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Original poster

DD overheard her dad speaking dirty...wwyd?

36 replies

ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 19:34

DD, 15, overheard a conversation in the open plan kitchen at her dad's house when she walked into their bit of the space as they were all getting ready to go out together. The below wasn't actively done for her to hear, thank goodness, but imo not enough care was taken to make sure the DC, including one much younger, didn't overhear.

Girlfriend said: I am going to get the pink cupcake at the cafe
DD's father said: I've got something pink you can put in your mouth if you want?

And they both laughed. DD is obviously mortified but didn't feel able to say anything and we aren't on good terms so I can't say anything to him. I think this is grim, but is my general dislike of him making me feel like this is worse than it is?

OP posts:
weirdoboelady · 02/06/2023 19:37

I think a 15 year old can probably cope with that. It's just parents being gross, from her POV. Yes, a bit grim, but just part of life, I'm afraid!

Dacadactyl · 02/06/2023 19:39

I agree with the first poster. As long as hes not done it deliberately then id leave it.

However, if it happens again, I'd say something to him if I were you.

Readingisgoodforyou · 02/06/2023 19:39

Well if you're not on good terms what can you do?
Perhaps encourage your daughter to be speak to them. I'm sure she's heard worse at school.

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BBYBjorn · 02/06/2023 19:39

I think you need to mention it. It doesn't have to be a big fuss, but it's unpleasant for your DD to hear. It likely was unintentional but he'll be more cautious in the future

Ihatethenewlook · 02/06/2023 19:43

100% she’s heard far worse than that from her mates, it was a rude joke, hardly ‘talking dirty’ 😂 She’s just grossed out it was her dad.

Freefall212 · 02/06/2023 19:44

This is something your DD should think ew disgusting and cringe and then move on from. She is 15, her father (and assumably long term live in) partner have sex.

Absolutely none of your business nor something to get upset over. Neither you or your daughter should speak up about it. In the moment she could have said ew dad gross, I don't want to hear that. But now that the moment has passed, just move on. Tis life.

Most teens have heard somethign related to their parents having sex. Many have heard more than a comment.

Original poster
ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 19:45

I don't think there anything I can do and although DD is grossed out by it, she doesn't want to bring it up with him and I suppose the best time for that would have been when it happened.

I don't think for one second he did it on purpose but he certainly didn't take any care for her or the other DC not to hear.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 02/06/2023 19:45

Unless he said it deliberately in front of her it’s a none event. She feels embarrassed and moves on, shel hear far worse than that at school.

Sunshineandflipflops · 02/06/2023 19:46

My DS is 15 and a lot worse comes out of his mouth! He is at the age where everything has a double-entendres and is followed by “that’s what she said” so although your dd might be a bit embarrassed that it’s her father she heard it from, it’s not going to cause her lasting damage and she’s old enough to tell him if she found it gross/uncomfortable.

Paperlate · 02/06/2023 19:46

I'm sure she's heard worse. It's not that big a deal.

Bansheed · 02/06/2023 19:47

Storm in a tea cup. She over heard, that's all.

Deathbyfluffy · 02/06/2023 19:47

Really not a big deal - I think your judgement maybe clouded by who it is.
Not a nice thing to hear, but personally I’d let it go

M340 · 02/06/2023 19:50

A grown man having a sex life in his own home, call the police!

I hope your DD can recover from the trauma and embarrassment. Hand hold from me Grin

bibbityboppityboo · 02/06/2023 19:50

I was expecting something much worse than that tbh! It's just a couple having a laugh imo and 15 is an age I'd expect someone to be aware of that sort of thing (different if she was super young and no clue about adult relationships!). If it becomes a regular event and actually full on vulgar commentary then I'd perhaps have a word.

Original poster
ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 19:53

Thanks all, it is good to get a sense check. No, not a long-term girlfriend a fairly new one so maybe that is why DD didn't immediately say 'ewwwww' at them as she has only met her a handful of times so far.

I'm sure this stuff does happen at school a lot but feels a bit different peer to peer than overhearing your dad.

OP posts:
Original poster
ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 19:54

@bibbityboppityboo I wasn't sure how to phrase the thread title tbh, I'm glad it wasn't anything worse!

OP posts:
HotPenguin · 02/06/2023 19:55

That's not talking dirty. I was expecting much worse 😂

TheSnowyOwl · 02/06/2023 19:55

I can’t imagine any child wants to hear that from a parent but I wouldn’t spend anymore time thinking about it.

bibbityboppityboo · 02/06/2023 19:56

ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 19:54

@bibbityboppityboo I wasn't sure how to phrase the thread title tbh, I'm glad it wasn't anything worse!

I'm glad it wasn't what I was expecting tbh 😂

Hopefully wouldn't happen again 🤞

Original poster
ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 19:57

@HotPenguin I'll up my game with DP!

OP posts:
Whinge · 02/06/2023 19:59

I'm surprised she even told you about it. It's a daft comment and she will have heard much worse.

PinotPony · 02/06/2023 20:03

You're overthinking it. Parent's embarrass their kids by saying inappropriate things in earshot. It's no big deal.

I still remember my dad joking with my mum about how much her boobs weighed and lifting them up when she was on the bathroom scales. I was grossed out, not traumatised.

My 18 yo son saw my wand charging the other day. I pretended to sing into it. He told me I was totally gross.

Nothing wrong with teenagers knowing that their parents have sex IMO.

Original poster
ricekrispi · 02/06/2023 20:04

@whinge well she generally doesn't enjoy his company so this was the 'AND ANOTHER THING' teenage grossed-out rant when she returned to us from spending a couple of half-term days with him.

OP posts:
Readyplayerthr33 · 02/06/2023 20:05

Your kid needs to grow up a bit. Is she very sheltered?

At that age, she should be able to handle an accidentally slightly naughty comment she overheard. I’d tell my 12 year old to get a grip if he heard something and made such a big deal out of it.

caringcarer · 02/06/2023 20:05

I'm surprised your dd didn't say get a room to her Dad and gf.