Can anyone check my grammar on this complaint email please

[GimmieCousCous]

I'm a bit thick when it comes to spag and just need a little proofread if anyone has 5 mins?

Hello,

My name is GimmieCousCous and I have been in temporary accommodation since April of 2016 due to a house fire at my rented property.

In July of 2016 a decision was made that I had made myself intentionally homeless. The reasoning given in this decision was that I did not move back into the property, and wait to be evicted. However, this would not have been possible due to the landlord intending to repair the fire damage and sell the property.

In the same month I received the homeless decision, I submitted a review and have been waiting since July of 2016 for a decision.
From July 2016 until July 2021 I had been receiving extension requests. In July 2021 these requests ceased.
After many emails and phonecalls over many years, I did receive correspondence from SomeWoman, in which they proposed an extension until 06/05/2022. I have had no updates since. I have been told that there is a backlog due to covid but had already been waiting almost 4 years for a decision before the pandemic.

Despite numerous emails and phone calls over the last 7 years I am unable to get anywhere with my case and find myself living in unsuitable accommodation for my children. I can provide more details on why my current living situation is detrimental to both me, and my children if needed.

Thank you in advance for any help you may be able to offer me.

Kind regards,

GimmieCousCous.

I would also forward a copy to the ombudsman for your council as this triggers a time limit on when they respond to you. They can also investigate your complaint on your behalf

Not 'myself and my children'. It should be 'my children and me'.

My children and I not my children and me

Supported living tenancy maybe for the fat underneath?

The phrase both myself and my children above should be “my children and me” (without the “both”).

“both me and my children” would be OK if the emphasis on “both” is needed, but the former is better.

Myself is never correct unless reflexive. “My children and I” is also not correct in this sentence.

Dear whoever,

My name is GimmieCousCous and I have been in temporary accommodation since April 2016 due to a house fire at my rented property.

In July 2016 a decision was made by somewoman that I had made myself intentionally homeless. The reasoning given in this decision was that I did not move back into the property, and wait to be evicted. However, this was not possible as the house was uninhabitable due extensive fire damage. The landlord also intended to repair the property and sell it, essentialy ending my tenancy.
is this next bit pointless? Furthermore, this eviction procedure was not advised to me at my initial homeless interview. If this information was made available to me then I could have provided further evidence that it would not have been possible to move back.

In the same month I received the homeless decision I submitted a review, and have been waiting since July 2016 for a rectified decision.
I was receiving statutory homelessness decision extension requests every 2 months beginning September 2016. In July 2021 these requests ceased.
I did receive correspondence from somewoman on 22/04/2022 in which they proposed an extension of the review until 06/05/2022. Unfortunately, I have had no updates since. I've been told that there is a backlog due to covid, but had already been waiting almost 4 years for a decision before the pandemic, now surpassing a total wait time of 7 years.

Despite sending numerous emails from [email protected] and making many phonecalls from 1234567 over the last 7 years, I am unable to get any closer to a solution, and find myself living in unsuitable temporary accommodation for me and my three children.

is the bit about my first T/A too woe is me or irrelevant?
I lived in fear in my first temporary accommodation after the property was broken into and burgled by a next door neighbour 6 months after I moved in. (I can provide details of the police report if necessary) I pleaded with T/A to get a move to no avail and it was another 18 months before someone listened and granted me a move.
Unfortunately, while I feel somewhat safer at my current property, I have lived above a string of problem tenants that has made living here very difficult. I have 3 children that have spent most of thier lives living in these unsettled conditions and it has had a huge impact on thier mental wellbeing. My eldest child struggles greatly with school due to the lack of sleep. He is in a critical year for his exams and this has had a direct and detrimental effect on his grades. I am able to provide more details if needed. do I need to write direct and detrimental or just detrimental? Or do I take out the and?

I ask for your assistance in securing safe and settled accommodation. Thank you in advance for any help you may be able to offer me.

Kind regards,

GimmieCousCous.

I did back in 2016 and submitted the evidence. Didnt make a difference.

Do I sign off with kind regards or just regards or something else?

I dont mean "just regards" in case I wasnt clear 😑

Essentialy = essentially.

Surpassing = exceeding

Para about intentionally homeless is good I think.

Re. the emails & phone numbers I meant theirs not yours.

Last bit is too emotive and possibly too vague. Why are they problem neighbours? Noise? Harassment? Obvious drug use? Threats? I think your first (horrible) temporary accommodation is in the past so can’t be fixed - focus on what needs to change now.

Apologies for brevity - rushing. Sounds generally good anyway.

Good luck.

@Mamofteenager I was going to wait until I get a response from the council. Do you think I should just forward the email to council, ombudsman, MP and councillors? Just throw it open to anyone that can help?

You could go old school and use Yours sincerely (if addressing a person) or Yours faithfully (if addressing Sir/Madam or a department). That will definitely not be wrong.

@WiseUpJanetWeiss i dint even realise I'd write mine instead of theirs 😑 thank god you noticed that. Too busy rushing on my lunch break.

I thought as much about the first T/A. it's not really relevant to my situation now is it so I'll take that out and be more clear on the issues I'm facing at the moment.

Thank you so much for your help

Yes I would. It might speed things up for you and show that you are serious in raising your complaint

I would add something about the action you are hoping this letter will achieve

Sorry cross posted. Is rectified the right word? Maybe positive or constructive?

Dear whoever,

My name is GimmieCousCous and I have been in temporary accommodation since April 2016 due to a house fire at my rented property.

In July 2016 a decision was made by somewoman that I had made myself intentionally homeless. The reasoning given for this decision was that I did not move back into the property and wait to be evicted. However, this was not possible as the house was uninhabitable due extensive fire damage. The landlord also intended to repair the property and sell it, essentially ending my tenancy. Furthermore, this procedure was not advised to me at my initial homeless interview. If this information was made available to me then I could have provided further evidence that it would not have been possible to move back.

I submitted a review the same month I received the homeless decision, and have been waiting since July 2016 for a rectified decision.
I was receiving statutory homelessness decision extension requests every 2 months beginning September 2016. In July 2021 these requests ceased.
I did receive correspondence from somewoman on 22/04/2022 in which they proposed an extension of the review until 06/05/2022. Unfortunately, I have had no updates since. I've been told that there is a backlog due to covid, but had already been waiting almost 4 years for a decision before the pandemic. Now exceeding a total wait time of 7 years.

Despite sending numerous emails to [email protected]
and making many phonecalls to 1234567 over the last 7 years, I am unable to get any closer to a solution and find myself living in unsuitable temporary accommodation for me and my three children.

Since August 2018 we have lived above a string of problem tenants that has made living here very difficult due to loud noise (music, parties, fights, and arguments) throughout the day and night, and open class A drug use. I have 3 children that have spent most of thier lives living in these unsettled conditions and the unease of not feeling safe at home has had a huge impact on thier mental wellbeing. They all are struggling with thier attendance and performance at school, particularly my eldest child, due to lack of sleep. He is in a critical year for his exams and this has had a direct detrimental effect on his grades.

I ask for your assistance in securing safe and settled accommodation. Thank you in advance for any help you may be able to offer me.

Yours faithfully,

GimmieCousCous.

Yeah probably not. I'll go with positive.

Honestly, thank you everyone who has helped me today. I promise I'll post an update with a picture of me and the kids in our new mansion when I get out of this dump 😊

Since August 2018 we have lived above a string of problem tenants that has made living here very difficult due to loud noise (music, parties, fights, and arguments) throughout the day and night, and open class A drug use. I have 3 children that have spent most of thier lives living in these unsettled conditions and the unease of not feeling safe at home has had a huge impact on thier mental wellbeing. They all are struggling with thier attendance and performance at school, particularly my eldest child, due to lack of sleep. He is in a critical year for his exams and this has had a direct detrimental effect on his grades.

This is good. Thier = their

Ooh thanks. I always mix that one up. Is effect right?

'it is detrimental affect on his grades'

Well done with the rest.

Copy in the ombudsman now and also send to the leader of the council if you can find their email.

I would also suggest copying in your MP as councils don't like the local MP giving them a hard time.

No it is effect.

Yes, effect is correct in this context.

Last question. What should my subject line be in my emails to my MP and councillors? I keep typing different ones but none of them sound right.