Is retirement all it's cracked up to be?

[madroid]

If you have actually retired, are you enjoying it?

All things being equal, without, for example, health problems are you actually enjoying your free time? What do you do? What does your day look like?

I imagine there's a 'honeymoon' period where you relish not having to get up to go to work, catch up with all sorts of things... but then what? What have you got into?

My uncle retired years ago at 55. He's had cycling holidays, cycling club, golfing clubs and holidays and has traveled the world extensively. It's been a bit curtailed lately as his wife developed dementia. So I'm glad he had that time to enjoy life.

A few of my friends are talking about retiring early but I have to say I really don’t fancy it
The people I know who have retired seem to have aged 10 years,and make such a song and dance about the simplest things
I do love my work,and my life as it is ,which probably helps

What I find amazing from reading this thread is how many retired people are caring for or mention visiting elderly parents. It highlights how people retiring in their 50s and 60s may still be living on into their 80s and 90s - having been retired for thirty or forty years!

I am currently in my thirties, public sector job, don't own a house and little prospect of doing so any time soon, retirement seems like a baffling and impossible concept to me full stop. By the time I'm in my sixties or seventies, more of the population will be "of pension age" than not, and how will that work...

I think this comes down to how sociable you were in the working years. My mum & dad have both retired and they are busy seeing friends separately, but they do things together also (mini breaks, gym classes, walks etc). My MIL & FIL are the opposite. Both retired, neither had any plans to do much. MIL didn't have many friends to do things with and sadly both are now stuck at home with a raft of medical conditions that has affected their physical & mental health. Out of the 2 sets of parents, my in laws were much better off financially, but will end up spending their hard earned cash on care home fees. It's really sad to see.

I've been retired 5 years and I love it. My husband retired 4 years ago. We are never bored but we have lots to keep us busy. We don't have money for foreign holidays (not that I've ever been) but we have 3 ponies that keep me busy. I like that we see each other more, but definitely don't spend all our time together.

It won't. I'm 40 and fully expect to be retiring at 70 earliest, maybe later.

I felt like this on mat leave: expected to be skint but ended up making savings as spent on nothing except heating and food bills.

I think what you need is some kind of structure otherwise the days would just run together I’m sure.

My MIL talked about retiring non stop for 20 years. She then retired and did nothing. Absolutely nothing. She still went food shopping at 4pm on a Saturday, like when she worked. She talked about being busy but in reality she was having naps and watching tv all day. I know my FIL was bored rigid as well, but he had a hobby and did all the day to day chores/shopping. It turned her into a more unpleasant woman than she was already as she had so much time on her hands.

Yes, this is what I worry it will really be like. I don't have family all over the country to visit. I have a lovely garden but I'm not yearning to do more with it. I'm not interested in sport or the gym but feel I'd need to do something to fill the time and because it's good for me. I'm not overly interested in volunteering - would feel like work. I don't want to hang around with retired people.

Retirement for me is lovely, because I feel free from time restraints. I'm a carer for my husband. Because of his health problems our life is severely restricted. No more holidays, not even whole days out. But I get time to enjoy the company of the man I absolutely adore.

My Dad has a better social life than me and my dh put together. He's always off to spa days, days away, quiz nights, afternoon teas, days out etc. he also helps a lot of the more elderly in his village, he will shop for them, take them to hospital appointments, in return he gets his dinners cooked and cakes baked.

I think a lot has to do with your outlook and personality. If you're sociable and outgoing then it's easier. Money also helps, if you've got a decent pension then you can afford the outings, days out etc, I imagine if you're skint it could be very lonely

SwedishEdith, have you considered (or even heard of) the Independent Visitor Scheme?
This is a scheme run by Local Authorities for children and young people in care who don't have contact with family for whatever reason and who don't have anyone outside the system and who isn't paid to be with them.
It is the opposite of hanging around with retired people!

Volunteers are matched with a child in care and go through an interview and vetting process (In my authority, a panel from our Children in Care Council also interviewed them)
They are asked to make a minimum commitment, generally a year, and take the child out maybe once a month, fortnightly in some authorities.
They aren't expected to go somewhere that is a massive treat more than occasionally, most of the time it is low key, dog walks, parks, hobbies, playground, beach sort of things, because the focus is on befriending.
There is a small allowance for mileage, drinks, ice creams, etc.
Independent Visitors have regular contacts with the scheme organisers, who will advise on any arising issues.

Anyone else considering volunteering in their retirement, this is a brilliant scheme that isn't too demanding time wise and would really make a difference to a child.

@Giggorata thank you for this- I would love to do this- looking into it now

But I get time to enjoy the company of the man I absolutely adore

That's lovely ♡

*Do you miss a sense of purpose?

Do you ever feel it's a selfish life? I think I'd struggle with the putting myself first always after a lifetime of being conditioned to put my family first*
The answer is no to these questions, I feel liberated to finally put myself first.

Retired at 46 when we'd paid off our mortgage. Sold our house and moved abroad with 10 year old DS in tow, buying a small doer upper and living off the the interest and some capital from the sale of the UK house. Spent our time renovating it alongside being drawn back in to bits and bobs of work for the first few years. Moved to a bigger doer upper and renovated that. Had a very active social life. Came back to UK for various reasons after a decade but still travel around Europe for about a third of the year, sometimes seeking out the sun, it was more but Brexit made things more difficult.

Never bored. I do a Zumba class twice a week, go walking, NT, days out, shopping, reading. Last week we nipped off to Amsterdam for 2 days as we had tickets for the Vermeer exhibition and next week we're off to Pembrokeshire. In September we'll do our usual 8 weeks away in France and Spain.
We are both very lucky to be in generally good health and enjoy each others company. Financially it wasn't straightforward as we have never been well off but we always felt our time together as a family was more important than possessions. Now receiving state pension, albeit six year later than expected.

I love not working and wouldn't go back if you paid me😆

I bloody love it, bad night's sleep.. no matter go back to bed when I want, no forcing myself into work tired . Don't feel like peopling? Great go for a solitary walk. Need to do life admin/ sort house out, spend the whole day doing it at my pace. Free to go somewhere off peak, yes I am thank you! Fancy a day just sitting on the beach? Here I come. Want to stay up late? No prob, get up when I want to. Do all tedious things off peak with no queuing, that's me. Poorly child, oh yes, I can give my utmost attention! Nobody to answer to/ ask permission from... I never lived to work, now I can enjoy my house and garden rather than slave away to pay for it and never be in it. Thoroughly recommend!

@theresnolimits

Sounds great but as the husbands I know wouldn't do any of those things even prior to retirement, I can safely say we move in different circles 😁

Thank you @Giggorata - that does sound worthwhile.

Planning on dropping a day a week to prepare. More worried that dh might retire same time as me. I could do with a couple of years first on my own…

We'll have to have saved a lot of money. Especially those of us who are single so will need to live off one pension income.

I've also seen too many people age a decade in a year as a result of retiring- work keeps you young, or at least having daily tasks and social interactions do. Pottering around the garden is nice but is the fast track to decline.

I think this very much depends on your profession.
Whenever I've seen colleagues that have retired, they look a decade younger within a year, once all the stress of work is gone.

I retired six years ago at 52. I'm bored now. I have a good income, health. And this feeling of limbo. I do love a great deal about my life but fundamentally I lack a sense of achievement, of using my brain, and I miss the sense of joint endeavour and camaraderie that comes from working with (nice) colleagues.

I lack the motivation and desire to travel alone. I find days and days pass and I've achieved naff all: so I've planted some plants, dug the allotment a bit, made a pot (I do pottery), chatted to a few friends, but so what? I look at my neighbours with a young family and feel envious of their busy full lives and the "unexpected" that happens in families.

The most "unexpected" thing in my life is when the cat misses the edge of his litter tray.

I cant envisage the wonderful retirements of the boomers around me. How on earth will I have the money to fund the lunches, holidays, hobbies? No chance. We'll all be broke!

My DH is retiring next year aged 59. I can't afford to, so will carry on working but luckily I really love my job.

He will be off wandering the countryside and getting even more eccentric than he is now. 🙄

One of his friends retired a few years ago & is always off out and about (birdwatcher) but his poor wife is not a well person & it doesn't quite sit right with me that he buggers off all day, leaving her at home on her own. 🤨