway...

You are definitely not bring unreasonable, that's really weird and at 11 he should know better.

Nope. You need to go round and have a word. Are his grandparents aware that he has been repeatedly entering your garden? Staring into somebody’s window is really intrusive and inappropriate.

I would hate this too OP & would be knocking on their door to (initially) ask politely that the children stay out of your garden.

I woud 100% not like this & I would tell him to stop coming in your garden for any reason

No you're not being precious. I would have told him to bugger off ! .

Are you sure he's 11? That seems odd behaviour from a child that age tbh! I have a son the same age who wouldn't dream of doing this.

How is he getting access to your garden tho? Is it a shared space? Or could it feasibly look like a shared space to a child?

I wouldn't mind him in my garden to retrieve his ball or whatever though.

Definitely 11. His GM told me his age the other week. Not a shared garden, all totally private and fenced off. He just walks round from theirs and in my gate

@PitYacker maybe just have a quiet word with the neighbours saying "I notice Billy keeps throwing his ball into my garden and it does seem to be deliberate. I know he probably doesn't want to disturb me by knocking on, but can you please tell him not to just let himself in the gate because he scared the life out of me yesterday when he did it" Or words to that effect.

Failing that, get a padlock for the gate.

Every time he walks in...say "please leave, this is my garden"

Speak directly to the boy and tell him off!

Put a lock on your gate.

then he came up to my window, cupped the sides of his face then peering right into my living room.

Your description is perfect but sorry, it did make me laugh

Still not acceptable though

Of course YANBU.

Him entering the garden is so easily solvable. Just get a lock for your gate.

If he keeps throwing the ball over then perhaps a gentle word with the GM to say you don't want to keep being disturbed so could he be a bit more careful when throwing it.

Definitely not being precious. Best thing I’d suggest is popping round to the grandparents and asking that they ask him not to come into your garden. If he does it again then you cAn tell him off directly

Firstly have a word with them and secondly get some bolts put on your gates .

I would wait until he did it again , preferably going near your window, open the front door and screech , 'why are you looking through my window ' as loud as you can.
It should scare the living daylighhts out of him. He has no excuse and when his grandparents come out to see what is happening you can tell them you thought it was a peeping tom as you saw only a male face at your window. You will be flustered which they can interpret as he has alarmed you .
If they dont come out you can then march round with the same complaint. I bet they leave him to do what he wants to occupy himself outside and its preferable to him teasing his sister.

I don't know why you didn't go out in the first place and tell him to sling his hook. Just knock on nextdoor and tell them to it needs to stop now

Get a gate for your garden and trellis on fence if he can jump over. Speak to the GP's about it and put in form boundaries.

Next time he comes in discover you're very hot and need to be naked.

I very much doubt he'll cup his hands and peer through again

No that's definitely a bit weird. He's 11. Not 4.

Nope not precious at all. You have every right to feel how you do. Kids are kids but he is ELEVEN, not five. Definitely set your boundaries and do it confidently.

Spray with a hose?

Definitely get a lock for your gate. Also ask him not to knock for his ball - you will throw it back when next you're in the garden.

Speak to the neighbours and ask them to tell him not to use your garden. Get a lock on your gate.

I’d lock the gate and tell the grandparents he’s been coming into your garden and peering in your windows and that it would be good if they asked him to stop as you’d rather not tell him off before they’ve had a chance to talk to him.