Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Should I comment on friends filler?

86 replies

readysetcake · 09/06/2023 20:01

Friend said she was going to get small amount of lip filler as she was unhappy with thinning lips. Fair enough, go for it.

I saw her this morning for first time I. A couple of weeks and she’s obviously had it done. They’re not massive but noticeable as having had filler. Trouble is I think she looked better before. Would obviously never say that …. Would it be ok to just not mention it and if she brings it up just say I never noticed? I’m worried that she is going to ask what I think it looks like. I don’t think I’m a very good liar. I don’t want to hurt her feelings 🙁 So definitely don’t want to bring the subject up.

As long as she’s happy with it that’s the main thing. She was licking them a lot so maybe she’s literally just had them done and they’re still a bit puffy and will go down a bit?

Things like this stress me out loads. I’m going to be so anxious next time I see her.

OP posts:
fireflyloo · 09/06/2023 21:41

I wouldn't say you haven't noticed as you obviously have. By saying that some people might think they need to go bigger. Say nothing until she asks, then id say 'I think you had lovely lips before, but as long as you're happy then that's the main thing'.

RoxyMuzak · 09/06/2023 21:44

Daughter has friends on FB that look grotesque. I can't think of a better word for it.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 09/06/2023 21:50

TinyRebel · 09/06/2023 21:06

I must be a terrible friend because I’d probably greet her with an “Alright fishlips?”😂

So would I 😂

WoolyAndYug · 09/06/2023 21:52

I can't believe you're stressed out about this. What's so hard about saying "are you happy with them? You look great."

Mirabai · 09/06/2023 22:18

Don’t lie - that is the reason that women go round looking ridiculous. They kid themselves and their friends lie to them.

If she asks tell her you think they look fine but in your view she looked better without.

troubg · 09/06/2023 22:36

This is why I always side eye the posts where people say "I had X done but not one of my friends even noticed".

stealthninjamum · 09/06/2023 22:42

I would probably be cowardly and say they look great but I do wish I could be honest and tell the truth. I see so many people with these unnatural lips these days and it’s such a shame because they would look better without. I worry that dd2 would go for this and ruin her lovely face.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/06/2023 22:48

They will still be swollen and will clam down soon

ThreeRingCircus · 09/06/2023 22:49

troubg · 09/06/2023 22:36

This is why I always side eye the posts where people say "I had X done but not one of my friends even noticed".

Yes exactly! People always say "oh, nobody even noticed I'd had it done!" It's so, so noticeable that if nobody has said anything they're probably just trying to be polite and hoping you don't ask how it looks like OP is.

tiggergoesbounce · 09/06/2023 22:51

Gunpowder · 09/06/2023 20:08

There are lots of ways of not lying and also not hurting people’s feelings by offering a brutally honest opinion.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. If she brings it up you can smile and say ‘Wow! Yes you said you were going to do it! How was it? Did it hurt? Are you happy with the result?’

If she directly asks you if you think it looks good, you can say you think she has always had natural beauty and doesn’t need help, but if it makes her happier that’s all that counts.

This is perfect 👍

USaYwHatNow · 09/06/2023 22:53

@HeadNorth yes but my lips do look good, it's a small amount of filler which is why no one has noticed. And these are friends who would absolutely tell me if they thought they looked awful 😂

Mirabai · 09/06/2023 22:54

troubg · 09/06/2023 22:36

This is why I always side eye the posts where people say "I had X done but not one of my friends even noticed".

Exactly.

Mirabai · 09/06/2023 22:54

USaYwHatNow · 09/06/2023 22:53

@HeadNorth yes but my lips do look good, it's a small amount of filler which is why no one has noticed. And these are friends who would absolutely tell me if they thought they looked awful 😂

That’s what OP’s mate thinks.

USaYwHatNow · 09/06/2023 22:55

@HeadNorth ive actually re read your comment again, did you meant it to come across that bitchy?

HRTeatime · 09/06/2023 22:59

Oh god. This reminds me of the time someone I worked with (lovely woman) was so excited about getting fillers. She came in to work after the weekend and I really didn’t know what to say, it was not good. She thankfully made it easier by telling me her teen son had told her she looked like the joker. I think they way I snorted my coffee and half choked confirmed to her that he was indeed correct….

Theskipisfull · 09/06/2023 23:01

HRTeatime · 09/06/2023 22:59

Oh god. This reminds me of the time someone I worked with (lovely woman) was so excited about getting fillers. She came in to work after the weekend and I really didn’t know what to say, it was not good. She thankfully made it easier by telling me her teen son had told her she looked like the joker. I think they way I snorted my coffee and half choked confirmed to her that he was indeed correct….

🤣

Bunbuns3 · 10/06/2023 00:03

The truth is, absolutely nobody looks better with filler. Your friend is not alone. People are literally paying money to look disfigured.

WouldYouLikeACrabPuff · 10/06/2023 00:55

They aren't permanent.is she a best/ close friend? If she asks directly "do you think they're too big? " ask her what she was expecting they'd look like/ if she's happy with them/ would you get the same amount again?
I think I'd judge from her reaction really. But she was already thinking she didn't look good, then did something to boost her confidence. So I wouldn't tell her that they look awful, just that you think she's lovely with small lip, big lip, no lip. You don't have to lie just let her know she's alright whatever 😊

bussteward · 10/06/2023 02:10

sevenbyseven · 09/06/2023 21:32

Don't say you hadn't noticed! Imagine if she got them topped up as a result.

Then she could keep not noticing. See how many top-ups she’ll do. She could end up all lip with eyes and hair on top.

WandaWonder · 10/06/2023 02:28

If I am asked a direct question I answer totally honestly, if not I dont

Zippedydoo123 · 10/06/2023 06:03

A lot of these aesthetic beauticians are really bad at their job. Even a nurse. I speak from experience.

I see a dentist who trained in aesthetics in Harley Street. She is mint. Personally I find experienced dentists are the only way to go.

CurtainsForBea · 10/06/2023 06:28

USaYwHatNow · 09/06/2023 20:14

I've recently had filler for the first time and I'm about 4 weeks post. At 2 weeks post filler they still hadn't settled properly, so I wouldn't comment. You may find next time you see her they have settled/become less swollen. None of my friends noticed mine unless I actually pointed it out.

No, I suspect they just did not comment. Like the OP- she does not know what to say.

CurtainsForBea · 10/06/2023 06:33

DyslexicPoster · 09/06/2023 20:52

Just say they look nice but you preferred her without as she was pretty anyway?

yes this I agree.

I only caught a bit of it so i am not sure what I was listening to, but a few days back on radio4 there was a woman talking about all this craze for botox and fillers etc and she pointed out quite rightly that no-one has any clue whatsoever what the long term effects might be on an individual. And it has served to just make people look the same where true beauty comes from living a life in your own body. i am paraphrasing madly of course, but for some reason it really resonated with me as i have been considering botox as 'everyone does it now, right?'

LadyWithLapdog · 10/06/2023 06:44

The sooner this goes out of fashion, the better. It’s such a standardised, clichéd look.

In answer to OP, depends how good a friend. An acquaintance, not worth it. If it’s a close friend I’d listen to them and console them if they think they look too blubbery. If they seem really happy, don’t burst their bubble.

LadyWithLapdog · 10/06/2023 06:46

@CurtainsForBea my niece (19) was saying some of her friends are having Botox to prevent wrinkles. That’s monumentally stupid IMO but they’re adults now.