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Original poster

Two night break alone would you do it?

104 replies

3kidsaremorethanenough · 10/06/2023 20:21

Dh was planning this as a surprise for my birthday but told me today before he booked anything just to check I would be OK with it. He was going to book me two nights away to a place I have already been (and adored but we only did a day trip at the time) it's a flight, bus and train journey then a full day exploring by myself staying in a lovely little pub....all by myself....see I am always banging on about having a night away, just me and a good book somewhere nice!! And now he is suggesting it I'm actually a bit afraid. The place itself is heavenly for fans of literature, so I would be well occupied and love it. What would you do, would you do it😬

OP posts:
Lissadell · 11/06/2023 10:03

Newtrix · 11/06/2023 09:58

I'm really suprised how many people enjoy going places alone. To me one of the joys of exploring new places and trying new things is sharing it with someone. I come from a big blended family and DH says I'm happiest among people and chaos, this thread makes me realise he's right.

I grew up in a big family living in a small overcrowded house with extended family members — it’s meant that as an adult, while I’m a very sociable person and my friendships are very important, I like my own space. Travelling solo is pure bliss for me, especially to somewhere I can mainline art.

Welliehead · 11/06/2023 10:04

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:03

DH's can leave. Or die. My mum was widowed at 60 and looks likely to live till her 90s. She is in her 70s and travels alone sometimes. Luckily has good health.

Of course they can die but hopefully dh won't die quite yet and if he does going away on my own will feel even more fucking miserable

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 11/06/2023 10:06

I’m not a parent but most parents I know (and non parents) would jump on this.

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:07

Ok. I am really surprised how so many women won't go anywhere alone.

You can still share stuff when you come back. My interest is archaeology and sometimes literature and DH is keen to share it when I am back, in small doses. He doesn't want to spend hours in musuems and dig sites though.

Welliehead · 11/06/2023 10:10

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:07

Ok. I am really surprised how so many women won't go anywhere alone.

You can still share stuff when you come back. My interest is archaeology and sometimes literature and DH is keen to share it when I am back, in small doses. He doesn't want to spend hours in musuems and dig sites though.

I go to lots of places alone

I have lots of interests that dh doesn't share that I do during the day

If I was staying in a nice hotel I'd want him there at least for dinner and bed.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 11/06/2023 10:13

About 5 years ago one of my best friends who lives in USA was tearing her hair out with teenagers. Her DH worked away from home a lot.

I suggested a Thai week long spa break and smother week on another island. I paid for the spa break for her and she paid for the rest. Her in laws offered to come and stay and helped out with childcare.

She had the best time and though she missed her DC and DH she thought it was great for her health, mental health. I mean she wasn’t by herself technically but flew to Thailand from USA and I flew from UK so she did fly by herself. She and I also did a 2 day short trip to South Korea as her adopted DC are from there.

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:13

Judging by OP's name, if she and her DH went away together, they would have to take the 3 kids she has had enough of! This was also my problem when the DC were younger. I needed a break from them but childcare....

SomethingNastyInTheGenePool · 11/06/2023 10:14

Hell to the yeah! And I also want to know where this literary paradise is!

Silvergoldandglitter · 11/06/2023 10:17

I would hate this. When I go somewhere I want someone to experience it with and discuss things we see and the food we eat. I can't imagine going somewhere and spending the whole time silent. I'd be bored to death.

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:22

But the thing is OP says she has dreamt of having quiet time with a book. So am presuming there is nothing stopping her except the feeling that she needs to go everywhere with her DH like Noah's Ark- or 3 kids hanging around her neck- because that is the convention.

Original poster
3kidsaremorethanenough · 11/06/2023 10:37

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:22

But the thing is OP says she has dreamt of having quiet time with a book. So am presuming there is nothing stopping her except the feeling that she needs to go everywhere with her DH like Noah's Ark- or 3 kids hanging around her neck- because that is the convention.

Absolutely, this in a nutshell. Myself ans Dh used to travel solo all the time before we met and before kids so I suppose I feel like I'm being a bad mum leaving them all behind. Nearly selfish. Myself and dh have a lovely little trip planned for November as he has had a significant birthday this year. Just the two of us and we have a family holiday planned too. But yes they all find my interest boring!! I literally got half an hr to indulge in this place the time we all went there as the kids were hungry/bored/pains in the a** 😁 and dh felt bad about it. So it's not a fear as such more like good old guilt! The kids are now teenagers and are nearly more demanding than ever and I look after a parent with dementia when I'm not working so free time alone with my own thoughts is extremely limited.

OP posts:
WonderDays · 11/06/2023 10:43

It sounds like the trip will be really benefit you, caring for a parent with dementia is hard enough without working and have 3 DC as well.

CatfoodOzymandias · 11/06/2023 10:50

Get rid of the guilt. With a parent with dementia and 3 teens, you deserve time away on your own. Leaving teens behind is no biggie and does not make you a bad mum.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 11/06/2023 10:55

I idea is nice. I wouldn't do all that travel for 2 days though. Very thoughtful of him to think of this.

Lamped · 11/06/2023 10:56

If you just want to sit quietly alone with a book then I'd go somewhere nearer. If this destination is special and somewhere you want to go then by all means go for it! I did a solo hotel stay last year (just one night in a hotel 20 minutes down the road) and it was amazing!

WonderDays · 11/06/2023 10:57

I don’t get the not doing the travel for only two days thing, lots of friends say something similar and they end up not going anywhere.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 11/06/2023 11:00

Just read your last post and well sometimes travel is stress than being at home with teenagers! (No offence to even the sweetest teenagers but food racket laundry towels etc)

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 11/06/2023 11:00

*less stress

Lcb123 · 11/06/2023 11:03

Of course, I travel a lot on my own usually tagged onto work trips - I love it!

Herecomesthemoon · 11/06/2023 11:03

I'm single and happy with days out on my own - parks, seaside, cinema, theatre, museums, lunch etc.
I tried a 2 night trip away but just did not feel comfortable in the evenings and have not done it since. I was not at all anxious before going but was anxious when there. It's not worth doing something that makes you anxious as you don't enjoy it.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/06/2023 11:05

Dear God woman is said yes just reading the title. Tell him that's a great present, thank, and get thy bags packed immediately!

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 11/06/2023 11:06

PS. Totally not selfish to have a mini break alone. Don't let that hold you back.

ToddlerIs2 · 11/06/2023 11:18

For my 40th , I did a coach trip to Maastricht on my own. Day of travel confined to a coach where everyone else had a pal / partner, few visiting sites, the concert. Left DH with 3 kids 7, 2, 2 and it was great. I love them but

As that ferry pulled away from the coast, I realised this was the furthest I had been from "people I love" since I was 22 when I went to Torremolinos alone. Every other holiday was at least with a friend. Weekends away with work etc, all in the UK so I could always get back if needed. The odd night alone for a friend's wedding etc.
I stood on the back of that boat and watched the coast recede along with my responsibilities. It was so freeing and altho I won't be doing it again for a while (money, AL etc) it was good to know I was OK just as me, not Mom or wife etc.

egowise · 11/06/2023 11:53

I go away on my own regularly!

Going abroad again in aug for 5 days. It's bliss!

So yes, do it!

DappledThings · 11/06/2023 12:00

Absolutely! And also really nosey and wanting to know where you are headed

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