Why can't men search properly?

[HazelBite]

I have 4 sons and DH. All of them seem incapable of finding their keys, phones, wallets etc. the "lost" items seem to be sitting in plain sight but they bluster around not seeing what is completely in front of them.
Case in point, I was out yesterday walking my neighbours dog and I realised I didn't have my glasses, (normally they would be in my bag with the dog treats) I didn't know if I'd dropped them when crawling through a fence or left them at home. I called DH and told him of the problem and asked him to look by my lap top and check the bathroom for me otherwise I would have to retrace my steps of my walk!
He called me back, he had searched extensively where I said, no luck. 2.5 hours later after retracing my steps I returned home.
Yes they were on the table next to the laptop! His excuse, well they weren't in a glasses case so he didn't notice them!
There are so many more examples that I could mention, is it just my family or are other men like this?

Strategic incompetence.

Oh my god how did you not kill him when you got home?!!!!!!!

Your not wrong in my experience my dad is the only one who can actually LOOK for things case in point I was doing a million tasks one day ds wanted something it "wasn't where it should be" I said it's there im busy just pick it up he tantrummed (he is a teenager and too old to tantrum ffs) I said you can either cook for me or get it yourself ITS NOT THERE ITS BEEN MOVED ffs FINE walk to the book shelf stand INFRONT of the bookshelf stick out your hand PICK UP THE ITEM (silence) sorry mom (it really was RIGHT THERE)

The man look.

I don't know what it is or why it happens, but it's a thing. Some posters will tell you he thinks he's too busy or important to look "properly". But my brother does it even when it's something he really wants for himself, and wouldn't dare try and delegate it to me so what's the purpose of that if its always weaponised incompetence?

I like to think its a hunter gatherer thing that's lingered. They kind of top-level scan, and often look but don't see iyswim.

Ah yes, the man look, that isn't a proper look!

It has been explained in evolutionary terms. Men were good at going out and hitting woolly mammoths, whilst the wimmin became good at detail, looking more closely for edible plants etc.

Course, it's still a tad vexing whatever the real explanation.

I don’t think it’s always strategic incompetence. My DP gets himself into a real lather with himself when he’s lost something for himself or motivated to find something for what he wants to do whether I’m in or out of the house and he is much more able and willing than I am around the house. I don’t know if it’s close special awareness or eyesight or something but he’s not alone. Several friends partner’s have the same thing going on.

When we were first married, DH spent ages looking for his beret. He looked everywhere. He even managed to find his Christmas presents, which were in a box at the back of the top shelf in the airing cupboard.

The beret was on his bedside table.

Or maybe you are the one who can't find things. Afterall-, you can't find man who can find things... 🤗

I’m great at finding things, but not people.
You know when you’re meeting in a public place, and you know the person is there, but I just sort of rotate blindly and can’t see them at all

Not sure it's an 'exclusive to man' thing. I was shocked to the core when I realised it had gone quiet in the shoe shop and I realised I couldn't see my grandson. Blind panic took over and I shouted where's 'T'?

He was sat on my knee - my daughter and the shop assistant did a double take and they both laughed but I'm sure they were thinking differently.

My husband on the other hand can't find things because I've tidied them away because they've been 'out of place' for longer than I can bear.

Trouble is I can never remember where I've tidied them away to.

Because why would he bother when you'll do it for him

Thank goodness it’s not just mine.

Opposite here. My husband knows where everything is, has never lost anything. I am useless and am always asking where my things are!!

because "all women" always put things in the wrong place?

Sorry for the sexist post, just fitting in with the OP's sexist comment.

DH asked me where the small bin liners were.
I told him they were where they always were.
He went and looked and said they weren't.
He then got annoyed when I went to the cupboard and got them from their usual place.

You know, like it was my fault he hadn't seen them the first time.

I do this. I always forget something (phone, keys, purse) when I leave the house so try REALLY hard to check before I leave. My friend rang me as I was leaving and I was half listening while getting everything together. Eventually I interrupted and just shouted where the fuck is my phone!! He was like errr sparkl...in your hand?

I am not a man but wonder if this is a thing.

Im quite organised, I know where ive put something, I know where to go for something.
BUT, if it's been moved, even a foot or two away, I cant see it and I cant find it.
If something isnt where it was then its lost.

Actually, its a facet of my life that can be quite unpleasant as I always get the adrenaline rise of "ive lost my keys/wallet/important thing" until partner says "no its there look I just moved it out the way" etc.

It isnt strategic incompetence.

Yes, I’m the only one with looking eyes in our house. I refuse to use them to find other people’s stuff now. DP will stand in front of the fridge, door open, peering in and going “do we have any lettuce?” instead of opening the bloody salad drawer.

I refuse to engage with it. It is strategic incompetence and I am not domestic Google.

DH does this. "Where's my..." or "have you seen my...?" Often shoes, glasses, coat, phone etc. I just refuse to engage

It is a thing, when my youngest was getting an OT assessment they asked me if he has trouble finding items among clutter. She explained it to me, can't remember but it's a neurological thing more common but not exclusive to men. DH and 2 DS all the same.

What pisses me off is not dealing with the issue. I'm awful with dates I constantly get weeks confused so I have everything in a diary on phone and a wall one as back up. I know my issue and I have used tools to work around it. But DH makes no effort, he covers the kitchen counter with clutter then can't find his phone instead of just putting stuff away. Or he has actually argued with me there is no cheese in the fridge even when I swear there is, and then when I find it he argues that it's not his fault he couldn't see it cos it's behind the yogurt. It's a finite space FFS look properly. I no longer help DH or older DS find things.

I refuse to engage. H does this all the time and when being especially annoying rants 'I never normally lose things'. I used to join in and help but now I ignore it and go and do something else.

I just say 'I've no idea where it is' and go back to whatever I'm doing.

My dad does this. Opens a cupboard and says "do we have any X or Y?" So I tell him to look with his eyes, not with his mouth, and also, it's his bloody house, not mine!

My DH infuriates me with this. He will ask me where something is and I'll tell him, then he'll stand with his hands on his hips, gazing around before declaring "it's not there".

It IS there, and maybe if you actually fucking lifted things out of the way, you'd see it